You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.
"They're plump, ripe, and priced to move. Get your fat Samoan today!" (Packman V2)
Stealing the results from the ROH forums, I'll add details afterwards.
Dark matches: a) Alex "Sugarfoot" Payne over Bobby Dempsey b) Derrick Dempsey over Mitch Franklin
Proper card: 1) The Ring Crew Express of Dunn & Marcos over Rhett Titus & Pelle Primeau. Afterwards, the Kings of Wrestling hit the ring...
2) The Kings of Wrestling: Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli over The Ring Crew Express when Chris Hero pinned Marcos.
3) Jack Evans over Jimmy Jacobs, Colt Cabana, & Ricky Reyes in a Four Corner Survival Match when Evans pinned Jacobs, who was KO'd by Cabana
4) Nigel McGuinness over Christopher Daniels
5) Austin Aries pinned Davey Richards after a second brainbuster. Aries hit a kick to the head and brainbuster, but Davey kicked out at 2.9. Aries hit the 2nd for the win.
INTERMISSION
6) Delirious over Shane Hagadorn.
7) Samoa Joe over Roderick Strong after a top rope Death Valley Driver which crunched Strong's head/neck
8) KENTA & Naomichi Marufuji over Jay & Mark Briscoe when KENTA pinned Mark Briscoe following the GO TO SLEEP.
Live notes:
* I have no idea why it was under a tent and not in the Sports World building proper. Anyway, it was POURING during the first half of the show, and the tent was sagging. Enough that Christopher Daniels couldn't hit the BME (or whatever he was going for off the top) because the roof was too low. I was in the bleachers, and we held up the roof at times so Strong could hit some top-rope move. Springboard moves were fine, because they did them in the middle of the tent.
* Also, the ringside area was ridiculously tight. Anything outside took place in the entrance, as there just wasn't room anywhere else. Aside from a bit of Marufuji/Briscoe action.
* The NOAH guys (three NOAH guys whose names I forgot already) didn't get involved in the action. They were at ringside for KENTA/Marufuji v. Briscoes, but didn't interject themselves. After the match, they got in and celebrated with KENTA and Marufuji, but that's it. By the way, after Danielson's promo (he cut one on them, saying he'd go through all of 'em if he had to in order to beat Marufuji in NYC), they just went to the back.
* Richards looked like he was legit knocked loopy on that second brainbuster. He got helped up by Aries and looked kind of out of it. By the way, they stiffed the living hell out of each other all night.
* Delirious was pretty much being Delirious. Hagadorn swiped the trophy back from the fan, but Delirious heaved a chair into the ring.
* After the show, (I think Derrick) Dempsey got poked by a fan who was waiting for the wrestlers to come out (thankfully, indoors). He threatened to rip his eye out in the parking lot, and, I quote, "that's a shoot".
When you actually long for the days of Vince Russo, you know you're beyond hope. I also wasn't sure if this should get it's own thread but or not but as of May 31st, Impact is airing an hour earlier at 8pm.