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The W - Pro Wrestling - Gimmicks We'd Love to See
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Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter








Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 2958 days
Last activity: 2328 days
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#1 Posted on
As some of you may know, I write a weekly wrestling column at Online Onslaught. For those of you who don't, I write a weekly wrestling column at Online Onslaught.

Anyway, I was thinking of writing a column on gimmicks that we would love to see, for a little while. And, if I write what I have now, I will only write about what I'd like to see. I was wondering what gimmicks would make you guys laugh, or make you tune in with interest for a few weeks.

Please, write in with a gimmick and tell me how that character would debut, what his music would be like, what his moves would be like, how he would get over, and how he would leave. What would his aim or purpose be? It's tough to make a one-liner entertaining in a descriptive plausible way. So hone that joke or idea, and send it here.

I'm not really interesting in "serious" gimmick ideas. More like something along the lines of "The Vengeful Loan Officer" or something like that.

Obviously, any idea that I use will be fully credited to whomever thought it up.

Send any ideas to my email address:

ShinyNewDonkey@hotmail.com

I would say, just post them here, but that would ruin the surprise and humor when the column is eventually run.





To get to The Obtuse Angle Archive, Click Here


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Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 10 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74
Well, I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate and disgust for this, but if Andy Kaufman, Brian Pillman, and Owen Hart walked out on RAW and hugged each other, then turned around and just pointed to the audience and started laughing as loud as possible, I would never miss a show for the rest of my life... But we know that's not gonna happen.



I merely suggested, that you had the driving ability of a brain dead labratory ape.
Stephanie
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Madison, WI

Since last post: 523 days
Last activity: 15 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22

    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Well, I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate and disgust for this, but if Andy Kaufman, Brian Pillman, and Owen Hart walked out on RAW and hugged each other, then turned around and just pointed to the audience and started laughing as loud as possible, I would never miss a show for the rest of my life... But we know that's not gonna happen.


Yeah...Kaufman's appearance fee is too high.

Steph



I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop
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The King of Keith
Lap cheong








Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

Since last post: 316 days
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#4 Posted on
JTL, I work in a bank, so I totally dig the evil Loan Officer. His finisher could be the Rate Slash, or the Check Cutter, Interest Fee, or the ultimate, THE ADVERSE ACTION. If he ever got in trouble, he could bring out his friend, THE ADJUSTER (repo men and collectors are now going by the PC name of Adjuster). His promos could amount to something like "I'm going to kick your overdrawn 50% debt-to-income ass out on the street."

Sorry for being such a nerd, but there's so much to work with!



Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter








Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 2958 days
Last activity: 2328 days
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#5 Posted on
Actually, thanks, guys, for keeping the thread on the main page. If everyone emails me ideas without replying, this thread submerges under all the others, and you and I could miss out on some fun ideas. So post a silly thing, then email me with more involved silly things.

VanillaSky, that's some pretty funny stuff. But I don't think we can crank a couple of months out of that. Unless you want to reconsider my credit. (Hey, I'm about to buy a house in the next few months. Can you play the super face and help that out?)



To get to The Obtuse Angle Archive, Click Here


"I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there are too many fat children."
vacheroi
Chorizo








Since: 29.5.02

Since last post: 3875 days
Last activity: 3871 days
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by VanillaSky
    JTL, I work in a bank, so I totally dig the evil Loan Officer. His finisher could be the Rate Slash, or the Check Cutter, Interest Fee, or the ultimate, THE ADVERSE ACTION. If he ever got in trouble, he could bring out his friend, THE ADJUSTER (repo men and collectors are now going by the PC name of Adjuster). His promos could amount to something like "I'm going to kick your overdrawn 50% debt-to-income ass out on the street."


This would have to be Mike Rotundo of course...no one else would do.
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 14 days
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#7 Posted on
RVD. Hammer pants. Enough said.

I know you said by e-mail, but this suggestion isn't serious enough to warrant it.



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Punkinhed
Salami








Since: 23.1.02

Since last post: 4250 days
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#8 Posted on


Something I'd love to see, is the super-nice face, the Nice Guy. He always smiles, always offers the hand before and after the match, never cheat or fouls, always looks concerned for his opponent when he wins, and tries to help them up the ramp. He gets the ref to raise both their hands no matter who wins. If he gets cheated out of a win, he just smiles and shrugs it off. After a while, the strain of getting beat wears him down, until he just snaps and goes nuts after losing once too often. He could have some huge promo about how Nice Guys always finish last.

Too involved? Then maybe we could have a two guys who look nothing alike, wrestle in totally diffirent ways,dress alike, use the same name, ....but you never see them together, and each denies the existance of the other.

Or hell, a pirate! Who doesn't like pirates? He could have an eyepatch, and a manager with a hook hand that he uses to cheat. He could wear those striped shirts and say "Arrr matey" a lot.



Triple H is a dead ringer for "Buzzer" of the Dreadnoks. Just give him some mirror shades and teach him to say "Blimey, Zartan".
Aldo D 2112
Goetta








Since: 21.4.02
From: West Palm Beach, FL

Since last post: 2568 days
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Y!:
#9 Posted on

    Originally posted by Punkinhed


    Something I'd love to see, is the super-nice face, the Nice Guy. He always smiles, always offers the hand before and after the match, never cheat or fouls, always looks concerned for his opponent when he wins, and tries to help them up the ramp. He gets the ref to raise both their hands no matter who wins. If he gets cheated out of a win, he just smiles and shrugs it off. After a while, the strain of getting beat wears him down, until he just snaps and goes nuts after losing once too often. He could have some huge promo about how Nice Guys always finish last.



I like that "Nice Guy" gimmick. The closest I've ever seen was Bob Backlund at the beginning of his comeback. He'd start and finish the match with a handshake (although some of the heels would not oblige) and acted like a good sportsman until he turned via Bret Hart.



"Alright, now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner, who mocks him and laughs at him as he is repeatedly crushed and maimed. I hope you enjoy it!"

"Weird" Al Yankovic - UHF
krakken2000
Kishke








Since: 31.10.02
From: seattle

Since last post: 2002 days
Last activity: 1729 days
#10 Posted on
Home Town Hero. A heel character who always acts like he is from whatever town they are currently wrestling in, only he screws up the details thus alienating everyone.

Hey Vanilla Sky! I too work in the lending industry. Maybe he could have a tag team partner in "The Escrow Officer"?

"I'm here to sign your closing documents, punk!"





Oh flaming box of stuff, is there no problem you can't solve?
Punkinhed
Salami








Since: 23.1.02

Since last post: 4250 days
Last activity: 4225 days
#11 Posted on


And see the Nice Guy could do a hardcore match, and after giving a particularly brutal chairshot, goes over to check on his opponent. He checks on the ref when he gets bumped, never hits on the Divas and always tries to be on everyone's side in an argument. His promos will have no profanity, instead using such devastating phrases as "I don't like you!"

Another one might be the "Master/Blaster" idea from Mad Max. Have a really dumb big guy and a smart little guy. Like the Heyman/Brock team except "Brock" is totally loyal to Heyman and follows his every word. "Heyman" could be some cruiserweight who, when he's losing, calls out "Brock" to help him. Unfortunatly, if "Heyman" isn't around, he can't help "Brock" adapt to his opponents styles and moves.



Triple H is a dead ringer for "Buzzer" of the Dreadnoks. Just give him some mirror shades and teach him to say "Blimey, Zartan".
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter








Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 2958 days
Last activity: 2328 days
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#12 Posted on
Punkinhed, I like it. No, it's not too detailed. "The Nice Guy" sounds fun. I like the idea of him checking on someone after hitting them with a chair. But I think the funnier part would be before the chairshot.

He'd start to swing, then grimace in reluctance and pain. Then he'd get smacked around for his hesitation. He'd try a chairshot later, then the same thing would happen. Finally, when he connected with a shot, he'd immediately drop the chair, as if it were on fire. Then he'd check on the opponent.



To get to The Obtuse Angle Archive, Click Here


"I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there are too many fat children."
shinstrife
Boudin rouge








Since: 5.10.02

Since last post: 134 days
Last activity: 15 hours
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#13 Posted on
Hmm,I present..."The MIME!"

His promo is well...he doesn't cut promo's. They mostly involve him and his opponent meeting and "The Mime" and they just can't understand what he's trying to get across for him. I suppose he would be either tweener or heel.

His move set invovles in the invisible Steel Chair,in which with an empty hands swings at the opponent and they must sell and invisible chair,he also is knock to bring up walls so strikes hit and he taunt's happily.

He would come out to no music,with black and white strobe lights and just kind of wave to the crowd. Of coarse he could turn evil mime and basically try to cram people in boxes...


Man I would just fall apart laughing to see that.



"When will the Hurricane get an Arch Enemy...say the Weather man?"

Shin Strife
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44

    Originally posted by shinstrife
    Hmm,I present..."The MIME!"

    His promo is well...he doesn't cut promo's. They mostly involve him and his opponent meeting and "The Mime" and they just can't understand what he's trying to get across for him. I suppose he would be either tweener or heel.

    His move set invovles in the invisible Steel Chair,in which with an empty hands swings at the opponent and they must sell and invisible chair,he also is knock to bring up walls so strikes hit and he taunt's happily.

    He would come out to no music,with black and white strobe lights and just kind of wave to the crowd. Of coarse he could turn evil mime and basically try to cram people in boxes...


    Man I would just fall apart laughing to see that.



That's hilarious. I would love to see The MIME in a bullrope match (it would be his specialty match that he never wins).



The call is from heroism, will you accept the charges?

*I* will always remember the RFM Club!
AbortionCandyMachine
Cotechino








Since: 24.10.02
From: backwards uncivilised cesspool

Since last post: 4100 days
Last activity: 4098 days
#15 Posted on
How about a wrestling "smart fan" who goes to great pain to point out every tiny plothole on Raw or Smackdown and criticises the workrate of every other wrestler in the company and accuses them of not selling, causing him to be despised by both faces and heels alike? If they really want to take advantage of the stereotype he'd have to be overweight and in general physically repulsive. Of course, his finisher would be a top rop DDT named the "DUD".



"MINE!" - George Steele, 1988
Evil Antler God
Potato korv








Since: 10.1.02

Since last post: 2941 days
Last activity: 1067 days
#16 Posted on
Wasn't the nice guy basically Waylon Mercy?



It's like WWE dangling a shiny gold coin in one hand while giving you an enema with the other, which I'm assuming is quite hard to do, but WWE is pulling it off - SKLOKAZOID
Scooter Trash
Blutwurst








Since: 23.7.02
From: Indiana

Since last post: 199 days
Last activity: 18 hours
Y!:
#17 Posted on
I've been partial to midget clowns. I'm sure Dink is ready for a manager role. Or how about a character that doesn't realize that wrestling is fake. He would out each week cutting promos on how he didn't think it was right that so and so hurt so and so, and would vow to set things straight with the wrongdoer because it ain't right to go around doing the things that they do.




drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 34 days
Last activity: 4 days
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ICQ:  
Y!:
#18 Posted on

    Originally posted by AbortionCandyMachine
    How about a wrestling "smart fan" who goes to great pain to point out every tiny plothole on Raw or Smackdown and criticises the workrate of every other wrestler in the company and accuses them of not selling, causing him to be despised by both faces and heels alike? If they really want to take advantage of the stereotype he'd have to be overweight and in general physically repulsive. Of course, his finisher would be a top rop DDT named the "DUD".


I was thinking of something kinda similar... more of a generic critic-type character. Does some guest commentary, talks shit about whoever's in the ring, then rates all their matches duds. Asses get kicked (mostly his). Or maybe he could be a manager, who only gives his wrestler(s) any credit.



Today's Out-Of-Context Quote, Courtesy of Punkinhead:

"I'm gonna go dig up a date!"
The King of Keith
Lap cheong








Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

Since last post: 316 days
Last activity: 275 days
AIM:  
#19 Posted on
Ahhh...Waylon Mercy. A typical southern gentleman. Liked to tell us "lives are going to be in Waylon Mercy's hands". I used to love when he'd hold the ropes open for his opponents and then let them go as they were coming through and apologize to the ref. "I'm sorry ref, my hands are sweaty and I lost my grip".


There is no limit with banking for heels. The Comptroller (what a great name), the HUD officer, the planner.... soooo much fun.

PS-JTL, I deal in indirect auto financing...sorry!



MattCrawford
Weisswurst








Since: 18.2.02
From: England

Since last post: 4332 days
Last activity: 4331 days
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#20 Posted on

    Originally posted by AbortionCandyMachine
    How about a wrestling "smart fan" who goes to great pain to point out every tiny plothole on Raw or Smackdown and criticises the workrate of every other wrestler in the company and accuses them of not selling, causing him to be despised by both faces and heels alike? If they really want to take advantage of the stereotype he'd have to be overweight and in general physically repulsive. Of course, his finisher would be a top rop DDT named the "DUD".


I don't think Scott Keith's taking calls to work in the business, these days.

Matt
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wait, the Shiranui? Is that the Sliced Bread #2, or am I mistaken? If so, wouldn't that mean Dragon has the same finisher as Spanky? That'd be a heck of a coincidence. -TMZ
- TalusMZ, Smackdown! 7-1-03 tapings (2003)
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