I've had just enough of your Renly bashing, Game of Thrones. No, that's a lie. I really haven't. Poor dead "King" Renly and his reputation, such as it was ("He was very clean" was the best compliment paid to him), were shat upon by a number of people in Westeros this week. As such, it was perhaps the funniest episode of Game of Thrones, if you like Renly bashing. (There's no Westerosi equivalent for "political correctness".) King Joffrey called Renly a degenerate and threatened to make his behavior punishable by death. (So no one in Westeros is changing their profile pics and avatars to the red and pink equal sign, then?) The guy who had the best jokes about Renly was Jaime Lannister, teasing Brienne the Beauty about having a crush on Renly. ("The only thing he was fit to rule over was a twelve course meal.") There's something particularly amusing about the Kingslayer, the guy who fucks his sister, ripping on Renly's "proclivities". ("If the throne were made of cocks, they'd never get him off it.")
Kingslayer sez: Incest > Gay
Finally caught up with Bran Stark and my, has Bran grown. Sansa noticeably grew to about seven feet tall last season, and Arya's, er, blossoming, and now Bran is the latest Stark scion to have a startling growth spurt, making the viewer question how much time has passed since Winterfell was burned to the ground. Bran, Rickon, Osha, and Hodor meet Jojen and Meera Reed, and Bran finally has his dreams explained to him, and us. Bran is a warg, someone who cAran see through the eyes of animals. Eventually, he'll be able to see into the past and the future, represented by the three-eyed raven he dreams of, which is actually Bran himself. In one of Bran's dreams, we also briefly hear the voice of dear, departed Ned Stark, who was referenced a few times in the episode as well.
Hot Pie and Gendry have been laying it on to Arya about the poor choices in names she gave to Jaqen last season. They're right; she could have named Joffrey, Cercei, and Tywin and ended the war in one fell swoop. Instead she named the Tickler, that guy who was gonna tell on her to Tywin, and the guards at Harrenhaal. Also, Arya has foolishly abandoned her old ruse of traveling as a boy for safety's sake because the Brotherhood Without Banners clearly identified her as a girl. What's more, Arya seems to have forgotten everything Syrio taught her about sword dancing from how quickly she was disarmed. After a nice meal of brown bread and stew that I was kind of envious of, they were free to go until the Hound showed up captured by the Brotherhood and outed Arya as the "Stark bitch".
Meanwhile, Sansa had probably her best scene in the entire series. Invited by Ser Loras to meet his grandmother "the Queen of Thorns" Lady Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg!), the Tyrells cajoled Sansa to tell the truth about Margaery's husband-to-be. Sansa got to finally unload her feelings towards Joffrey and everything she's been through since she left Winterfell. The Tyrells are a breath of fresh air to King's Landing and this show. Armed with this new information, Margaery brilliantly played Joffrey in their private meeting, telling him everything he wanted to hear about Renly's degenerate ways and flattering him in all the right ways. (She basically told Joffrey Renly asked her for anal.) Margaery cooing about how much fun it must be to kill things to Joffrey's ear and the two of them hefting his new crossbow is the closest we'll probably ever come to a love or sex scene from Joffrey. Joffrey also really doesn't give two shits about Cercei anymore.
Word about what happened in Winterfell finally reached Robb, along with news of the death of Catelyn's father Lord Edmund Tully. There's a great deal of unrest in the camp of the King of the North. They're now on the defensive and losing end of the war after Stannis' defeat and the Lannister-Tyrell alliance. Lord Karstark is still pissed about Catelyn freeing the Kingslayer, and no one's happy Robb married that succubus from Volantis. Now they're delaying the war so Robb and Catelyn can take half the army to Riverrun for Edmund Tully's funeral. And to hear Catelyn tell it to Talisa, all the horror that has happened to her family is her fault for going back on her promise to the gods that she'd love and be a mother to Jon Snow when he came down with pox as an infant. This is new information that wasn't in the books, as I recall, and if Catelyn is blaming herself, then so will I, because Catelyn sucks. Speaking of what's not in the book: Theon! (Theon disappears after book 2 and doesn't reappear until book 5.) It was a surprise to see Theon, but if you read the books, it was not a surprise to see him tortured.
North of the Wall, Jon Snow marches with the Wildlings south to the Wall and also learns what a warg is. It's not been abundantly spelled out, but the Wildlings, a bunch of different people from different tribes who don't always like each other but choose to function as one people under a ruler they elected, is the stand in for America in Westeros. Meanwhile, at the Fist of the First Men, the Night's Watch are also trying to get back to the Wall, slowed down by crybaby Sam Tarly. The crows need a Tom Hanks to yell at Tarly: "There's no crying in the Night's Watch!" But they all do agree Sam is weak and fat. (A lot of fat boy bashing in this episode too.)
During Jaime's Renly bashing, Brienne made a crucial tactical error not killing a farmer who happened upon them and recognized the Kingslayer. She made another tactical error in falling of a Jamie feint and letting him steal one of her swords. Thus we get Jaime dueling with Brienne, and Brienne soundly defeating the Kingslayer in battle. Although in Jaime's defense, he was hardly at one hundred percent. Next thing they know, they're felled upon by Roose Bolton's men and Brienne has failed in her sacred quest to bring the Kingslayer to King's Landing to exchange him for the Stark girls. Here's another fine mess they've gotten into...
(edited by John Orquiola on 8.4.13 0846) "Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
After the guards were done torturing Theon and left the cell, a man comes to his aid and lessens the vice(?) on his foot. I either didn't catch, or they didn't reveal who the man that helped Theon was.
I'm pretty sure they indicated that was Lord Bolton's son, Ramsey, who caught up with Brienne and Jaime at the end.
The stuff with Catelyn showing remorse over the way she treated Jon Snow was really odd.
Originally posted by You the man now, DawgAfter the guards were done torturing Theon and left the cell, a man comes to his aid and lessens the vice(?) on his foot. I either didn't catch, or they didn't reveal who the man that helped Theon was.
I'm not sure if the guy gave his name, but he said he was sent by Theon's sister.
Tyrion & Shea's back-and-forth also provided maybe the best comedy in the episode.
Originally posted by DawgI'm pretty sure they indicated that was Lord Bolton's son, Ramsey, who caught up with Brienne and Jaime at the end.
But I recognized him as Noah Taylor, of Almost Famous, err fame. (Also the Tomb Raider movies and the Tim Burton Willy Wonka movie, where he was Mr. Bucket.) (Not this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEWQRr6T-_g)
Maybe it's just me, but these two episodes have been profoundly boring. There are some nice bits here and there, mostly involving Joffrey and the Stark daughters, but I think that at this point the story has been split into too many separate parts to be presented the way they are doing it. Even without every story being given time in each episode, each one gets far too little time for interesting developments to happen each week.
There are many reasons the Blackwater episode from last season was so highly regarded, and I think the singular focus of the episode was one of the major ones.
I would agree the first episode was a little slow. This second one I thought was great, though it did jump around almost a little too much. But it doesn't seem like viewers are turned off and with all the big events coming I'm okay with starting slow to set them up.
And if you've read the books, there's going to be at least one big surprise that is briefly shown around the eight minute mark of this season preview video if anyone is interested:
In Arya's defense, the only reason the Tickler, that guy who was gonna tell on her to Tywin, and the guards at Harrenhaal were killed so quickly is because they were right there in Harrenhaal. I suppose she could have killed Tywin immediately but how long would it take Jaqen to get to Tyrion or Joffrey? Or to find wherever Jaime is? I think it was smart for Arya to take care of her present situation first. The first choice she made out of anger, the second one she made out of fear because she was about to get caught and the third she chose so she could escape. How are those bad decisions? And how ungrateful are Gendry and Hot Pie? Killing Tywin, Tyrion and Joffrey wouldn't have necessarily freed them so they'd still be in Harenhaal when "The Mountain" came through and killed everyone. (Granted they probably don't know that Clegane killed everyone but they should still be grateful to be free.)
(edited by Quezzy on 11.4.13 1616) Lance's Response:
Also, Arya had no reason to believe this guy could actually deliver on his promises. Had she known just how effective Jaqen was, she would've used that initial killing more wisely. And, she did plan to use the third kill on Tywin but he left Harrenhal rather abruptly.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
Originally posted by DawgAfter the guards were done torturing Theon and left the cell, a man comes to his aid and lessens the vice(?) on his foot. I either didn't catch, or they didn't reveal who the man that helped Theon was.
Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
The person who freed Theon was Ramsey Bolton, as played by Iwan Rheon (better known from the BBC show, Misfits). I think this is how Theon will eventually become Reek.
I'm just a little confused as who is currently holding Theon.
EDIT: It has just occurred to me that we are a week behind in our viewing (Mad Men), so I was revealing this super secret spoiler right as it was likely being revealed during this week's episode.
This is the first time in a long time that I can remember The Simpsons going with a cold open. It's also the first time I can remember them giving us a Treehouse of Horror Festivity, as opposed to a full holiday episode. Highlights for me: