The W
WrestleMania 31 begins in 100,998 seconds
Views: 103397688
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Calendar | Color chart | Log in for more!
28.3.15 1256
The W - Banished - Funny girl Qand A
This thread has 62 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
Pages: 1(471 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
User
Post (2 total)
YAKUZAKICK91
Cotto








Since: 8.3.03
From: San Jose California

Since last post: 4317 days
Last activity: 4291 days
#1 Posted on
*These are not my personal opinions, they are just jokes.*

Q: What do you do if your wife strays 10 feet from the kitchen?
A: Show her the way back, she must be lost.

Q: What do you do if your wife strays 10 feet from the kitchen?
A: Shoot the bitch, she's getting away

Q: What do you do if your wife is 5 feet out of the kitchen?
A: Damn! I should've gotten a longer chain

Q: What does WIFE stand for?
A: Washing Ironing Fucking Etc

Q: What do a woman and a toilet bowl have in common?
A: Without the hole, they're useless

Q: Why are a woman's cootch hole and butt hole so close together?
A: So men can carry them like a sixpack

Q: What's the definition of a woman?
A: Life support for a vagina

Q: Why are woman smarter during sex?
A: They have a genius plugged into them

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't, there's a clock on the oven.

Q: How many men does it take to mop the floor?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: What do ya do when your wife tells you to replace a lightbulb?
A: Screw the bitch, she can do the dishes in the dark.

Q: How are women like a postage stamps?
A: You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them away.

Q: How are women like floor tiles?
A: You lay 'em once and walk all over them the rest of your life.

Q: What's the extra skin around the vagina called?
A: The woman.

Q: Why do women get periods?
A: They deserve them.

Q: How many men do you need to open a beer can?
A: None, the bitch who brings it should have opened it too.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A: They don't have balls.

Q: Why do women have orgasms?
A: It gives them something to moan about.

Q: How are women like bowling balls?
A: You finger them, throw 'em down the gutter, and they come back for more...

Q: How many male chauvinistic pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Let the bitch do it by herself.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny, OKAY!?!

Q: How do you know if a ship is being captained by a feminist?
A: If the ship starts to sink, she shouts out, "Women the lifeboats!!" and she orders all of the ship's toilet seats nailed down to stop any incoming water.

Q: What is the difference between a terrorist and a PMS woman?
A: You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who cares? What the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!!

Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: Put a windshield in front of her face.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.

Q: Why do women change their minds so often?
A: To keep them clean.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: Besides "I love you", what three words does a wife want to hear most?
A: "I'll fix it."

Q: What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her

Q: What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told her twice

Q: What is the difference between a brick and a woman?
A: A brick doesn't follow you around after you lay it

Q: What do woman and spaghetti have in common?
A: they both squirm when you eat them

Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
A: So they will match the stove and fridge!

Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Because Mad Cow disease was already taken

Q: Why haven't women been to the moon
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: They think we care

Q: What's a surefire way to make a woman orgasm?
A: Who the F#@k cares

Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
A: So they will match the stove and fridge!

Q: Did you here they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink

Q: What's the worst part of getting a sex change from male to female?
A: When they remove half the brain.

Q: Did you here that they discovered that there are female hormones in beer?
A: Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running their mouths and driving lousy.

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the crap out of you.

Q: Why do men pass gas more than women?
A: Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: Why were shopping carts invented?
A: To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

Q: Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy?
A: It means you're in the wrong house.

Q: How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
A: She cooks/I eat; she cleans/I dirty; she irons/I wrinkle.

Q: What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
A: 1.No mind. 2.No business.

Q: Why do women have arms?
A: Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?

Q: If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you, what have you usually done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: What do you call a woman with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

Q: Why did the woman have two black eyes?
A: She had to be told twice.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.

Q: How are women like paper cups?
A: Both are disposable.

Q: Why do women like intelligent men?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: Put a winshield in front of her face.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost her mind?
A: A widow.

Q: What do you call a man who loses 150 lbs of useless fat?
A: A divorcee!!

Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?
A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told!

Q: Why does it take four women with PMS to screw in a lightbuld?
A: Because it does, alright!




Naton Jones. The future of wrestling!!!

http://elw.conforums.com The newest efed ran by the Yakuza and friends
Promote this thread!
SamRulezTheWorld
Linguica








Since: 2.3.03

Since last post: 3754 days
Last activity: 2829 days
#2 Posted on
Those jokes are incredibly rude and innapropriate.

On that note, I'm laughing so hard, I think I'm going to pee myself. Thank you, good night.
Pages: 1Thread ahead: Smackdown Preview
Next thread: Sooo, You got jokes huh?
Previous thread: Austin/Bischoff partnership
(471 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
Lets look at the current diva roster shall we. Lita, Jacqueline, Ivory, Dawn, Stacy, Nidia, Molly, Jazz, Torrie, Victoria, Trish, Sable, Gayda and Gail... That's 14, so there's two spots open.
- Net Hack Slasher, BOTY 2004 and Molly Holly (2004)
The W - Banished - Funny girl Qand ARegister and log in to post!

The W™ message board

ZimBoard
©2001-2015 Brothers Zim

This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.06 seconds.