Just for giggles, I went back & rewatched just the wrestling parts of tonight's show. And you know, without the context of the rest of the show, a lot of the wrestling was perfectly fine to damn good. For whatever reason, much of the non-wrestling framework of the show was just awful, & dragged a lot of the wrestling down along with it. Hey, maybe everybody had food poisioning tonight, & they were just all muddling through as best they could.
Booker & Christian was match of the night, & was pretty damn good stuff. Brawling out to the hockey boards was different, & gave them an excuse to cut to commercial without annoying me too much, since they hadn't really started -- call it a double minor for fighting. During the match, they were both really doing a lot of great work together.
BTW, on the subject of Christian, did we all see his segment on Confidential? He was hilarious -- probably the best one of those they've done. (If I hadn't had a VCR problem, I'd transcribe it.) "Who would win in a match between you & ..." "Me." "C'mon, you've got to let me finish the question. Who would win in a match between you & ..." "Me." :-)
Jericho/Test vs. Steiner wasn't bad at all. Chris & Test are both doing a great job with Steiner -- Scotty looked just fine & the wrestling oevrall was actually pretty good. (The premise was awful, sending Stacy out for a match, but that's not the wrestlers' fault.) It was pretty nifty the way Test just flipped Stacy up on his shoulder -- hmmm. :-)
What's the deal with the black garter on Stacy, & Scotty's removal thereof?
You've got to love Rico -- he takes a gimmick & runs with it! I think it could be pretty fun, once he gets settled in with it. Maven sold it really well (as did Tommy on Heat last night). Jackie is probably the most useful pure-valet around these days. All on its own, it was a fun, light segment.
Tommy & Randy the Chiseled Weasel were trying to give us good energy & do a couple of different things, but the crowd was just not in the mood (& were more interested in woo-ing at Ric).
Similarly, Hurricane & Spike were really working hard with La Res. Their match was probably the best movement & energy of all.
Rob, Rob, Rob. HHH is willing to sell for you. A little reciprocation, Rob? Reciprocation is good, Rob. At the end of the match, HHH is staggering up the ramp, & Rob is able to chase him at a sprightly jog. Ohhh, Rooooob. [/laura petrie]
Most pressing question of the night: Is HHH's hair significantly shorter? It's sometimes hard to tell when it's wet, but I swear it is. This better be a stylist error, & not a trend.
The women's match was an terrible idea in every possible way, but the ladies tried to make an awful booking work. Not exactly an auspicious debut for Gail, in spite of getting the belt right away. I didn't see anything obviously bad happen with Jazz -- maybe it was food poisioning, maybe it was the hair extensions -- hopefully she's OK.
JR really was not with the program tonight at all. (I'm sticking with my food poisioning theory.)
Kane was fine in the Under the Towel segments. So why didn't they come across as very interesting? Disclosing that it was Rob's idea for the mask stipulation should have been a bombshell, but it just flowed along with a "yeah, whatever" feel.
The chemotherapy Kane look (Isn't the beard gone now, too?) is not a good thing. Not one little bit.
Was it my imagination, or did they bleep wrestlers more tonight than I've ever seen before? (There were at least 3 occasions.) I'm telling you -- food poisioning.
I think you are right about many people having food poisoning, Emma. It would make a lot of sense, especially in the context of Jazz- whose exit seemed not quite right to me. It would also explain the lack of big names and the swearing. I heard three bleeps and one "motherfucker" they missed. Whoops!
I rather liked the show, there was much good wrestling going on, even if the skits were pretty iffy. I even liked the Christian/Booker ending, it seemed appropriate. It was funny, because over at my house we thought Christian won - and then they started playing Booker's music- what's going on? And then watching the replay we saw the double pin and we all got real excited about that. It was agreed upon as super cool, because when was the last time that happened?
I'm very angry at RVD with his lack of selling, and I don't think I can forgive him.
Triple H's hair looked the same length to me - I think it's just the way it clings to his face and neck when it is wet that makes it look shorter.
I love the Randy Orton bit of the evolution entrance video. It's just him making out with girls. How do I get a job as one of them?
Second thoughts: My beau suggested you mention the food poisoning theory on the main board, he thinks it's brilliant.
Also, what's the deal with Jackie's pants? We could see her butt crack. Butt cracks aren't sexy!
Be easy on Jackie, okay, she was wearing a thong after all... I'm not afraid to admit, that as good as the wrestling was (especially in the main event), the show as a whole sucked a big one. The flow really killed my buzz, and the commentating was about as animated as a drunk Test. Why, WHY can't Stacey see that if you want your Vitamin C NATURALLY, you go to Jericho?! Why?! I'm not gonna be quick to judge Gail Kim, because I read her interview, and she came off really cool, so I'll wait until she gets more time to show us her stuff. Still, the win came out of nowhere, so that was cool. I love battle royals, but this wasn't kosher because of the length (non existant) and the fact that it came without any hype.
ToastJr, all I'll say is that outside of HHH, of course, Randy Orton going oral was MY "Highlight of the Night"! I LOVE oral men, oh man, oh baby, a threesome with Randy and HHH would be legendary, LEGENDARY I TELL YOU! ::accidentally bites tip of thumb:: OWW!! Okay, back to the show..
I had a feeling that they'd screw up the Kane thing (Optimism sucks if they won't listen to the obvious), he looked like the warden in all those women's prison movies from what I saw.
I had fun with Raw tonight. The eye candy was just...unbelievable. Whew.
Steiner was funny tonight: Jiffy-Pop Jumpsuit! Why can't the writers come up with stuff like that all the time? Stacey in a match...that doesn't bode well for the duo.
Lance, I love the boring thing, at least he's getting air time. Hell, he didn't even have to wrestle tonight. Goldberg, I so love where they're going with him. Was there a groin shot in there during the JackHammer and the damn camera-crew went to a different angle? I saw flesh. I know I saw flesh.
Poor Kane. It kind of reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. Okay, this would be the second time I've mentioned this movie on this board. God I suck sometimes. He's all depressed, hating life, hating Rob (he hates Rob you know), hating his no hair, hating his no scars, afraid the fans will no longer love him, no longer accept him because he'll never be anything more than...a monster. A magic rose and he's the Beast. But doesn't he know we'll love him anyway? Okay, at least I will. I think I will...I'm not sure how I feel about him just yet...
Women's match. Yeah...um...what was that? That was not a Stratisfying match at all. Disappointed in that booking because I think the chicks can do so much more if given the proper attention. Maybe with some new blood, okay, different blood, the dynamics will be a little deeper. We shall see...
Booker and Christian - poor Booker T. These two put on some good shit. I hope Booker comes out on top somewhere along the line. Don't get me wrong, I like Christian as the champ, and he LOVES his belt, but I like Booker, too. Bah, I dunno. Either one I suppose. That's just awful of me to say...
Steiner again. Props to Stacey, she sold the damsel in distress awesome! Was it me or did Steiner look good in this match? I haven't rooted for Steiner since he was pulling Trips' clothes off! (Thanks, Steiner for that btw, the ladies appreciate it.) I'm happy with this little feudy thing going on. Stacey is all arms and legs. Emma, I don't know what the garter belt thingy was about, that was weird.
Rico and Maven. That match was deeply disturbing, in an oddly appealing sort of way. The hotel room key, the kissing, the prancing: Maven was awesome in that match...the acting, I mean. Good for Rico finding something to do for the moment. The blonde with him: double stitches on the ass my friend, no need to be showing that sort of thing off...
Randy Orton. I missed the match because his abs, back, arms, and especially his technology (package/groin) distracted me too much. My god, he is beautiful. I think to myself, Trips better watch out, one more stint with those purple tights and he might evolve his ass right out of my fantasy role playing games! *Gasp* I didn't just think that...I didn't just think that...
RVD - man he is flexible. That is such a...never mind, my thoughts are still in the gutter after watching Orton.
Hurricane and Spike. Okay. I like them both but for some reason not together. I can't stand those LaRa people. Go away. You suck and you wear berets.
Terri, man, what's wrong with her skin? I think I'd rather watch Sable. *Gasp* What the hell is wrong with me tonight?
Ah, now the fun starts. My boy. Hunter. AND he's in BLACK!!! I cheer!!! He has redeemed himself and secured his top position in the fantasy role playing games!!! I bet Boytoy will be happy to know that! Just what is it about him? I dunno. Something is there. I really loved the blue trunks, but after not seeing the black ones in awhile, I realized just how much I really do love him in black. Anyway, yes, Emma, his hair did look shorter. It looked mad wetter than usual, too. I thought maybe he knew he was gonna go a long match so he poured some extra water on it. But yeah, it def looked shorter to me. RVD, don't even get me started. He's just...frustrating...christ - my dog can sell better than him!!! And Trips made him look great. I had a scary flashback when RVD went up to the top rope, all I kept thinking was don't hurt Trips again you piece of no-selling, flexible, crap! Luckily, he didn't.
Kane chokeslamming Bisch - good job Kane. Apparently Kane hates Eric as well.
Waaaaay too much RVD talking in this installment. I've said this before: I have no fucking idea how a man with that ASS and that flexibility sucks so fucking horribly!?!?!? If he could just stretch out in front of the camera, not speak or anything, just stretch, then go away? Happy fans - right there!
The food poison theory is good, it would explain a lot of things I noticed, and you guys know me, I don't notice shit. One, King and JR sucked ass tonight. They just fumbled over their words, etc. That just made their annoying as usual demeanor that much more pathetic. Two, not a whole lot of backstage stuff, I mean multiple character wise. There was (see above) and lots of Kane and Eric, but nothing like usual. No Evolution arrival, no interviews, backstage antics, cars not starting, etc. It seemed all backstage stuff was limited to two rooms, wherever Eric was, which if I remember was not an office, and the janitor's closet where Kane was hanging. The show had kind of a weird feel to it and I'm not sure why. I enjoyed it tremendously but there was def something unusual about it.
The crowd just wasn't into it (either that or the idiot sound guy again). I forgot to mention, Rico was funny, but Goldust did it first and best. Who cares about all that--HHH in black and Randy Orton, oohhhh.... ::drool::
We've got to get La Res out of the silly costumes. (Take that as you will.) They're both perfectly hunky bits of beefcake, Rene is really a cutie, & they're losing us. I completely blame the packaging.
That wasn't the same Evolution video that they've used before, was it? I don't remember all the making out with the groupies ... Hey, maybe Venis Video is producing the Evolution video(s). I certainly appreciate cutie lil' Randy, but I've got to go the other direction up the beefcake scale, & take Val as my second favourite Raw-cast eye-candy.
Tomboy, I know what you mean about "Will we still love Kane tomorrow?" I'm not so sure either. (Thank you very much for that damn "Beauty & the Beast" song being stuck in my head.) I wonder how the people on the Kane-anites' message boards are doing. I'm guessing there is much unhappiness.
On a totally unrelated note, Edge's latest column (wwe.com) is up. And he mentions ... everybody sitting down? ... that he cut his hair!!! Nooooooo!
edit: Oops -- that's what I get for skimming. Edge teases us with the thought of him cutting his hair. Edge, darling, that's something you just don't even joke about!!!
I don't watch wrestling for the conspiracy theory. I tried that a long time ago, trying to guess what would happen, who would win, etc. I suck at it. I always pick the wrong winners, the wrong storylines, the wrong screwjobs.