Today, I was stuck at home watching the Sci-Fi channel when what movie comes on...none other than Flash Gordon! Is it just me or is this movie like the ultimate enjoyable waste of time? Everytime it comes on I can't help but sit down, rock out to Queen, crack jokes with my friends and watch this car wreck happen. The cheesie special effects, the what some people call it's "self parody", the acting...it's bliss!
-Exacly how many times does that chick cry? "I love you flash!"
-I haven't seen that much bad chroma key since my TV101 class. And that's just the tip of the bad effects iceburg.
-During the "salute" to Meng during his wedding, did anyone else notice his arm movement, almost motioning "YES!" It's the little things people. And Meng did completely make this film.
-"The End?" THERE MUST BE A SEQUEL!!! I love this flick!
I freaking LOVE this film. Hell, I even have it on videotape - which I bought from the store, not recorded from TV.
I'm not sure that any soundtrack since then has ever rocked as hard as the soundtrack Queen made for the film. And most "metal" bands today could only wish they rocked as hard as Queen does in the final battle score.
Some responses to others' thoughts: Exacly how many times does that chick cry? "I love you flash!"
"But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth! FLASH!" Jeez, she meets him on a plane, and she's already head over heels for him. Was Dale Arden the easiest chick on Earth, or what?
"The End?" THERE MUST BE A SEQUEL!!! I love this flick
Man, that was the biggest set-up for a sequel ever until "It's your kids, Marty!! Something's got to be done about your kids!!"
If I have a choice between Aura or Leia, Aura wins 10 times outta 10. Leia never had her own personal red midget.
Not to mention that she's a total slut. And she knows how to get her way: To Flash, after he's resurected and wants to save his friends: "It's pretty risky turning against the Emperor's daughter." To Baran: "If you hurt Flash, I'll never see you again."
Princess Aura would make the perfect heel valet/manager.
Never stick your hand into a strange stump in the middle of some treehouse church.
Especially when you're led there by Riff-Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
For the luvva God. Remember to keep your head down
"See you in Mingo City, Prince!" Fucking classic.
And finally, nothing stops a wedding like running over the groom with a Freudian looking rocket.
ROTFL!!!! Or trying to run said Freudian looking rocket into the lightning field. "That's suicide!" "No! It's a rational transaction - one life for billions!" "You loony bird! Get outta here; they need you on the ground!"
"It would have been cool if Owen said Wahoo McDaniel was kicking his ass." - WTF13; "But the Junkyard Dog rushed the ring and made the save BY GAWD (literally BY GOD!)" - SuperShaneSpear; proving that you can still find a way that Owen Hart and Bret Hart are still good for a laugh.
* If Flash (Sam Jones) was acted any more stiffly, a mannequin could have taken over the role. Prince Barin (Timothy Dalton) runs him a close second in the stiffness category, though.
* Dale (Melody Anderson) is incredibly easy: she falls for Flash on sight, succumbs to Ming's ring instantaneously, and agrees to marry Ming even after he reneges on his word to spare Prince Barin and Hans Zarkov.
* Brian Blessed and Topol seem to be battling over who can overact the most. Brian Blessed wins, of course - no one chews the scenery like Brian Blessed!
* Aura (Ornella Muti) is impressively slutty.
* The score does rock - has a band ever rocked better on a movie score?
* The special effects were obviously charged to Dino De Laurentiis' American Express Card.
* Sucks to be Ming - killed by an ornamental bauble on one of his own War Rockets.
I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop - "Turn Up The Radio", Autograph
I love this one, too. One of those movies that knew exactly what it was and was damn good at it. Ming's wedding vows are great, promising not to blast Dale into space until such time as he grows weary of her. And not only is the battle theme full of that Brian May awesomeness, the actual Flash theme with the "Flash! Ahhh-ahhh! King of the Impossible!" stuff is fun, too.
I know there are some pulp/comic afficianados here who will probably think I'm nuts, but I think The Rock could make a really fun movie in this style (a bit toned down, I guess) if they ever tried to make another Doc Savage movie. He's already bronze, just keep the hair all the way down and spray it some white/platinum color, and you have your Man of Bronze right there.
"Flash Gordon" Ming the Mercilles rules over a vast empire of goofily dressed misfits with an iron first. His daughter Aura hangs around with Ming and gives the whole thing a weird kinda incesty vibe. Weird incesty vibe and ruling with iron fist jeopardized when Dale Arden shows up and Flash Gordon crosses the boss and makes Ming look stupid.
WWF: Vince McMahon rules over a bunch of gaudily dressed misfits with an iron first. His daughter Stephanie hangs around and gives the whole scene a weird kinda incesty vibe. Weird incesty vibe and ruling with an iron fist jeaopardized when Trish gets Vince all horny and crazy and ruling with an iron fist thrown verklempt by Steve Austin who crosses the boss and makes Vince look stupid.
What in the orange-and-black hell were they thinking? No "Time Warp" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show? No Julie Brown's "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun?" Or at least my namesake, Michael Jackson's "Thriller?" Ye gods.