Okay, I don't know if anyone here has played Viewtiful Joe for the GC (and if you haven't, then I highly recommend it; it's a great throwback to those classic arcade beat-em-ups like Double Dragon and Final Fight), but something very ... well, let's say interesting happens when you beat the game that I simply was not prepared for.
A little backstory first: as the game starts out, you get a cutscene of Joe and his girlfriend Sylvia sitting in an old movie house; Joe is interested in watching his favorite old-school movie hero (Captain Blue) up on the big screen, while Sylvia just wants to make out. In fact, she repeatedly pulls Joe off-camera in an attempt to get some lovin' (complete with "kissy kissy" sound effects). But Joe wants none of it (why?) and continually rejects her advances in an attempt to watch the movie. Eventually, a giant hand reaches out of the movie screen and grabs Sylvia, knocking down our hero and setting the whole plot in motion.
Flash forward to after you beat the game (this is where the spoilers come in, folks) ... Your reward for beating the game is the ability to use Sylvia as a playable character. Now, when I first unlocked this feature just this past weekend, I figured that I would be treated to all-new cutscenes to better illustrate this change to the storyline (after all, it wouldn't make sense to see Joe doing the same old stuff in the cutscenes and then all of a sudden have Sylvia step in and take over). However, it didn't quite work out that way.
Once you select Sylvia, the scene starts up at the same movie theater as there was at the beginning. However, instead of seeing the original cutscene from Sylvia's perspective, you have Joe totally out of the picture and replaced with Sylvia's twin sister (can't think of her name right now) ... and that's where things begin to get a little weird.
For starters, the spoken dialogue is run in reverse, like they took the tape of the voice actors and played it backwards (although subtitles are provided); I guess it makes sense to do that, since the script does change to reflect the new characters, and it would take up a lot of space to include it all as spoken dialogue. But it still kinda freaked me out at first, like there might be something wrong with the disk ... But that was NOTHING compared to the next suprise that awaited me!
So, the two girls are sitting there in the movie theater, speaking their weird backwards-talk to each other ... Only this time it's Sylvia who wants to watch the movie, while her twin sister keeps trying to put the moves on her
Now, from what the subtitles are saying (I could hardly pay attention to the words, I was so shocked), the twin is apparently only interested in having a "tickle fight" ... But that didn't stop the programmers from leaving in the "kissy kissy" sound effects and the hearts floating around in the background!
Quite frankly, I'm surprised neither Capcom nor Nintendo stepped in and raised some sort of objection to this ... I mean, maybe lesbian incest scenes are all the rage over in Japan, but I'm not so sure such things are going to be tolerated in today's "wholesome, family friendly, Janet Jackson-less America."
Just so you guys know: 75% of this crap [you read on the internet] is made up, either by the writer, or the wrestler the writer is getting the dirt from. Just so you know. -- Statement by "Tammy Sytch", from Hyatte's Dec. 29th column ... Lest we forget.