Originally posted by Mayhem Wedding advice? ... make sure you have a killer bachelor party ...
I will go along with most of the comments regarding her day and let her make the decisions - be there, act alive, but request no substantive changes from what she wants. If you can be elsewhere (I was overseas and then on the west coast for the year before our marriage until 2 weeks before), so much the better.
and DO NOT have a killer bachelor party, unless partying is a serious part of both of your lives. My friends took me out, we had a couple of drinks, we goofed off, watched some sports together and that was it. Don't have to explain a stripper or a bunch of porn on your honeymoon.
(edited by AWArulz on 9.5.07 0711) http://myspace.com/awarulz We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
I've been engaged since August of last year. We just picked a date and have started planning. I will say one thing though; even if they say "I never considered getting married" or "I never put much thought into it" (which is what she said).....
They're lying. Even of a sub-conscieoius level they've been thinking about it. Thus my own personal philosphy during the wedding planning; get the ____ out of the way! All I want is to get married!
CRZ, The Guinness, DrDirt and AWARulz all have said good things. The one thing I owuld like to mention is AWARulz's statement about the machelor party.....he's absolutly right. Stay way from the strippers/flings/anything else like that. TRUST ME. Cause nothing says the OPPOSITE of "i want to spend the rest of my life with you" as having 'fun' with a stripper.
My bachelor party? 50-75 people going paintballing. Word!
(edited by El Nastio on 9.5.07 0859) Yes, I finally have updated the Troll Moment of the Week! This week is brought to you by ;
"STONEBOY!" , who brought us the following such pieces of wisdom as:
STONEBOY!: "THIS GOES MESSAGE GOES OUT TO ALL CANADIANS ESPECIALLY MONTREAL WHEREVER THE F#CK THAT IS".
Kidbrooklyn: "Please god tell me that you're making fun of the douche who started this thread...
Wait, no he isn't. He's serious. I hadn't read his previous brilliance before. I apologize" (in reference to a reply by James1978).
Skip the raditional bachelor party. Get together, have a little fun and don't get stupid. If you have the bachelor party as one last bit of fredom before the "old ball and chain" kicks in, do you and your wife to be a favor, don't get married. If you view it as giving up freedom instead of gaining a life partner, don't get married. However, if you are concerned about being a worthy spouse and partner, you are on the right track.
I hate "me too!" posts, but that's about all I can add after Dr. Dirt, AWARulz, and The Guinness. said their piece. You are an important part of the wedding, but this is absolutely her day. Be attentive to the wedding plan and have opinions, but not strong opinions. It's not the same as being "whipped" (though I see nothing wrong with that either... ).
I was lucky? enough to be in a different city for the 6 months leading to the wedding. I listened intently on the phone to what was being planned, made the odd comment or suggestion that was ignored, and generally let her and her mother dictate what was going to happen.
In the 17 years since, she keeps reminding me that I didn't really do anything, to which I reply, "Did you have a nice day?" and she says yes everytime. I say, "then we did it right, didn't we?"
In terms of Bachelor parties, it depends what type of relationship you already have. If you are someone who regularly goes out with the boys and sometimes goes to a strip club and the two of you are already all right with all that, do what you want.
Again, I was luck enough that I had 3 bachelor parties, (in three different cites I had lived in at the time...) 1 of which included going to a strip club. No worries from my wife. (we have been happily married for 17 years now...)
(edited by haz on 9.5.07 1103) There's a World Container with your name on it, and a billion ways to go bezerk!!
We were actually talking about bachelor/bachelorette parties last night. I pretty much decided it's going to be me, my brother, and 3 or 4 of my friends splitting a case of Natty Light playing Halo and Super Smash Brothers. That's about all the excitement we get into :)
When you are working really hard to save money for the wedding, remember that the honeymoon will cost money as well.
I don't remember a lot of details about my wedding because I was so nervous I would mess something up and didn't focus on what was around me. Try to relax and have fun. You will have a long time ahead of you to be nervous around your wife anyway.
Originally posted by DrDirtSkip the raditional bachelor party. Get together, have a little fun and don't get stupid. If you have the bachelor party as one last bit of fredom before the "old ball and chain" kicks in, do you and your wife to be a favor, don't get married. If you view it as giving up freedom instead of gaining a life partner, don't get married. However, if you are concerned about being a worthy spouse and partner, you are on the right track.
We did a golf outing for my bachelor party. Had a little beer and grilled stuff afterwards. This, of course, only works if you play golf - but I got to include my dad and quite a few friends who wouldn't have been up for a wild party.
University of Kentucky basketball isn't a matter of life and death, it's much more important than that.
All jokes aside, go wit CRZ and keep your mouth closed. The last thing you want is after or during the wedding for you fiance/wife to be dissappointed that she didn;t get what she wanted. The wedding is all abotu the bride - we are just a guy in a tux. Let her enjoy the engagement and wedding planning. If she asks, offer an opinion, but be prepared for it to be shot down and do not let it hurt your feelings. The only input into our wedding was I told my wife no way on pitchers of beer. There had to be bottled beer and I had to choose which ones. She of course did not care since she drinks wine and we have been happily married for 13 years.
Enjoy the engagement and the wedding. Congrats!
Fry crack corn and I don't care Leela crack corn I still don't care Bender crack corn and he is great Take that you stupid corn!
"just because you ARE a character does not mean you HAVE character.."
I truly understand the advice that the wedding is often "her day", but much of that depends on the both of you. I did most of the planning of my wedding, and ALL of the honeymoon planning - but I was also the one footing the bill for the whole thing. We had a really long engagement - extenuating circumstances - and we talked together all the time. Talk to your bride-to-be - never forget she is the most important person in your life, do not take her for granted.
She basically had to order her dress and show up, we had brunch at a couple of places in order to get an idea how the food was when it was cooked in large quantities. You should know what color flowers she likes, etc. Chances are you've been to or will go to other weddings before your own - use them as a learning opportunity.
Remember, a wedding is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime.
Some of the best advice I got when I got engaged was to play cards together - a simple thing like this reinforces to each other that you like each other's company. It's a good chance to talk about your concerns with each other in a less confrontational setting. And every year my bride and I exchange a deck of cards in our stockings. When we were young and poor, we couldn't afford much else.
Most long marriages last because it is truly a partnership built on mutual respect. Divorces are caused by a number of reasons, but most often the critical ingredient respect is sorely lacking.
Keep time for yourself, but make time for each other. Marriage is also work, at times, but it can be very rewarding.
This is for any Andy Kaufman (and I guess Bob Zmuda) fans. Zmuda was recently on Marc Maron's excellent interview series, WTF. It's a longer show than usual, with the interview segment clocking in at over 90 minutes.