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The King of Keith
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Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.98
I don't know if you guys care or not, but I've posted stories and questions about my love life here before and got great answers. I feel the need to share my story.

This weekend I went to see Arcade Fire in DC. My girlfriend of a little over two years and I went. Arcade Fire is OUR band and the song "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" is OUR song. When the band played it, I gave her my mom's engagement ring and asked her to marry me. She said yes! (Actually it was more like "OKAYYYYY!!!!!").

So, thank you all for your help and your answers when I was asking how soon was too soon.

Now, wedding planning. Any advice?



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Since: 9.12.01
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
    Originally posted by The King of Keith
    Now, wedding planning. Any advice?
Try very hard to have no say in anything. ;-)



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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
    Originally posted by The King of Keith
    I don't know if you guys care or not, but I've posted stories and questions about my love life here before and got great answers. I feel the need to share my story.

    This weekend I went to see Arcade Fire in DC. My girlfriend of a little over two years and I went. Arcade Fire is OUR band and the song "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" is OUR song. When the band played it, I gave her my mom's engagement ring and asked her to marry me. She said yes! (Actually it was more like "OKAYYYYY!!!!!").

    So, thank you all for your help and your answers when I was asking how soon was too soon.

    Now, wedding planning. Any advice?

Elope + Elvis = Excellent.

(edited by spf on 7.5.07 1216)


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Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.30


CRZ is right. You'll thank us later.




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Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.40
    Originally posted by pieman
    CRZ is right. You'll thank us later.


I think the only reason to go against that advice is if there is something that you are going to hate (like a certain flower choice or dress color or something) and she will probably give in on that sort of thing unless it is in direct conflict with something she's always wanted at her wedding, otherwise you're screwed. You are only going to get one shot to object (right at the first mention of the subject) so you'd better take it.

Anything you feel ambivalent about, just act interested (IMPORTANT) and let her have her way because she cares about it a lot more than you.



Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

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Since: 8.10.03
From: flyover country

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.73
JayJay is right. Act interested but go along with everything. Ocassionally, when pressed, provide a little input which will promptly be rejected. Cave in a say how stupid you are. If your soon to be mother-in-law is involved, really, really go along.

Remember, Mothers always make the daughter have the wedding they wanted because their mother did it to them. The inertia involved is incredible and dates back thousands of years. And remember, normally there is nothing quite so like God on earth as a bride to be. But its okay, they go back to normal after it's over.

Most all congrats and God Bless. After 27 years, it's still the best thing I ever did. That and have a child.



Perception is reality
Reverend J Shaft
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Since: 25.6.03
From: Home of The Big House

Since last post: 21 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.91
    Originally posted by DrDirt
    JayJay is right. Act interested but go along with everything. Ocassionally, when pressed, provide a little input which will promptly be rejected. Cave in a say how stupid you are. If your soon to be mother-in-law is involved, really, really go along.

    Remember, Mothers always make the daughter have the wedding they wanted because their mother did it to them. The inertia involved is incredible and dates back thousands of years. And remember, normally there is nothing quite so like God on earth as a bride to be. But its okay, they go back to normal after it's over.

    Most all congrats and God Bless. After 27 years, it's still the best thing I ever did. That and have a child.


I whole-heartedly endorse everything said here by the good Dr. Also, make sure to write down all of the "moments" you and she have had since you first met. You will be increasingly tested on all of these "moments" after the nuptuals. And by "moments", I mean "details of the times your fiance has bookmarked in her head - first dance, first kiss, song playing at crucial moment, clothes she was wearing during each of these" not "the time she watched me eat 50 wings in one sitting" or moments WE consider equally as ... momentus.

Also, when you decide to have a child, make sure you value the first Mother's Day with your wife and child over any achievement earned by another member of your family.
Sec19Row53
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Oconomowoc, WI

Since last post: 7 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.11
    Originally posted by DrDirt
    JayJay is right. Act interested but go along with everything. Ocassionally, when pressed, provide a little input which will promptly be rejected. Cave in a say how stupid you are. If your soon to be mother-in-law is involved, really, really go along.

    Remember, Mothers always make the daughter have the wedding they wanted because their mother did it to them. The inertia involved is incredible and dates back thousands of years. And remember, normally there is nothing quite so like God on earth as a bride to be. But its okay, they go back to normal after it's over.

    Most all congrats and God Bless. After 27 years, it's still the best thing I ever did. That and have a child.

While I wanted to just agree with CRZ, I'll quote this one instead. If you really don't care one way or the other, go with her options. Don't take the first tux you see in the store (even if it really is what you want), try on others.

When it gets to the big day, make sure you stop and soak it all in - I hardly remember my wedding day because I didn't watch what has happening (alcohol wasn't an issue, either :-) ).
The Guinness.
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Since: 24.4.05
From: San Diego, CA

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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.08
First, congratulations on making your last single decision.

As far as the wedding planning goes, get ready for "yes dear" mode. Go along for the ride. This is something she has probably been planning for a long time. I mean way back, as far as her Ken and Barbie days. If you overstep your bounds, like maybe adding something to your gift registry, you will face a demon that you did not know existed. If you think you have a good idea, rethink it.

In hindsight, all that really mattered to me is getting to own my wife and being permitted to invite the close family and friends to share the moment with me. Oh yeah and the beer.




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Rudoublesedoublel
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Kentucky - Home of the 8 time NCAA Champ Wildcats

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.26
Congratulations.

I agree with every married man who has already posted in this thread.

Remember you're getting married because you love each other - you may have to repeat that over and over every once in a while, but remember that.

Also remember that it's okay to agree to disagree with her.



University of Kentucky basketball isn't a matter of life and death, it's much more important than that.
Mike Zeidler
Pepperoni








Since: 27.6.02
From: Champaign, IL

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.10
    Originally posted by The King of Keith
    Now, wedding planning. Any advice?


Elope, pay off student loans/put a nice down payment on a house/buy a new car (pick one) with the money you won't waste on the ceremony.

$25 in IL when I got married, and my wife graduated with no student loans to pay back, while I paid off my car.

Also, who needs the stress?



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Tenken347
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Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.57
Man, you guys are real downers. I'm in the middle of helping to plan my own wedding right now, and I'm taking an active hand in it. Of course, there are plenty of things I don't have any opinions about, and I let my fiance know about those in advance. The things I do care about, which was primarily the venue and the caterer, I took the lead in contacting companies and making appointments, and because her mother isn't involved in the proceedings and my mother is out of state, I wound up giving my opinion on the dress, too. My one major piece of advice is to make sure that absolutely everything you do gets written down. Every rep you talk to, every food item you taste, every piece of clothing that gets tried on. Write it all down and keep it in a book somewhere. Then you'll have a full record when it comes time to make the final decisions.
wmatistic
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Since: 2.2.04
From: Austin, TX

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08
Agree with writing everything down, and also make sure you plan way, way, way in advance. Do everything you can as early as you can. Early preparation makes for a lot less stress come close to wedding time, and they'll be enough to go around anyway.

Also, definitely let her make every decision. Don't even pretend to make one. If you pick something, and it turns out bad or sucks, you get the blame and you don't want to be in the firing line of a stressed out bride. Best to let her pick it then she can only be depressed about her own choice. Sad I know, but trust us.

Know it will not go perfectly. It's a lightening strike if it does. Something will go wrong, so just be prepared. That's where the early planning and writing things down helps.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 250 days
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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.62

Be ready to act as a buffer between your parent's (read MOM's) wishes for the wedding and your bride-to-be's.

Because they will be different.



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Since: 20.6.02
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.33
When I was previously engaged, I had but one request to my finacee, who was gung ho in her wedding planning: please give me something to do in regard to the wedding that is my responsibility. The wedding, for the most part, is a showcase for the bride...but it's your day, too.

My then-fiancee gave me the responsibility to set up the reception. That kept me busy and kept me happy...and better yet: out of her hair.



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samoflange
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Since: 22.2.04
From: Cambridge, MA

Since last post: 287 days
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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.30
It sounds like all the women in your lives are nuts!

I can totally see the appeal of big elaborate weddings, but my girlfriend and I just don't think that way. Probably the only reason we would even get married is for financial reasons, and if we do it will be a 30 minute affair at the local courthouse. We can throw a giant party anytime we want and we don't even have to wear funny clothes. Though it would be nice to smear cake all over her face and not have her kick me in the shin.



Ken Kennedy debuted a new finisher: Jeff Hardy fans will insist on calling it the Swanton Bomb, but it looks WAY more devastating when not performed by a 180-pound fruitcake.
-Rick Scaia 06.12.2006
DrDirt
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Since: 8.10.03
From: flyover country

Since last post: 8 hours
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.73
    Originally posted by samoflange
    It sounds like all the women in your lives are nuts!

    I can totally see the appeal of big elaborate weddings, but my girlfriend and I just don't think that way. Probably the only reason we would even get married is for financial reasons, and if we do it will be a 30 minute affair at the local courthouse. We can throw a giant party anytime we want and we don't even have to wear funny clothes. Though it would be nice to smear cake all over her face and not have her kick me in the shin.


Print your post and put it somewhere. If you ever get married, pull it out after the event. The women in most of our lives were closer to girls as we were closer to boys then men and women. Not nuts just stressed. ANd whatever you do, don't get married for financial reasons. If what you have is working let it the way it is. Almost all of our friends who lived together and then got married are divorced for whatever reason. Those that just continued living together are pretty much still together.



Perception is reality
pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.30


And don't smush cake in the face of the bride. Never. Nope. I did not and I am glad I did not. Every time we attend a wedding or watch a funny home video clip, the topic comes up. If you think so little of your new bride that you would smash cake in her face on the first day of your marriage, you probably won't be married too long. She will never forget.




CRZ had to edit my profile and close my table for me. I am a bad man.
The King of Keith
Lap cheong








Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

Since last post: 229 days
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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.98
    Originally posted by pieman
    And don't smush cake in the face of the bride. Never. Nope. I did not and I am glad I did not. Every time we attend a wedding or watch a funny home video clip, the topic comes up. If you think so little of your new bride that you would smash cake in her face on the first day of your marriage, you probably won't be married too long. She will never forget.


I've already been warned.



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The Guinness.
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Since: 24.4.05
From: San Diego, CA

Since last post: 11 days
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.08
    Originally posted by The King of Keith
      Originally posted by pieman
      And don't smush cake in the face of the bride. Never. Nope. I did not and I am glad I did not. Every time we attend a wedding or watch a funny home video clip, the topic comes up. If you think so little of your new bride that you would smash cake in her face on the first day of your marriage, you probably won't be married too long. She will never forget.


    I've already been warned.


There is nothing wrong with the cake smashing. The catch is you have to let her do it first and avoid getting competitive. My wife got me good. I got her back but not as good. I went in for a second attack....then I heard two of my friends plead...."let her win!" I hesitated then got another helping of the cake up my nose. If it happens I do recommend being consciously carefully. You don't want to ruin her dress or mess up her makeup. Then you might get exactly what Pieman mentioned.

Also, I really don't mean to speak for everybody on this. We are not telling you to NOT participate in the wedding planning. We are merely suggesting that you let your fiance take the reins and delegate responsibility. If you don't help out all, you will find that you are in a losing battle too. Good luck!



"In Soviet Russia, site fucks you." - drjayphd

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