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The Vile1
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Since: 4.9.02
From: California

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
au-tuer: A filmmaker, usually a director, who exercises creative control over his or her works and has a strong personal style.


I decided to dedicate this section to auteur filmmakers specifically. These are films coming out this year by directors and filmmakers known for their unique styles which can equate to brilliance or disgust and pretention, for better or worse.

DOGVILLE-March 26th (limited release)

Directed by Lars von Trier
This is a new film by Danish filmmaker von Trier, probably most well known for his film Dogme 95. This film centers on a woman named Grace (Nicole Kidman) who is on the run from the mob and takes refuge in a town called Dogville. I'm not very knowledgeable of von Trier's work, but this film does look very..."artsy" :). FYI, this film will be premiering at the South By Southwest Film Festival in Austin, TX. in about 2 months.

THE LADYKILLERS-March 26th

Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen
The Coen brothers followup with their mainstream flop that was Intolerable Cruelty here with a remake of a 1955 film of the same name. Tom Hanks plays a fake professor named Dorr and organizes a group of expert criminals for a huge heist. From the description and trailer of this film, it looks like it will be a lot more fun like O Brother Where Art Thou instead of a lame romantic comedy like Intolerable Cruelty. Still not sure about the casting of Marlon Waynes as the "Inside Man."

KILL BILL VOLUME II-April 16th

Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Tarantino's next installment for Kill Bill, who's release date was recently pushed back from February 20th to April 16th. Tarantino fans shouldn't be too upset about waiting another two months, for them it means that the film they get to see probably won't be a rush job. There have also been rumors lately that Tarantino and Production IG will begin work on an anime feature of Kill Bill that will be a prequel to Volume I and II.

THE BROTHERS GRIMM-?

Directed by Terry Gilliam
Looks like Gilliam finally has a film coming out after that whole Jon Quixote fiasco which was documented in the film Lost In La Mancha. Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play the respective siblings, Will and Jake Grimm, basically charlatan ghostbusters and con artists who are called upon by the French government to vanquish a real supernatural threat. That threat most likely being the incredibly sexy, Monica Bellucci. Good to see Gilliam finally has a film coming out after a six year hiatus, and this one looks to be more back to form to his fantasy roots. But I do wonder if he was able to get a good performance out of Heath Ledger.

FARENHEIT 9/11-September

Directed by Michael Moore
Well well well, things have finally come full circle haven't they? After all this time, Michael Moore shows his true color. And what is that color? That color is green baby. This new documentary Moore is producing is being produced and distributed by Miramax, a subsidiary of a giant, evil corporation called...DISNEY! Looks like Moore is working for the man now, and why? Because despite his socialist views and values, he likes money just like everybody else. To those who are wondering, in this film Moore will examine the US post 9/11 and how the Bush adiministration used the tragedy to advance their agendas.

ALEXANDER-November 5th

Directed by Oliver Stone
This looks to be Stone's first narrative feature in about five years. This film will also probably be the first of 2 big Hollywood epic films about the great conqueror Alexander the Great, the latter of which is being helmed by Baz Luhrmann featuring Leonardo DiCaprio. Alexander has Colin Farrell as the title bisexual conqueror who mysteriously died in his early 30's but not before taking over most of the eastern hemisphere.

THE AVIATOR-December 17th

Directed by Martin Scorcese
Scorcese follows up the mixed feelings of Gangs of New York with this biopic of Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio). At a young age Hughes became a billionaire oil tycoon as well as a powerful Hollywood movie producer, and aviation designer. This film will also feature Kate Blanchett as actress, Katharine Hepburn. Looks like this film will be another coming out during Oscar season for Scorcese and Miramax. Lately, I'm not very big on Scorcese films or modern biopics for that matter. I also think a better actor could've been cast in the Hughes role. DiCaprio as Hughes just seems so...obligatory...or not really inspired I should say. The script for this film was written by John Logan, who's most recent credit was I think The Last Samurai.

Very interesting crop of "auteur" films here. If I missed any auteurs who have films coming out this year, feel free to discuss.



(edited by The Vile1 on 15.1.04 1901)


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Since: 4.11.02
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
I wish Lars Von Trier would dig a hole somewhere, jump in it, and bury himself alive. How pretentious can one director be? I nearly vomitted during Dancer in the Dark. If someone had shot Bjork halfway thru instead of making us have to suffer by watching this dreg, the world would be a happier place. Dogville doesn't sound any better, apparently. It's all done on a single set, like a play. BAH.



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Since: 3.1.02
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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
Hey, who the hell can forget about Kevin Smith's first non-Askewniverse film Jersey Girl. If anybody saw Chasing Amy, arguably Smith's finest work, that's the tone to expect. It's all about a guy [Ben Affleck] who suddenly finds himself raising a little girl on his own, with occational help from his dad [George Carlin]. J.Lo's in it slightly, and Liv Tyler also stars. The trailer looked awesome.



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The Vile1
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Since: 4.9.02
From: California

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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.07
Thanks Freeway 420, I completely forgot about Smith's Jersey Girl. Though I'm really not sure if I would classify him as an auteur filmmaker yet since his films don't really have a consistent unique style...unless you want to count gay and BJ jokes... :). I'll probably include it in the comedy section when I get to that next. To those who are wondering, Jersey Girl comes out March 19th.

(edited by The Vile1 on 15.1.04 1745)



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Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44

    Originally posted by The Vile1
    This looks to be Stone's first narrative feature in about five years. This film will also probably be the first of 2 big Hollywood epic films about the great conqueror Alexander the Great, the latter of which is being helmed by Baz Luhrmann featuring Leonardo DiCaprio. Alexander has Colin Farrell as the title bisexual conqueror who mysteriously died in his early 30's but not before taking over most of the western hemisphere.


I imagine Stone's will be the one that will be devoid of facts, and the one that somehow blames the future United States for Alexander's death?

And because I've had a LOT of diet coke today: from Merriam-Webster's:

Main Entry: western hemisphere
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized W&H
Date: 1624
: the half of the earth comprising No. and So. America and surrounding waters




(edited by Eddie Famous on 15.1.04 1804)


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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.48
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    I imagine Stone's will be the one that will be devoid of facts, and the one that somehow blames the future United States for Alexander's death?


And, I imagine Luhrmann's will have lots of blithering dialogue and some flashy musical numbers.



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Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
Actually, Luhrman's version of Alexander has been shelved, the last I heard, due to budget problems. It might never come off, especially since Stone's film will get out first.

My quick, relatively non-informed opinions about all of these films...

Dogville: Lars Von Trier is a worthless filmmaker. Get ready for lots of movie critic headlines along the lines of 'This One Is A Real Dog.'
Ladykillers: The plot of this one seems a lot more 'Coen' than Intolerable Cruelty was. Hanks is always more fun as a somewhat shady guy (i.e. League of Their Own) than he is as a bland nice guy.
Kill Bill II: If it's anything like the first one, this is going to kick ass
Brothers Grimm: Gilliam's track record is pretty sketchy, but this concept seems interesting, and Matt Damon's anti-crap radar is usually pretty reliable (unlike his buddy Affleck's)
Fahrenheit 911: Typical Michael Moore stuff.
Alexander: Who knows. Oliver Stone has no middle ground between 'classic' and 'overdirected, pretentious crap.' He hasn't hit that classic level in over a decade, however, so this movie will make or break the rest of his career.
Aviator: I've got a feeling that this is going to be REALLY good, as Scorsese will be looking to redeem himself after the slightly disappointing Gangs Of New York. I'm going to go out on a limb and call this the favourite for Best Picture of 2004, with Scorsese finally getting his Oscar and maybe Cate Blanchett getting a Best Supporting Actress award (as Kate Hepburn).



Rob asks Dave and Ric if they want to go backstage to play Hungry Hungry Hippos and Flair and Batista immediately bail. Flair wants to be Green. Man, EVERYBODY wants to be green. Except the girl in the commercials. She wanted to be pink. That either means that the ad agency was sexist or that she was communist. Of course Hungry Hungry Hippos is a rather capitalist game isnt it? No self respecting communist would play Hungry Hungry Hippos. Except Stalin. He LOVED Hungry Hungry Hippos. God, Ive got no clue what the hell Im rambling about anymore.-- Matt "Excalibur05" Hocking, Raw Satire writer extraordinaire

You know, I just can't call it the "WWE." I just can't. My body's rejecting it like a bad liver transplant.-- Bill Simmons, espn.com/page2
The Vile1
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Since: 4.9.02
From: California

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.07
TICKLE ME ELMO


This next section is dedicated to comedies of all sorts being released this year.

THE PERFECT SCORE-January 30th

Directed by Brian Robbins
From the director of the WCW movie, READY TO RUMBLE, as well as Varsity Blues and Good Burger, is The Perfect Score. TPS is a comedy about a bunch of high school kids struggling with their SAT's and they try to cheat it. Man, the SAT's weren't [italic]THAT[/italic] bad. You know Scarlett Johannson is in this one? She's very pretty, she's 18 too...so drool away.

EUROTRIP-February 20th

Directed by Alec Berg, David Mandel, and Jeff Scheffer
This film features a bunch of unknowns, except for Michelle Trachtenberg I think I know who she is, about a group of teens who travel to Europe and have comical adventures there. I don't really care about this film, but I'll bet the farm that this next one is really good...

CLUB DREAD-February 27th

Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar
This is the third film by the Broken Lizard comedy troupe (note: Check out their last two films, Super Troopers and Puddle Cruisers) which features the group as a tropical island hotel staff that has to deal with a ridiculously dressed serial killer. It looks like Chandrasekhar plays the oddball, quirky character this time and Kevin Heffernan (Rodney Favre in Super Troopers) playing more of a straight character. I think Super Troopers was a hilarious overlooked gem in 2002, that did fairly well at the BO due to its dirt cheap budget. I expect this movie to be a lot of fun as well.

STARSKY AND HUTCH-March 5th

Directed by Todd Phillips
Frequent collaborators Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson team-up once again for this retro comedic-adaptation of the 1970's TV series. Well for starters, anyone remember the last time Owen Wilson co-starred in a comedy-film version of a popular DRAMATIC television series? I remember it sucking quite badly as well. I hate the way Hollywood just completely fudges with classic tv series and tries to make them something they are not, basically incredibly dumb silly comedies. If and when an A-team movie gets made, I hope it doesn't suffer the same fate.

CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON-March 12th

Directed By Kevin Allen
Well they got this sequel out pretty quick. Anyone care to comment? Never saw the first Cody Banks film, I'll probably refrain this time as well.

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR-March 12th

Directed by Luke Greenfield
The director of film turd THE ANIMAL brings you a comedy about a teenager who falls in love with porn star Kim Bauer, who moves in next door to him. While I'm no fan of the animal, this film looks like it could be kind of cute. So anyone else ever dream of living next door to a porn star and falling in love with them? Ever?

JERSEY GIRL-March 19th

Directed by Kevin Smith
This will be Kevin Smith's first non-View Askew universe film, or his first film with the Jay and Silent Bob characters. Smith-staple Ben Affleck plays a Ollie Trinke, trying to cope with the loss of his wife (Jennifer Lopez, or as Eric Cartman says the ho with the big ass) and being a single parent. Later on he gets to romance the newly widowed Arwen Evenstar (Liv Tyler), trying to cope with the loss of Aragorn of course ;-). I think the release of this film will be very interesting, especially after all the delays and controversy because Gigli. Affleck's been in a slump lately, and his films last year were rather poor. I also wonder how Smith REALLY feels about Gigli after last year when he came out said it was great and hilarious, and the rumors of it sucking were bogus.

SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED-March 26th

Directed by Raja Gosnell
Time for another groovy mystery with the entire original cast from the first movie back for another go of...of...whatever. I'll always have fond memories of the original cartoon, but these live action versions are just all wrong. And you can't go much worse than having Freddie Prinze Jr. as the lead. Kids will probably see this and drag their parents along again. But I ask you, when did Shaggy and Scooby ever fart or have farting matches in the cartoon? NEVER!

50 FIRST DATES

Directed by Peter Segal
Adam Sandler reteams with the Anger Management director for this odd romantic comedy featuring Sandler and Drew Barrymore, his co-star from The Wedding Singer. Taking a page from a plot device used in Memento and Dana Carvey's Clean Slate, 50 First Dates focuses on Henry Roth (Sandler) who must romance and get Lucy Whitmore (Barrymore) to fall in love with him everyday due to her short term memory loss. Probably another comedy I won't make any large effort to see.

This is all I really have time for right now. I think this is mainly for comedies in the first quarter of '04. Any I missed?



(edited by The Vile1 on 17.1.04 2227)


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Since: 9.1.02
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.72
I remember seeing the ad for "The Perfect Score" and thinking that it was fake. They couldn't possibly be making something that stupid, could they?

Sure they could!



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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
The pics are goofy.

You have Scooby-doo twice (for Girl Next Door, and Scooby-doo 2) and the pic for eurotrip is broken.

Just FYI

In a related note, it's being reported that Kill Bill V1 is coming out as a 2 DVD set 3 days before V2 is set to hit the big screen, so says Video Business Magazine.




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Since: 3.1.02
From: GA in person, NJ in heart

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.03
If I ever kill myself, The Perfect Score will be referenced as a reason why in my suicide note.

Michelle Trachtenburg played Dawn Summers (Buffy's sister) on Buffy: the Vampire Slayer.




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Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.33
The Trailer for Eurotrip and Club Dread both played when I went to see 21 Grams (odd pairing of trailers and movie). Both looked really, really good. But, I find humor in the strangest places, so I shouldnt really be a barometer.

However, Eurotrip is from the producers of Road Trip and Old School, so that should account for something.
The King of Keith
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Since: 4.11.02
From: Winchester, VA

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
Ack, I saw the trailer for Jersey Girl and it looked GOD AWFUL. I mean, they played a freaking TRAIN song over it!! I'll still give it a chance because of being a Kevin Smith film, but it ain't looking too good.

Eurotrip has my man Fred Armisen all over the trailer. So, yeah, I'll definitely see that.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 can't get here soon enough.



Please God...

...let it happen again
Big Bad
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Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
Is it just me, or is Michelle Trachtenberg showing way too much cleavage on that poster? She's 17, for God's sake.

Club Dread is going to be hilarious, and Starsky & Hutch has the potential to reach Zoolander or Old School levels of hilarity. Stiller! Wilson! Vaughn! Ferrell! Snoop! Is there any way this movie won't be funny??

Another comedy to watch for is Anchorman, a VERY loosely adapted story of the first female news reporter in San Diego, set in the 1970's. Stars the immortal Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Vince Vaughn and Paul Rudd.



Rob asks Dave and Ric if they want to go backstage to play Hungry Hungry Hippos and Flair and Batista immediately bail. Flair wants to be Green. Man, EVERYBODY wants to be green. Except the girl in the commercials. She wanted to be pink. That either means that the ad agency was sexist or that she was communist. Of course Hungry Hungry Hippos is a rather capitalist game isnt it? No self respecting communist would play Hungry Hungry Hippos. Except Stalin. He LOVED Hungry Hungry Hippos. God, Ive got no clue what the hell Im rambling about anymore.-- Matt "Excalibur05" Hocking, Raw Satire writer extraordinaire

You know, I just can't call it the "WWE." I just can't. My body's rejecting it like a bad liver transplant.-- Bill Simmons, espn.com/page2
EddieBurkett
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Since: 3.1.02
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.11
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Is it just me, or is Michelle Trachtenberg showing way too much cleavage on that poster? She's 17, for God's sake.


Daddy like...

Oh. Oh! No! Daddy No, I wasn't When I was looking, I wasn't Oh, God!



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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.26
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Is it just me, or is Michelle Trachtenberg showing way too much cleavage on that poster? She's 17, for God's sake.


11 October 1985

So, she's 18, and perfectly old enough to be sexualized by her producers. And if you don't like that, you certainly won't like the scenes where she's taking off her top from the trailer.


(edited by Excalibur05 on 20.1.04 0340)


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Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
    Originally posted by Excalibur05
      Originally posted by Big Bad
      Is it just me, or is Michelle Trachtenberg showing way too much cleavage on that poster? She's 17, for God's sake.


    11 October 1985

    So, she's 18, and perfectly old enough to be sexualized by her producers. And if you don't like that, you certainly won't like the scenes where she's taking off her top from the trailer.


    (edited by Excalibur05 on 20.1.04 0340)


I have got to see this trailer.

(edited by Freeway420 on 20.1.04 1406)


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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Brothers Grimm: Gilliam's track record is pretty sketchy


What's sketchy about it? The Python films, Jabberwocky, Time Bandits (an absolute joy), Brazil (a classic), The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (a work of art), the Fisher King, 12 Monkeys, and about as good an attempt at Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas as anyone could make. Other than Jabberwocky, it's a rock-solid body of work.






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Since: 9.12.01
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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65
    Originally posted by Freeway420
    I have got to see this trailer.
Oh boy! From the makers of "Road Trip" and "Old School!" Oh boy!

(Nah)



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Since: 23.1.02
From: Phoenix, AZ

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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.42
    Originally posted by Freeway420
    I have got to see this trailer.


Ewwwww. I'm not really a fan of the malnourished child look. But if you like looking at her ribcage, that trailer rocks!

-Jag



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