Swagger. I so want to call that Orton wins without getting the title, except that there doesn't seem to be a way for that to happen in an Extreme Rules match. (And, hey, it wouldn't be unprecedented for them to make it happen anyway.) So I'll say Swagger, but in a way that doesn't make him look good.
Cena. They just took Batista's movie away from him; they're not going to give him the title over Cena.
Sheamus. Probably with help from the Straight Edge Society, thus setting up the HHH/Punk feud that was foreshadowed by the goings-on Monday night.
Punk. When they first set this up, I was thinking it was Punk's hair vs. Rey joining the SES. Weird that they had one thing on the line one match and the other on the line in the other; it only makes sense if they don't intend to pay off either.
JTG. Hey, at least they're blowing off the end of Cryme Time on a PPV. I'm assuming they'll end up on different shows, so you may as well put the face over. I'm also assuming they'll get nowhere as solo acts.
Michelle. I'm thinking the "Extreme Makeover" match lends itself to the heel getting the upper hand and doing mean things to the face, especially since that fits Michelle's character. Beth can get the win back in a real match later.
Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton, World Heavyweight Championship, Extreme Rules Match: It's WAAAAAY too early to pull the plug on the Swagger experiment. I think Swagger ekes out a win and Orton gets drafted to keep the feud going.
John Cena vs. Batista, Last Man Standing Match: The rumors seem to suggest that Big Dave could be seeing his final days in the E. Regardless, I don't see him winning, because a Batista win would mean YET ANOTHER round of hot shotting the belt, so I don't see it. Cena wins and we get Round 3 (Hell in a Cell) next month.
Edge vs. Chris Jericho, Steel Cage Match: I remember hearing that Edge may have been hurt legit last Monday. If that's the case, I see Jericho winning to blow off this feud and move him onto the title picture with Swagger and Orton.
Triple H vs. Sheamus, Street Fight: This feud needs to get blown off, because it's doing neither guy any favors. Triple H wins and Sheamus gets drafted.
Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk: If Punk loses, he must get his head shaved: As hot as this feud was, this feels too anti-climactic to be the big blowoff. Punk wins via chicanery to push this feud even further.
Shad Gaspard vs. JTG, Strap Match: You've got a big lug with middling talent and a small guy who could be awesome. Who do YOU think the E's pushing? Shad wins decisively and JTG fills the void left by Yang and Slam Master J.
Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix, Women's Championship, Extreme Makeover Match: Beth wins the title, but the feud continues next week.
But if the money was good, I bet the hulkster would have jumped on the plane. He must have worked on his birthday many times before, or maybe he now realises that at this stage off his career that family and health come first.