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The W - Video Games - EWR 3.0 is now available~! (Page 2)
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Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 4 days
AIM:  
#21 Posted on
For shits and giggles, I present to you a month in the life of Extreme Warfare: Satire.

Week 1, May
1. Cancelled Smackdown
2. Made Gap, Sprite, Sketchers Official WWE Sponsors
3. Renamed Training Camp “The Chicken Parade” Renamed Ohio Valley Wrestling “Ohio Sucks”, and placed Johnny Ace in charge. 1..2..Johnny Ace!
4. Made the top three feuds in the company:
-Dreamer v. Maven
-Hurricane v. Eric Bischoff
-Goldberg v Rosie
5. Fired “Chris Benoit”
6. Fired “Kurt Angle”
7. Tommy Dreamer sends me an e-mail “Thank you for pushing me to the main event! I will not let you down.
8. The Writers tell me that “Jeff Hardy’s gimmick isn’t really working”. New Gimmick: Evil Pimp Jeff Hardy”
9. Sophie tells me in an e-mail that our product isn’t risky enough to do Jeff’s new Evil Pimp Gimmick justice.
10. Raised Risk Level from 66 to 96
11. Cancelled Velocity
12. Heat!
1. Rico defeated Brock Lesner clean via a Leg Lariot
-Scott Keith loved it.
2. 10 Man Battle Royal Special “Winner Gets Fired” match.
-Winner: Big Show
3. A Special Video Package dedicated to the career of Kevin Nash, the crowd popped. Expect more Coach Nash in the future. A lot more.
4. Rob Van Dam d. Al Snow
5. Shawn Michaels and Scott Steiner fight to a time limit draw…for no reason.
6. Stacy Keibler d. that no good Cheating Test.
7. Sent Steve Austin out to ramble. Says “What?” Scott Keith asks “Is that the best thing they could think of to fill a segment?” Yes.
8. Tommy Dreamer/Maven d. Triples H and Naitch
-HHH lost 1 point of overness. The baby.
Show Analysis: Needed more Kane
13. Everybody loves “Evil Pimp” Jeff Hardy
14. Coke ended their sponsorship of the show “Do to risky nature”. Wussies.
15. MTV wasn’t happy either. Sure, “Bikini Break Party Girls” is ok, but I debut “Evil Pimp” Jeff Hardy, and they go wild? Wussies.
16. Fired Big Show

Week Two:

RAW!

1. Jeff Hardy asks Trish out. Is rejected.
2. Kane and RVD sucessfully defended their Tag Team Titles when they beat The Chief and Lance Storm.
3. Coach Nash made his triumphal return to the WWE by beating Booker T.
4. Al Snow has a celebration ceremony to celebrate being on RAW.
5. Jeff Hardy asks Trish out. Is rejected.
6. “The King Of Barbed Wire” Stevie Richards d. Shawn Michaels (in a Barbed Wire Match)
7. Victoria d. Jazz in a “No Faces allowed” match
8. Paul Heyman awards the WWE Intecontinental title to Rosie
9. Oh no! Jazz has interrupted Steve Austin’s wedding with Molly Holly. Punch will be served in the concession area after the event.
10. The Hurricane pins Scott Steiner, to win a Four Way Dance (also featuring Goldberg and The Rock)
11. Tommy Dreamer d. HHH for the World Heavyweight Title shattering the glass ceiling and causing children around the world to burst in to jubilant song. Scott Keith, not as enthusiastic
Show Analysis: It’s a new day for WCW!!!
3. “Road Agent” tells me that I’m pushing Goldberg too much. Tell me about it.
4. TNN too is unhappy with the risky nature of my show. Not everything can be Star Trek and Roger Moore, you know.
5. Raw scores a 5.82. Awesome.
6. I decide to rename “Judgement Day” HHH SuX0rz to get the elusive “Smark” buy.
7. I depush Goldberg to the Upper Midcard
8. Goldberg e-mails me to tell me that that was the right thing to do. Huh?
9. Smackdown is cancelled again to make room for a special two hour “The Parkers”
10. I make a smiley face emoticon in my notepad and then “Make Bold”
11. Velocity occurs. Main event: Funaki v. Bill Demott. HUGE match. I can’t believe I’m giving it away on Free TV. Can’t be bothered to write down rest of card.
12. Velocity scores a 5.47. Oh man. I’m kicking myself about that match now.
13. Heat is cancelled. MTV wanted to show two back to back episodes of “Biker Mice From Mars”

Week 3!!

1. RAW!!

1. Rob Van Dam and Kane d. Chrises Jericho and Tian
2. The show needs a little MORE Kane, so here he is WALKING
3. Shawn Michaels dances over the fallen body of Chris Nowinski
4. Eric Bischoff announces that he’s stolen Funaki from Smackdown
5. Jeff Hardy asks Trish out. Is rejected.
6. Stacy Keibler is found backstage on the floor. Who did it? First suspect: Captain Morgan.
7. Scott Steiner and Goldberg wrestle to a time limit draw.
8. Test and Booker T. d. Chris Jericho and HHH when Test Big Boots HHH.
9. Jeff Hardy tries to save Trish from Rico. Is beaten.
10. Maven and Steve Austin d. The Rock and Lita when Maven pins himself.
11. Tommy Dreamer arrives at the building
Show Analysis: Highlight of the show was Kane walking.

2. RAW Scores a 5.45 rating. It’s Rock’s fault.
3. TNN asks again if I would please tone down the nature of my show.
4. Gave in and changed risk level from 96 to 95
5. Smackdown cancelled, Dog Show run instead.
6. Sophie tells me that we’ve fallen to “National” level. There goes my big plans for Insurexxion.
7. The writers tell me that Booker T’s gimmick isn’t working. Booker’s new gimmick: Bumbling Englishman. Tim Curry, look out!
8. Booker T e-mails to tell me that he doesn’t think this new gimmick is a good idea. Shut up and do what you’re told, Booker.
9. Rosie has sustained an injury! Oh no!
10. Whew. Only out one month. You had me worried there, jobber.
11. I use the Auto Booker, much to my delight. Velocity is booked by Lance Storm
12. Velocity scores a 5.27. I love you Lance Storm.
13. I’m gonna autobook Heat too!
14. Dean Malenko’s Heat scores a 4.61.
15. MTV and UPN drop Heat and Smackdown. Pricks. Decide to run infomercials for penis enlargement in their place. Ratings stay about the same.
16. TNN drops Velocity. But…But…Lance Storm was doing such a good job!
17. Could RAW be next on the chopping block?

Week 4:

RAW!!

1. The show begins with a tearful Tommy Dreamer wishing all his WWE fans a farewell, if indeed TNN does axe the show.
2. Molly Strips Torrie to her underwear.
3. Kane d. Lance Storm. Book Velocity my ass, Storm.
4. Kane d. William Regal (Dean Malenko was not available)
5. The Hurricane d. The Chief in a submission match. Booyah.
6. Jeff asks Trish on a date. Is rejected.
7. Kevin Nash beats Goldberg. Goldberg eats a bagel.
8. Maven d. Triple H. After the Match, Triple Naitch attacks both men. Oh well, Maven got his job back.
9. Stacy Keibler accidently walks in on Rob Van Dan and Stephanie groping each other. Oops. Wrong room.
10. Funaki d. Stone Cold Steve Austin cleanly. Funaki is taking RAW by storm.
11. Tommy Dreamer wins a 10 man battle Royal to retain the WWE World Title. Tommy Dreamer is a badass.
Show Analysis: Whoops forgot to debut Booker T’s new gimmick. Next week, maybe.

2. Raw scores an AWESOME 5.49. Attendance was 4,020. I hope they all bought a T-Shirt.
3. We’ve risen back to Global Level. Hamburg, here I come!
4. This is boring without shows to cancel.
5. Test needs a new gimmick…wait…Test HAS a gimmick?
6. Test is now a “Boy Band Member”. Work those hips, Test.
7. Uh Oh. The PPV is coming up!
8. I realize that I haven’t even touched my feuds. Oops.

WWE Judgement Day

Your announcers are Jonathan Coachman and Funaki

Dark Match: Rob Van Dam beat Spike Dudley. He’ll never work another PPV.
1. Stevie Richards arrives at the building.
2. Desire: Kevin Nash (“You know. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I have a desire for pancakes. “My Sacrifiiiiice” Is that the kind of thing you’re looking for? “When you are with MEEEE” More? Uh…I desire booze. “I feel so careless” Can we stop now?)
3. Lance Storm d. Scott Steiner by count out when Steiner saw some pretty lights in the entryway and never made it to the ring.
4. The Undertaker d. A-Train in an Iron Man Match
5. Chris Jericho and Chris Tian d. Shawn Michaels. Clique THIS biatch.
6. Funaki pulls double Duty to defeat HHH in a ladder match. At the top of the latter? The Book. Funaki gets to book Raw for the next 8 weeks.
7. Steve Austin goes on strike.
9. Tommy Dreamer d. Maven to end their feud and keep the World Title.
Show Analysis: Match of the night awards go to Undertaker/Albert obviously

2. Raw is cancelled.
3. HHH SuX0rz got a 1.04 buyrate. Man, I’m awesome.
4. Funaki is whining that he should be higher on the card. You’re not even ON Raw, biatch.
5. Maven and Tommy Dreamer both say that the feud hurt their careers. Well…that was HHH’s fault.
6. I send out a highlight reel (featuring Undertaker/Albert, Funaki, and Stevie Richards Arriving) to the Playboy network in hopes that Hef can pull a few strings for us. If not, Jazz will have to hold up a “Will job for change” sign outside Titan Towers.

Week 5!!

1. Still no word. Come on Hef! I’ll let Paul Heyman be in PlayGirl.
2. Maybe he wants Spike
3. It’s the end of the month. I’m without a TV show, still.
4. I’ve learned that Rob Conway is sad about being stuck in Ohio Sucks. Get in line, sister.
5. The Playboy channel rejected me. I feel rejected. I think Evil Pimp Jeff Hardy would have fit in well there. Maybe I’ll just send him in and have him blow more than some spots, if you know what I mean.






Satire 03/31/03 (wienerboard.com) <- No kidding, right?
Buffy 7.17 gets a 7.87 So...Spike and Wood have Oedipus complexes...riiiiight...
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 8 hours
AIM:  
#22 Posted on
Man I love all the possiblities in this game. I'm running my own WWE right now. Unfortunately the Randy Savage vs. Lance Storm feud I started isn't work out but I did get huge reaction out of my Ultimo Dragon vs. The Rock Ladder Match, which Ultimo Dragon won cleanly (and Rock didn't complain either.)

I gave RVD the title for a short time and A) ratings plummeted and B) everybody complained becuase they were getting injured. I guess that explains it, WWE has played this game.

My advice to Shinstrife on your roster. If there's people you don't want get rid of them, if you want everybody you have then keep them. I have 115 people on my roster and there hasn't been any problems really. High payroll i'm sure but the WWE can afford it. And I haven't had many problems with people complaining about not getting enough time. I only have 3 people (Big Show, Steiner and Goldust) complaining because of airtime.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
kazhayashi81
Potato korv








Since: 17.6.02
From: Buenos Aires, Argentina

Since last post: 2700 days
Last activity: 2650 days
AIM:  
#23 Posted on
UNITED WE STAND

I started a new WCW, got Nitro's old TNT spot back, and we're kicking WWE's ass ratings wise, but they still beat us buyrate wise.

World Champ: Ken Shamrock(d. Kevin Nash)
United States Champ: Rick Steiner(d. Masato Tanaka)
Cruiserweight Champ: Ultimo Dragon(d. Brian Kendrick)
World Tag Team Champs: General Batista & Sargeant Bradley(d. A-Train & Big Show)





"The time for debate is really beforehand. Obviously history will speak on whether this was the right thing or the wrong thing, but right now (the soldiers) are out there. Support 'em. There's plenty of time for commentary later."
-David Robinson
MARTYEWR
Kishke








Since: 15.10.02

Since last post: 291 days
Last activity: 291 days
#24 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
For shits and giggles, Matt???? That EWR satire was so hilarious and made me laugh out loud at work so much that people here were wondering what the hell was wrong with me! Great job, man, and a hell of an imaginative mind.

*is still laughing at "Evil Pimp Jeff Hardy"*

BTW, even I didn't even realize Sophie will let you know if a certain gimmick doesn't work due to risk factor and stuff. See, even I'm learning the odd thing here and there! :-)

(edited by MARTYEWR on 4.4.03 1013)









Wiener Of The Day: Tuesday, March 4, 2003

Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 450 days
Last activity: 411 days
#25 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44
Triple H vetoed the "Geek" gimmick I tried to give him. I guess I'm going to have to job him out until he leaves.



NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.

MARTYEWR
Kishke








Since: 15.10.02

Since last post: 291 days
Last activity: 291 days
#26 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
I remember in my last 2.0 game, I sent HHH down to OVW, then called him back up. His morale right then dropped 10 percentage points. A combination of the roster split factor (upper guys losing morale if only on one show) plus constantly jobbing HHH cleanly to Undertaker in a feud, resulted in HHH's morale being 25%!

And then Adam sent me the first 3.0 beta...










Wiener Of The Day: Tuesday, March 4, 2003

Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 303 days
Last activity: 20 hours
#27 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
Well, I made my ALL-TIME favorite tag team by combining the underused Scotty 2 Hotty and the Hurricane into...THE HOTTY-CANE! Mighty Molly completes that little stable, at least until Nova comes up.



Blue Jays: 0-3

Flames: 27-36-12-4
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 4 days
AIM:  
#28 Posted on

    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    Triple H vetoed the "Geek" gimmick I tried to give him. I guess I'm going to have to job him out until he leaves.


Just do what I do:

Push him down to Opener status, truck him to OVW, and ask him if he wants his release. A main-eventer will almost always lose enough morale that they'll take their out at that point.

One thing I just noticed that was kind of funny, was that I'd planned to set Shawn Michaels up with a "Dancer" gimmick to go with his "Dancin' Prayer Warrior" style, but Shawn used his creative control clause to block it. I thought that was neat.

Marty, I'm glad you liked the little set-up. More if I ever get around to it. Too busy playing the "actual" game right now. (If the game is any indication, Goldberg/Rock is not exactly going to set the world on fire, as a feud OR a match)



Satire 03/31/03 (wienerboard.com) <- No kidding, right?
Buffy 7.17 gets a 7.87 So...Spike and Wood have Oedipus complexes...riiiiight...
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 8 hours
AIM:  
#29 Posted on

    Originally posted by Excalibur05

      Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
      Triple H vetoed the "Geek" gimmick I tried to give him. I guess I'm going to have to job him out until he leaves.


    Just do what I do:

    Push him down to Opener status, truck him to OVW, and ask him if he wants his release. A main-eventer will almost always lose enough morale that they'll take their out at that point.

    One thing I just noticed that was kind of funny, was that I'd planned to set Shawn Michaels up with a "Dancer" gimmick to go with his "Dancin' Prayer Warrior" style, but Shawn used his creative control clause to block it. I thought that was neat.

    Marty, I'm glad you liked the little set-up. More if I ever get around to it. Too busy playing the "actual" game right now. (If the game is any indication, Goldberg/Rock is not exactly going to set the world on fire, as a feud OR a match)



I haven't tried Goldberg/Rock yet but I am currently running Goldberg/Jericho and it's been by far the best feud i've had so far. So that's where the big money feud is at.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 450 days
Last activity: 411 days
#30 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44
I've only done like a week of the game, and I've already had to fire Sable and Shannon Moore. Shannon, apparently, is a drunk, and he went into rehab. Sable is just lazy. She showed up *way* late for a show. Oh, and I fired Dawn Marie because she was no-selling in a match. She ended up in TNA.



NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Jakegnosis
Morcilla








Since: 26.7.02
From: Maine

Since last post: 2859 days
Last activity: 2844 days
#31 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.91
Are they going to make a Mac version of this game?

I'm drooling for it.



Moo hoo ha ha.

Rangers lead the way
waffleking
Pickled pork








Since: 2.10.02
From: Missouri

Since last post: 2826 days
Last activity: 516 days
#32 Posted on
Extreme Warfare: Satire

Most hilarious post... ever... period.

Thank you Excalibur05



Quoth the Norman Darter, "Well Forevermore!"
Lexus
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
AIM:  
#33 Posted on
The coyote goes...
Be Warned...

I was the jerk on GoldenEye who shot all the scientists REGARDLESS of whether the level had been beaten. I kill my commanders on Halo, shoot down the rest of my own squadron in any flight sim, and I'll spend an entire match in any current wrestling game (Raw excluded) beating the living shit out of the ref. I ate the stuff that makes you throw up in Rampage (the original, screw the new ones), and I drown my Sims, Link, and Mario at least twice each time I play. I have spent at least a year of my life on all 4 of the GTA games combined, mostly standing on street corners punching passers by. I am the gaming jerk, who does nothing else but screw around and annoy the shit out of people who really want to play.

Of course, after reading the satire, I am beyond enthusiastic of this game.

One question: Can I book somebody to actually dismember themselves on live TV?



I own a Gamecube, and I own Eternal Darkness.
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 4 days
AIM:  
#34 Posted on

    Originally posted by waffleking
    Extreme Warfare: Satire

    Most hilarious post... ever... period.

    Thank you Excalibur05



Thanks! You're more than welcome.

Lexus: Well, you can put them in matches where it's pretty much guarenteed that they will get hurt (ending a HiaC with a sick bump, for instance) and also some of the new angles end with Pillmanizing and Finger breaking.

Though, to get the most injury for your buck, the sick bumps are the way to go (though make sure you go into the editor and add "Sick Bump" to anyone that you think you might want to take out, because otherwise they'll bail on the spot).



Satire 03/31/03 (wienerboard.com) <- No kidding, right?
Buffy 7.17 gets a 7.87 So...Spike and Wood have Oedipus complexes...riiiiight...
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 450 days
Last activity: 411 days
#35 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44
Yeah, I should have known having a sick bump in a Women's Tag-Team Ladder match was a bad idea. Lita's out for 4 months with something or other.



NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Grimis
Scrapple








Since: 11.7.02
From: MD

Since last post: 1268 days
Last activity: 1065 days
#36 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.29

    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    Lita's out for 4 months with something or other.

Wow...so life-like!



MARTYEWR
Kishke








Since: 15.10.02

Since last post: 291 days
Last activity: 291 days
#37 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    Yeah, I should have known having a sick bump in a Women's Tag-Team Ladder match was a bad idea. Lita's out for 4 months with something or other.


Unless you edited her stats before you started playing, that's no big loss.










Wiener Of The Day: Tuesday, March 4, 2003

CANADIAN BULLDOG
Andouille








Since: 5.3.03
From: TORONTO

Since last post: 544 days
Last activity: 543 days
ICQ:  
#38 Posted on
A question for anyone who's been following the game for a while: I'm trying to pick up other people in other feds who I've put on `shortlist.' So far, several months later... nothing. Is there any way to speed up the process? Do I have to wait until their contracts (even verbal ones) expire? Buy out their fed? Or is there something that I'm missing?

Thanks



"If I told Mooah to act her age, she'd die." -- Jerry Lawler, 1999
Underwater
Boerewors








Since: 5.10.02
From: Battle Creek, Michigan

Since last post: 3276 days
Last activity: 2925 days
#39 Posted on
It kinda depends on the situation. Most times wrestlers end up re-signing with their company when their contracts up. Your best chances to get the guy you want are to a)steal him if your promotion is big enough and he will negotiate b) buy out the promotion. This is easy if the guy is in one of the smaller feds, but if you're looking for somebody who's in RoH or TNA, it ain't gonna happen. c) hope that there's an ownership shakeup and the wrestlers you want get released or the promotion goes bankrupt.





In case of nuclear radiation, stand directly behind your door, but do not open the door, even if the radiation knocks.
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 450 days
Last activity: 411 days
#40 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44

    Originally posted by Underwater
    It kinda depends on the situation. Most times wrestlers end up re-signing with their company when their contracts up. Your best chances to get the guy you want are to a)steal him if your promotion is big enough and he will negotiate b) buy out the promotion. This is easy if the guy is in one of the smaller feds, but if you're looking for somebody who's in RoH or TNA, it ain't gonna happen. c) hope that there's an ownership shakeup and the wrestlers you want get released or the promotion goes bankrupt.

See, I'm playing as WWE, and I can't buy out any promotion, even the smallest of Backyard Feds. Oh well, there aren't any guys in those (have you ever forgotten how to spell a really easy word, and then you look at how you spelled it, and it just seems wrong somehow. that just happened to me with "those". So it could be spelled wrong, but for some reason I can't remember right now) Feds I really wanted, I just like buying the competetion!



NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.
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My redemption code worked, but I still haven't been able to connect to the LBP servers for some reason ("Unable to connect"/ "Unknown error"). Edit: The "official" word: http://littlebigplanet.us.playstation.
- Jericholic53, Little Big Planet (2008)
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