OPENING THURSDAY NIGHT NFL RECAP Really, Steelers? Really? Blowing a 4th quarter lead to Carson Palmer in 2012 wasn't enough of a humiliating experience? Now you blow a 4th quarter lead to 2012 Matt Hasselbeck? Really? I remember when this defense used to have a semblance of pride. Now this defense is just coasting on its reputation. (See also: Baltimore Ravens) TITANS 26, STEELERS 23
PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING! James Storm and Bobby Roode's feud boils over, so Hulk Hogan brings in King Mo, who quickly proceeds to make his presence known to Roode. Plus, the Aces & Eights picked their two guys for Bound For Glory. But still Sting needed a partner...someone who was trustworthy...someone who the signs didn't point to being involved with the Aces...someone who hadn't already proven to be a dishonorable douchebag...oh yeah, BULLY RAY! Man, Sting is really, REALLY bad at this. Impact Wrestling starts right now!
Opening pyro! It's the go-home show for Bound For Glory! Two of the PPV's biggest feuds cross over, when James Storm faces Austin Aries and Bobby Roode faces Jeff Hardy! And the fun starts RIGHT NOW!
"THE COWBOY" JAMES STORM v. AUSTIN ARIES: NON-TITLE MATCH This could have easily been the BFG main event, so I'm surprised (and very chagrined) to see them giving it away for free.
We start with a lock-up and both men break to soak up the Impact Zone reaction. Another lock-up, leading to an Aries headlock and another standoff. Here's a Test of Strength, leading to a headlock reversal sequence. A Storm armdrag sends Aries out to take a breather. Back in, Aries grabs another headlock and hits a shoulderblock, but runs into an axehandle. Storm nails rights, but Aries dumps him. Storm skins the cat, so Aries baseball slides underneath it! Storm tries to catch Aries with a pescado until Aries slides back in, but Storm lands on his feet! Aries ends that awesome sequence with the suicide dive! Why isn't this match headlining BFG again? Aries hits a hangman's neckbreaker along the ropes for 2! Aries grabs the chinlock until Storm breaks it with a jawbreaker. Storm makes the comeback, but eats boot on a corner charge. Aries unloads with lefts and delivers a weak-ass chop. So Storm reverses positions and gives Aries some MANLY chops! Aries heeds this advice, switches with Storm again, and gives a much HARDER chop this time! Snapmare and second-rope dropkick gets 2! Both men exchange blows in the corner again. Storm's corner charge eats elbow, but Storm shakes it off and nails a corner clothesline. He tries for the ten-count corner punches, but Aries shakes him off at 5 and goes for his own! Storm shakes HIM off at 5 and hits a Russian legsweep! Both men exchange blows some more! Aries shakes his way out of an Eye of the Storm attempt and both men try to dump each other! Aries lands on the apron and hangs Storm on the top rope! Aries goes up top, but the missile dropkick misses! Storm's Codebreaker attempt is blocked! Brainbuster is blocked! Storm's roll-up is blocked! Aries hits an armdrag and both men collide for a double KO! Here's BOBBY ROODE to big heat to pull out Storm and shove him into the steel post before rolling him back in the ring and running off. Earl Hebner didn't see it, but Aries did and he's noticeably conflicted. Aries ultimately decides to finish with the Brainbuster at 10 minutes shown.
WINNER: Austin Aries - That's a hell of an opening match, only undone with the interference ending. I really wish they had saved this for a PPV, but tonight's match proves that an Aries/Storm feud could be amazing!
Post-match, Aries looks unhappy with his win. None of this is picked up by the announce team. Seriously, Tenay and Taz! What are you guys doing?
Backstage, Wes Brisco asks Kurt Angle if he can tag along to BFG. Kurt agrees to this, as AJ Styles enters the picture to send Wes on his way. Styles takes umbrage to Kurt volunteering his services to Sting last week. Styles tells Kurt not to bother coming out with him tonight.
Hulk Hogan and Sting are walking backstage. They come out next!
BOUND FOR GLORY MEMORIES: 2011, Sting recalls beating Hulk Hogan in a match that really, REALLY shouldn't have been happening in 2011.
The "Not the nWo" porno music brings out HULK HOGAN and STING! Jeeze, typing the words "Hulk Hogan" and "porno music" in the same sentence has gotten a lot creepier in the last few weeks, hasn't it? Hulk grabs the mic and plays some air guitar. He gives some exposition until Sting grabs the mic and hammers home that Hogan has to watch the match. Sting acknowledges that their first choice was taken out, so they had no choice but to agree to Bully Ray. That's...debatable, to say the least.
Interruption comes from CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN, of all people. Even DANIELS knows that Ray can't be trusted. "Of all the people in the Impact Wrestling locker room to pick, you picked the most untrustworthy son of a...nope, I'm not gonna say it...the most untrusworthy guy in the locker room? That's a bad decision, Hulkster!" He's right, you know. But Daniels is more concerned with why Hulk and Sting didn't simply have The World Tag Team Champions of the World represent TNA? Hmm...I know what Daniels is trying to do, but that actually does make a semblance of sense. Kaz takes the mic and assures Hulk and Sting ("Heath...Thunderlips..." HA!) that their feelings aren't hurt and offers a compromise -- The tag title match gets cancelled and Sting tags with Kurt Angle to faces the Aces.
Next interruption comes from BULLY RAY, who has his own mic. Ray tells Daniels to never talk about his brother again. Um...I didn't HEAR a Devon mention, but ok. Ray agrees with the champs that Kurt Angle would have been a great choice, but points out that this isn't a wrestling match, this is going to be a fight. Ray says he doesn't need to be friends with Hulk and Sting, but he needs to be their partner. He offers to prove his loyalty tonight by tagging with Sting to face the World Tag Team Champions of the World tonight. The champs go apeshit and Hogan makes the main event for tonight! The champs continue to go nuts! Hit the porno music!
HERNANDEZ (w/CHAVO GUERRERO) v. "THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES Styles kicks Hernandez around to start and uses his speed to avoid SuperMex's power advantage. Styles mouths off to Chavo and tries to hit Hernandez with a sunset flip. It's blocked, so Styles nails him with an enziguiri. Styles mouths off to Chavo some more before missing a corner splash. Hernandez whips Styles into the corner with authority! We hit the bear hug. Styles comes back with a big dropkick, which sends Hernandez against the ropes. Seated dropkick sends Hernandez all the way out. Styles follows with a pescado. He rolls Hernandez in and talks some more trash to Chavo. Springboard misses and Hernandez nails the NFL tackle...for the pin? Huh...
WINNER: Hernandez - That ending came out of nowhere. Decent match to that point, too.
Backstage, Bane tells Hulk Hogan that he's impressed with his chess-playing skills. He directs the camera to Joseph Park, who's being fed his daily meal. He admits surprise to the selection of Bully Ray, but notes it's not one they can't overcome.
Ad break - Sneak peek of "Sinister," about the evil geneticist that performs hideous experiments on mutants! He's the sworn enemy of the X-Men and...oh, it's not about THAT Sinister...gotcha!
ZEMA ION makes his entrance for our next promo. Tenay calls him an unmitigated success, which would be pretty funny if he wasn't serious. Ion takes the mic and says being humble gets you nowhere in life. Ion reels off his resume of delivering injuries to everyone, but points out that it means he has no opponent this Sunday, since...well...he injured everyone!
Interruption comes from ROB VAN DAM, of all people. RVD gets in Ion's face and points out that he also doesn't have a match for Sunday. Van Dam says Hogan offered him any opponent of his choice. Ion shoves Van Dam, so Van Dam responds with a swift spin kick to the face. Van Dam holds up the X Division title. Hit his music! Man, the X Division has to be REALLY desperate if they're throwing Van Dam into the mix, but at the same time, that match should hopefully be a lot of fun!
Backstage, Hulk Hogan continues to point out that something doesn't seem right about Bully Ray. Sting says they have no other choice, because there wasn't anybody else available. Again, that's not true! In fact, wasn't Rob Van Dam just out there ONE MINUTE AGO talking about how he didn't have anything to do at the PPV? Holy Moses! Anyway, Bully Ray enters the picture and tells Sting that they're up next. Ray pauses to ask what's up. Hogan bluntly tells Ray that he doesn't trust him. Ray respectfully asks if Hogan knows who he is. Hogan tells Ray he has one chance to prove himself. Sting desperately tries to get Hogan to play nice with Ray. Oh Jesus...it's just too easy with Sting at this point.
Backstage, Brooke Hogan gives Taryn Terrell the pep talk for Sunday. Tara enters the picture and gives Brooke a media list for what she should be doing on Monday for her first day at champ. Brooke tears up the list and tells Tara to go out and earn the title. Tara walks off saying, "Kim and Khloe were so right about you!" There's your first clue to the Hollywood boyfriend, folks. If it turns out to be Rob Kardashian, then God help us all!
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN v. BULLY RAY & "THE ICON" STING: NON-TITLE MATCH Ray clears the ring with his chain and moos to the crowd. As Sting makes his entrance, we go to our next...
Ray starts off with Daniels, who starts with a cheap shot. Ray powers Daniels down with a shoulderblock and a big clothesline. Ray beats Daniels down with some corner headbutts and big chop. Daniels' over-the-top selling is just fantastic! Ray wrestles (!) Daniels down. "YOU WANT STING?" Ray gets a "Sting" chant started. He may be laying it on thick...just a tad. Sting hits Daniels with rights. Hiptoss and clothesline gets 2. Cheap shot allows Daniels to make the tag, but Kaz eats some more punishment, including a double-team hiptoss. Back suplex from Ray gets 2, as Kazarian feebly tries to crawl to his corner. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Ray beats on Kaz in the face corner. Sting suplexes Kaz for 2 and makes the tag. Double clothesline hits and Ray hits a big vertical suplex before tagging out. Stinger Splash hits! Daniels pulls Kaz away from a second one. Daniels wishbones Sting on the steel post. The champs now work over Sting on the outside, as Ray suddenly starts giving chase with a chair! The heels work over Sting, as Ray gets a big "Sting" chant started. Daniels gyrates at Ray to get him to cause the distraction. Ray argues with the ref by making the same gyrations. HA! The champs tee off with springboards for 2. Daniels goes up top, but that never works against Sting! Double KO spot! Tags are made on both sides and Ray cleans house. Ray hits a corner splash on both guys. Samoan Drop on Kaz gets 2! Pier 4 breaks out! Daniels tries to nail Sting with the belt, but Ray kills Daniels dead with the running boot! Ray stares down Sting after that one. Sting nails Kaz coming off the top. Sting and Ray give each other the Hand of Friendship. Sting tells Ray to GET THE TABLES! Ray sets up furniture while Sting disposes of Kaz with the Scorpion Death Drop. He then feeds Daniels to Ray. SUPERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE TO A HUGE POP! And there's your DQ!
WINNERS BY DQ: Christopher Daniels & Kazarian - Man, the crowd went NUTS for that ending sequence, so it definitely worked in that sense. But yeah, they can have Ray kiss babies and help old ladies across the street, but it doesn't change the fact that Ray is SO turning on Sting this Sunday.
Video package on Aries/Hardy.
Later tonight, Bobby Roode faces Jeff Hardy! But up next, Miss Tessmacher faces Gail Kim!
Here are some backstage promos from Al Snow and Joey Ryan.
Backstage, Annoying Backstage Guy talks to Samoa Joe. Joe promises bad things for Magnus, but Magnus enters the picture and gets in Joe's face. Joe offers to do this tonight. Magnus responds that he's not afraid of Joe and wants to beat Joe on a stage where people will pay to see it.
GAIL KIM v. MISS TESSMACHER: NON-TITLE MATCH Gail gets a cheap shot to start and stomps away. Here's some corner choking followed by a corner clothesline. Tess comes back with a headscissors. Gail dodges the stinkface, lest she be hit with such a devastating maneuver! Gail comes back with a dropkick for 2 and works Tess over for a bit. Tess comes back with a weeeeeeak catapult. Here's the babyface comeback. Tess goes up top and gets crotched. Gail picks Tess off the corner, but a crucifix gets 2. Tess moves in, but gets nailed with a sit-out powerbomb for a double KO! Gail goes up top, but Tess rolls out of the way. Atomic faceplant gets the quick pin.
WINNER: Miss Tessmacher - Decent, but not particualrly great.
Post-match, Tara attacks Tess. Widow's Peak is dodged and Tess nails Tara with the atomic faceplant! Hit Tess's music!
Backstage, Bobby Roode says he was the one going into BFG as the challenger last year. Storm suddenly interrupts and gets in Roode's face for what happened earlier. Roode tries to exit, but Storm slams Roode against the locker. Fight breaks out before it's broken up by King Mo!
BOUND FOR GLORY MEMORIES: In 2005, Jeff Hardy launches himself off the top of the stage and hits Abyss with a Swanton Bomb through a table!
Here's a video package on Sting!
Mike Tenay and Taz have the BFG card rundown!
BOBBY ROODE makes his entrance for our main event! It's next!
BOBBY ROODE v. "THE CHARISMATIC ENIGMA" JEFF HARDY Roode attacks Jeff from behind on the outside to start! He chucks Jeff into the guardrail repeatedly. Bell rings to start the match proper, as Roode stomps away in the corner. Jeff makes the comeback with the wishbone legdrop and seated dropkick. Backdrop hits and Jeff clotheslines Roode out. Roode tries to pull Jeff out, but gets sent into the guardrail before getting nailed with the pescado! Roode comes back with a clothesline. Roode chokes away and slides Jeff to the outside. Roode hits a vertical suplex on the outside to take us to our final ad break of the night.
We come back with Roode hitting the chinlock. Jeff breaks it, but runs into an elbow. Second-rope shoulderblock gets 2. We go back to the outside, where Roode slams his head onto the steel steps. Hangman's neckbreaker gets 2. Now Roode clamps on the Sleeper Hold! Taz calls it a "rear-naked choke," because he's becoming senile. Jeff runs Roode into the corner and nails the Whisper in the Wind! Jeff makes the babyface comeback. Second-rope splash gets 2. Jeff runs right into the AA spinebuster for 2! Now Roode wants the superplex! It's blocked, but the Swanton Bomb misses! Roode hits the spear for 2! Payoff is countered with the Twist of Fate! Second Twist of Fate is countered with the Greco-Roman Nutshot for the laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame DQ!
WINNER BY DQ: Jeff Hardy - That match was going just fine before the uber-lame finish.
Post-match, Roode grabs a chair and winds up, before the ref takes it away! Jeff hits the Twist of Fate! OFF COMES THE SHIRT! Hit Jeff's music! Or actually, hit Austin Aries' music! Aries comes out with the mic and says the night's not about to end with Jeff Hardy in the ring. Aries says he's not going with what's on the sheet. Ohhhhh...I smell a "pipe bomb". Let's give this transcription, for shits and giggles!
"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, hold on a second! You guys think I'm going to let this night end with Jeff Hardy sitting in the middle of my ring? Uh-uh! I've got some things I want to say. But you see...the things I'm gonna say aren't the things that were written on this sheet for me to say. 'Cause quite frankly, this is what I think of this crap right here! You see, since the moment I won the World Heavyweight Championship, Jeff Hardy, I've had people in this company telling me what to think, they've been telling me how to act, they've been telling me what to say, they've been telling Austin Aries to embrace these fans, they've been telling Austin Aries who he had to be as the World Heavyweight Champion! And as of right now, all that crap's done with! You see, Jeff, the picture that's been painted for the last three weeks is that somehow, I'm jealous of everything you have and that's not quite true. I mean, Jeff, I'm certainly not jealous of your rap sheet, I'm certainly not jealous of the fact that you're half-crippled and can barely play with your little girl. But there's one thing I'm jealous of and only one thing I'm jealous of and that's that people in this company cater to Jeff Hardy. I am sick and tired of the special treatment Jeff Hardy gets! You see, I know when I'm being set up to fail. It's real clear to me. For the last two months, I've been asking for new music and new entrance befitting to a great champion, but you see, they're too busy making Jeff Hardy videos. Right now, they're telling me to wrap this up, because I ain't got time. Here's the bottom line, Jeff. I'm sick and tired of people catering to you. That's all I want. I want the company to cater to ME! So I might be being set up to fail, but it's not gonna happen. Because I've always worked best when it's me against the system, when it's me against the world! So you see, at Bound For Glory, the only failure is gonna be you. Because until you beat me, the only failure is the one you see in the mirror whenever you put on that silly makeup."
PIPE BOMB! Cherry bomb.
Jeff takes the mic for rebuttal. "Austin...my nuts hurt...my neck hurts...and this Sunday, I'm gonna END your cocky ass!"
Aries takes the mic back. "Well, that's fine. But until you do that, Jeff, this is my ring. So I COULD slap the taste out of your mouth, but what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna give you one last moment to stand in this ring and get the adulation of your fans. And now Jeff, I'm gonna respectfully ask you to leave my ring so I can bask in MY glory!"
Jeff goes off to exit, but Aries crotches him between the ropes! BRAINBUSTER! Aries loses his shit!
Hey...you think this is a heel turn? I can't tell.
Closing credits are up and we're out!
Well, it was nice of them to give up on "Austin Aries: Face of the Company" at a whole...three months in. Way to give something a chance, guys! And compared to the CM Punk turn, this makes EVEN LESS SENSE, because of the Aces angle lurking in the background. Not unless the idea is to go with "Jeff Hardy: World Champion and Company Savior". And why on EARTH would this company throw in all their chips on Jeff Hardy AGAIN after he's burned them so many times? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
And nothing says "The Old TNA" like a SECOND-HAND "PIPE BOMB" SEGMENT! Did Vince Russo sneak into the booking meetings disguised as a janitor or something? Tune in next week when Austin Aries cuts a promo on Impact Zone fans for not giving him the regard he deserves! If there's anything Austin Aries can't stand, it's being disregarded!
I could diatribe on what an idiot Sting is, but why beat that dead horse any further? Let's just wait for Sunday and I'll get it all out then.
I do not have confidence in BFG or in this company's direction. Way to kill all that momentum, TNA! This is what I get for having faith in you again. I feel about as dumb as......well...as dumb as Sting's going to feel this Sunday.
Until next time!
Take us home, champ!
Productive day. Feeling reinvigorated. A new man in his old, comfortable skin. Focused and ready for what lies ahead. #Unfuckwithable
Turning Punk heel for Cena, hasn't worked, why you would do it for Aries? I have no idea. Its not like Aries is not wrong about TNA and to some degree the TNA fans worship of a guy who has constantly disappointed the company over and over again as well as should be in prison. Yet, it just screams rip-off. I was probably not going to get BFG anyways, so this sorta seals the deal. The card does look good for the most part.
I love RVD in the X-Division, but he needs more than ION to help get that back on its feet. Sting, Sting, I love you, but you are the worst person in the world when it comes judging a person's character. Nice that they have someone other than a face tell Hogan and Sting, they are nuts for picking Bully. I heard Velvet is back which is good. The women's division even if Tess is trying her hardest is starting to become an afterthought when it was the one good thing about the company.
(edited by lotjx on 12.10.12 0708) The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Bully Ray as a face putting people through tables would make money by the wheelbarrows. That audience was bonkers for that spot, and his promo regarding Angle was ... look, this guy is one of the best wrestlers on TV these days, and I want him to hold the world title now-ish.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Am I the only guy that kinda hates Meltzer? Dude makes a buttload of money off being a parasite of the industry, and now can't even be bothered to watch the shows because he's too busy hanging onto Dana White's nutsack.
The Aries thing didn't bug me that much, because it wasn't a Russo deal where "Everything is fake except this!" It was more like he tried to work with TNA to a what they wanted in a world champion, but he can't do it anymore. Reminded me of when Diesel lost the belt to Bret and cut that promo on Vince.
Also, don't know about the rest of you guys, but the movie theater here is showing BFG. Good to know if you are somewhat interested in seeing it, but not $30 interested.
Meltzer is a weird entity. He is sorta like the Roger Ebert of Pro Wrestling if Ebert was much more interested and seeming to make a lot more money ie legitimacy by reviewing TV shows. He has always been a stick in the mud for certain things and his star rating is very what is the word....stupid. Yet, he has been around for a long time and one of the few reviewers left that survived the fall of wrestling in the 2000s.
I would like to see his opinion on Punk's Pipe Bomb speech since its not exactly word for word that Aries did, but it has the same feel. If he thought it was bad then good for him, but if he loved it like everyone else, its a bit of a bullshit for him to throw TNA under the bus. Even if it was a giant rip-off.
The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Originally posted by ScottyflamingoAm I the only guy that kinda hates Meltzer? Dude makes a buttload of money off being a parasite of the industry, and now can't even be bothered to watch the shows because he's too busy hanging onto Dana White's nutsack.
Originally posted by lotjxMeltzer is a weird entity. He is sorta like the Roger Ebert of Pro Wrestling if Ebert was much more interested and seeming to make a lot more money ie legitimacy by reviewing TV shows. He has always been a stick in the mud for certain things and his star rating is very what is the word....stupid. Yet, he has been around for a long time and one of the few reviewers left that survived the fall of wrestling in the 2000s.
Dave has some funny idiosyncrasies but these two posts aren't exactly Observer-quality analysis, according to one source. A reporter is a "parasite" of the thing he covers, seriously now, sir. And calling him a "reviewer" is kind of like describing Vince McMahon's job as "wrestling TV character."
TONIGHT! It's the big go-home show for Wrestlemania! Will it match the intensity of last Monday's Raw? My guess is "no". Plus, Kofi Kingston exercises his rematch clause against Wade Barrett. Will he win the Intercontinental title back?