Hey, Joel Goodhart if you are out there Googling yourself one day, stop by and set the record straight why don't cha?
We start off with Public Enemy acting like idiots. I think they are looking to set up a 3 Way Dance.
Joey Styles is with Paul E Dangerously. Shit went down the other night. Titles changed hand. We are going to see how it all happened tonight. Dangerously promises revenge. Public Enemy wander in, but are cut off by 911. Dangerously, wants to hear them out and signs their contract. Public Enemy just need one more signature for a 3 Way Dance.
This is ECW Hardcore TV Episode #99
Back to Public Enemy and Joey Styles. They steal Styles watch and wallet while he runs down various business.
2 Cold Scorpio vs Hector Guerrero
This is just a bunch of highlights of Scorpio's return set to crappy stock music. Scorpio wins with a 450 Splash.
Back to Styles and Public Enemy. I don't get Public Enemy and their silly voices. More shenanigans.
Shane Douglas is seen riding in a car with a tux on. He has a mic in his hand of course. "What's the Franchise doing in the Big Apple? HAHAHAHA Call the Hotline and find out."
IS THE FRANCHISE LEAVING ECW?? The Franchise address the rumors on the hotline tonight! $1.99 The first minute .99 every additional minute. Knowing Douglas this call won't be cheap.
Back to Styles who tell us that the Public Enemy are off looking for Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko and he sends us to Ian Rotten
Ian tells us the family secret. Axl Rotten was the bastard child their mother never wanted. Blood, sweat and tears.
We go to an Axl/Ian match in progress from Febuary 25th. We see some barbed wire bat action.
Axl Rotten tells us a thing or two. Baseball Bats. Barbed Wire. ECW is EXTREME. Axl is EXTREME. He is going to settle this and it is going to be EXTREME.
Styles is back and he takes us to the beatdown of Public Enemy by Benoit and Malenko while Rocco was in a wheel chair. Same as last week.
We go to the match that follows Sabu and Taz with Paul E Dangerously and 911 vs Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko for the ECW Tag Team Titles.
Benoit and Malenko get control early. Crowd is crazy for Sabu and Taz. Sabu hits one of his leg drops off the ropes while Taz hits a suplex and almost gets three. The tide is turned when Sabu goes flying wildly out of the ring leaving Taz at a 2 on 1 disadvantage.
Sabu comes back in and Malenko hits two nasty looking Vertical Suplexes that send Sabu landing on his head. We will call them Brain Busters. Taz makes a mini comeback and hits suplexes on everybody. Belly to back on Benoit and he lands hard on his neck. The ECW Arena love seeing Benoit get a taste of his own medicine. Taz has total control until Malenko clips him from behind and takes out Taz's leg. Malenko goes right after the leg like a shark that senses blood. Submission hold applied. Benoit stomps the head while going to the ropes and holding Sabu at bay on the outside.
Malenko eventually releases the hold. Taz rolls outside the ring, but wants back in. Paul E orders 911 to carry him out of here for his own good. Sabu is on his own now and takes a beating. Sabu give them a double drop kick which sends Malenko rolling out of one side of the ring and Benoit out to the other. Sabu does a somersault plancha on Malenko which basically misses. Back in the ring he charges and dives on Benoit. Sabu gets on the apron and hits a moonsault off the second rope onto Benoit sending him crashing into the guardrail.
Benoit and Malenko regroup together and Sabu dives on both of them. He then sets up a chair and jumps off of that and lands on both of them again. This gives him time to set up a platform in the corner consisting of a table across the top ropes with a chair on top of that. Malenko comes in and gets slammed down. Sabu scales the top of his makeshift platform, but gets hit from behind by Benoit. Sabu loses his balance and clumsily crashes to the mat landing on the chair. Benoit gets him back on the platform and does a jumping powerbomb off the top. Paul E hit Malenko in the back of the head with his phone, but it is too little too late. Benoit gets the three and we have new champions.
Benoit grabs a mic and says ECW is complete now that they have real champions. He challenges Public Enemy anytime anywhere. Public Enemy limp back out for a fight. Rocco Rock is bleeding from the ribs. A brawl ensues. 911 brings Taz back out. The brawl hits the floor. Taz has 911 press slam him from the ring onto everyone on the floor. Sabu follows with a dive off of the top.
Paul E gets in the referee's face. 911 gives him a chokeslam. The crowd goes apeshit and wants another. 911 gives referee Pee Wee Moore another. The brawl keeps going all the way to the back ECDUB, ECDUB, ECDUB.
Back to Styles who tells us Public Enemy have found The Sexiest Man on Earth Jason, who I guess manages Malenko. He acts like he is going to sign the contracts then doesn't and calls Public Enemy idiots for thinking that. Public Enemy threaten Jason with violence and stick the contract in his mouth. The Pitbulls hit the scene and beat the crap out of Public Enemy.
Back from commercial Public Enemy have been kicked out of the building and Jason cuts a crappy promo about how he controls all these wrestlers. Why this is the case I have no idea. Pitbull #1 yells a lot. Jason says he will sign the contracts if Public Enemy can beat the Pitbulls. This fires #1 up and he goes into a roid rage he wants Benoit and Malenko too. He's going to explode.
We end with a few more promos.
We are out of time
Check out the tag match. Benoit and Malenko were such great heels in ECW. They could wrestle and brawl with anybody and the crowd was just dying for them to get what they had coming to them.
The tag scene was white hot and was loaded with teams with different styles who all wanted to kill one another and now the ultra violent Pitbulls are in the mix.
There ya go, RM! See how helpful and theraputic it is to just follow the advice of my signature?
It's like my boyfriend said. Kurt Angle is God. Chris Benoit is Jesus, and Eddie Guerrero is the Holy Ghost.