It's a beat the clock challenge as I try to watch this episode of ECW before the baby wakes up from his nap. Here we go.
We start off with a video of Raven walking down a snowy neighborhood street. We see him by a Dead End sign, walking down the road, walking through a hole in a fence, and sitting by a chain link fence by the freeway. We see these all again and again but with different filters and in different order. They really want to drive home the Dead End idea, so you see this clip the most. We then hear from Raven who is sitting in a boiler room somewhere. He talks about the lost generation Kurt Cobain left behind and warns Tommy Dreamer that they are coming for him.
This is ECW Hardcore Television
Joey Styles gives us the lowdown and we go to our first match.
Mikey Whipwreck vs 'The Giant' Paul Lauria With The Sexiest Man on Earth Jason
The back story is that Lauria is Whipwreck's childhood friend who is now jealous of him. Lauria stands 5'5" and is about 175lbs. You would assume with two little guys that this is a cruiser type match, but it's not. It's also not a mat based match. It's neither a good match or a bad match. It is a little guy match that you might see anywhere today in a local gym featuring two guys you probably have never heard of. They run through most of the basic Indy spots, reversals and near falls. Whipwreck does do a cross body off of the top rope onto Lauria who is in the third row. Match ends when Jason kicks Mikey in the back of the head and Lauria hits Mikey with his own move, Bulldog off the top, and gets the win. Mikey gets some revenge on Jason and has to keep pounding on him because the crowd will not give Lauria a chair. He finally yanks one away from a fan and saves Jason. Match gets about 12 minutes.
Styles talks about how Benoit has been crippling people. Sabu, Ron Simmons and The Shah all make the hit list.
Al Snow vs Osamu Nishimura
Al Snow's gimmick is that he has no gimmick. He is young, thin, wears blue tights, has no facial hair a sweet mullet and is hyped as being a great mat wrestler. Nishimura is Japanese. Al Snow is more or less doing the Bob Backlund gimmick, no not the great crazy Backlund, but the fair and square mat based Bob Backlund from the early Raws. Nishimura hits some nice forearms to Al Snow's face, Al Snow returns the favor but they are not quite as stiff. Snow throws some suplexes, a sit down powerbomb and Styles tries to sell this as a wrestling clinic. Nishimura hits two dropkicks from the top rope, but only gets a two count. Snow hits a guillotine while Nishimura is laid out on the ropes and The Snowman picks up the win in about 7 minutes.
Some Public Enemy shenanigans, because no ECW episode would be complete without them.
Bad Breed Axl and Ian Rotten vs The Pitbulls in a losing team has to break up forever match.
We get right to it Axl and Pitbull 2 brawl outside. We've got hockey sticks, chairs and blood already. #1 and Ian brawl in the crowd while #2 takes unprotected chair and cookie sheet shots to the head. All four men a busted open. There is nothing of note happening. Punches, kicks objects to the head. Match ends when Axl sets up Ian for a powerbomb off the top on #1 and then starts to celebrate and while doing so he misses the hurricanrana off the top by one and the pinfall. Bad Breed must break up. Ian attacks Axl and the never ending feud of ugly, sloppy and bloody brawls has begun. Match was only about seven minutes and we are out of time.
This is one of those shows that if you caught it at 3 AM after a night at the bars and you went home alone felt like a special treat. Better than last week with a little bit of everything.
The problem is Spike itself needs a complete make over. They are airing Jail marathons in the middle of the week for ####ing sake..... Just everything they do comes across as a cheap, low tier TV network these days.