I lost the first half of this by hitting some button I shouldn't have.
Basically the opening scenes were a big run down of the current feuds.
It's worth noting for those of you scoring at home that we have our forthCRZ sighting in a row, because of these clips.
Can this show wash the bad taste from the last one out of our mouths?
This is ECW Episode #97
Take it away Joey Styles. Styles regretfully brings out Raven with Stevie Richards. Raven tells us how Richards failing him last week is just like the long line of people who have failed him through life. He then rattles off a bunch of cliches which brings out Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer wants some. Raven says this is neither the time nor the place, but Dreamer can act out his aggression if he wants to. Dreamer points at Raven and heads back to the back
This leads Stevie into a story about how he was at a hot club the other night, he was rocking out playing air guitar, having a good time until some guys kicked his butt. So, since they kicked his butt he brought them here to kick Dreamer's butt. The Broad Street Bullies come out. Raven looks unimpressed. They tell Raven they won't fail him.
Dreamer returns and wipes Raven's new buddies out with a stop sign. Raven and Dreamer meet face to face in the ring. Raven's crew is back up and pull Dreamer off. Dreamer fights them off a few times and gets into Raven's face only to get no reaction from Raven every time. Finally, Raven explodes out of the corner and attacks Dreamer. A rumble breaks out and people come out to separate these guys as they brawl to the back.
We get scenes from last night.
Styles tells us that Shane Douglas successfully defended his title vs Marty Jannetty, and also that Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko are the new tag team champions.
Back to The Triple Threat who hold all the gold. Shane Douglas talks. More Horseman bashing. These are three great athletes. Wrestlers. Men. Not entertainers. Triple Threat. Not four fingers. Three. Benoit gets some mic time, but that doesn't distract him from rubbing his hands. The men make the belts, the belts don't make the man. Malenko doesn't have anything to say, so Douglas talks instead. They show us their sign. Not four fingers. THREE.
Sandman and Woman are out with Styles to name their mystery wrestler. Woman talks some shit.
Cactus Jack hits the ring and lurks around Sandman and Woman. Styles wants to know who the opponent is. It's DC Drake.
Cactus starts with an armbar of all things. Some back and forth punching and kicking. Jack adds some biting. DC Drake is some Pennsylvania hardcore guy. He looks like he pulled himself away from too much computer time and Skinny Puppy.
DC Drake takes a swing and connects on Hawaiian Shirt Guy in the crowd. That looked personal. Styles comments on Drake not seeing any sun in three weeks. Cactus Jack wins this pretty easily with a DDT.
Sandman comes in and hits Jack with a cane. Jack turns the tide and then goes after Woman. DC Drake and Sandman double team Jack. This works for a little while. Jack then gets the upperhand. He beats on Sandman who has a 'Severe Brain Concussion' and throws him into a curtain side equipment box.
Now follow along. Styles keeps talking about Sandman's red, white and blue pants. Jack grabs Sandman out of the box only the curtain is still around Sandman revealing only his red, white and blue pants. Jack beats on him as the curtain is still draped over his upper half. Jack takes the curtain off to hit Sandman with the cane only it is not Sandman but rather Terry Funk in red white and blue pants. The crowd goes ape shit. Jack is irate and they go at it. Sandman is back in the ring and he and Funk start pounding on Jack. It's a singapore cane party and they just unload on Jack with who knows how many cane shots. I guess some local guys try to run in, but get beat down.
Dreamer finally makes the save. He gets the cane from Sandman and beats him down with it. Dreamer and Funk go face to face. Styles tells us it is like father and son facing each other. They stare each other down and jaw with one another until Sandman takes out Dreamer from behind.
Funk tells Jack he is a piece of crap and beat on him some more. Cane shots are flying at a tremendous rate. Cactus Jack screams for help on the house mic as the beating continues. Shane Douglas comes out to help, but they talk him out of it. Woman seduces Douglas as the beating continues. Douglas is going to hit Jack with the belt but hits Sandman instead and then hits Funk. One more shot for each and they bail to the floor. Douglas celebrates wildly, Styles is elated, poor Mick Foley is going to have some welts tomorrow.
We are out of time, better show than the clunker last week. The Cactus Jack Singapore Cane bashing got a little uncomfortable to watch, not as bad as Rock hitting handcuffed Mankind with 15 unprotected chairshots, but in the ball park. . They really beat the shit out of Foley there, but it is hard to feel to badly for him since he probably shaved years off Sandman's life with all the chair shots the past month.
I, of course, work at Blockbuster, and a few months ago a guy named Christian was hired. When introduced, I promptly burst into song singing, “Christiiiiiiian! Christiiian!”, earning me odd looks from my co-workers.