We start with a shot of the ring and the fans waving their hands in the air. This can only mean one thing, oh god, Public Enemy. They dance around.
This is ECW Hardcore TV Episode #94. Take it away Joey ...
Joey Styles is at ringside and we are back at the ECW Arena in South Philly. Styles "regretfully" brings out the Sexiest Man on Earth Jason. I don't understand why Jason was allowed to hang around like he did. He is pretty awful on the mic. He stumbles over his words and then brings out his new clients The Pitbulls.
Jason isn't done. He marble mouths his way through another spiel and brings out his new acquisition from Japan ... Jason the Terrible. A guy in a Friday the 13th Jason outfit and mask.
This leads us to a Six Man Action.
The Pitbulls and Jason The Terrible vs Hack Meyers and The Young Dragons
The Dragons are dressed in Karate outfits and have on spiky black wigs as well as eye masks. One of the Dragons loses his mask to reveal ... some white guy with a mullet. Hack Meyers comes in gets a little bit of offense until the Pitbulls go back into squash mode. Jason The Terrible finally makes his debut and hits a few head butts, somes, clothesline and more headbutts. The Young Dragons have left hack Meyers on his own and not even the great Hack Meyers can withstand the three on one force. This match was at least ten minutes and total crap. This was also Jason the Terrible's only appearance in ECW.
Hack Meyers starts beating down his partners the Dragons while The Sexiest Man on Earth gets more mic time and tells Jason the Terrible that he can go to the back. Chair shots for The Pitbulls and now Hack chases down The Sexiest Man on Earth and gives him a beating. The Virgin Angel Princess comes down and starts slapping Meyers. So, he punches her several times, like beat the shit out of your old lady in the trailer type punches and then spanks her. So, of course she gets up and starts making out with him because she likes it. Hack then kicks her in the gut and gives her a spike pile driver.
Wow, I don't remember any of this at all, but this comes off horribly today. Hard to get behind hillbilly domestic violence. Let's just move on from this ...
'Crippler' Chris Benoit vs 'The Snowman' Al Snow
Al Snow now has 'The Snowman' in his title. Styles says Benoit has ice water running through his veins. The bacne says it could be something else.
We trade arm bars, then a test of strength into rolling pinning predicaments. Snow finally gets the upper hand with a super kick to Benoit's jaw. More moves into reversals. Benoit backs Snow into a corner and gives Snow two chops that absolutely explode off of Al Snow's chest. Those sounded painful. Irish Whip into the corner, Snow does the Flair bounce out of the ring so Benoit can clothesline him to the floor and follow with a baseball slide to the face. Snow no sells it jumps to the top and drop kicks Benoit out. He has Benoit rattled, so he takes a breather on the floor.
Benoit comes in and regains control. He hits a German Suplex that only gets two. Stiff clothesline and Snow looks dead, so Benoit talks shit and then hits a scoop slam and a running elbow to the face. Benoit's stuff is looking extra nasty tonight and Snow seems game for it, but I do not envy Snow. Benoit hits a flying headbutt that gets two and even that looks boarderline out of control. Beniot is really juiced up tonight.
Benoit starts flexing for the crowd, how bout that?
Al Snow is getting the shit kicked out of him at this point, he is finally able to reverse a German Suplex into one of his own which leads to a half hearted comeback and gets a few near falls. Benoit finally has had enough and hits a full nelson suplex and gets the pin. Benoit isn't done and he hits a powerbomb for good measure. Styles is concerned. Medics rush in to tend to Snow.
The match was about 15 minutes and turned out to be pretty good. I liked it better than their first go round a few episodes ago even though this one was mostly just Benoit stiffing the crap out of poor Al Snow. Young Al Snow looks so over matched in there against the juiced up Beniot that it doesn't even look like a fair fight, which maybe adds a dimension now that didn't exist then. Styles tried to sell it as a wrestling classic, which is a stretch.
... and we are back to the fucking Public Enemy doing their hand waving from the beginning of the show. We get a bunch of still photos of them battling Sabu and Taz while Joey Styles does really excited voice overs. This is a tables match, both members have to go through the table. Sabu and Taz win. This is weird. I don't want to watch Public Enemy, I hate Public Enemy, but why have them get them lose the titles in a tables match via still photos?
We go back to moving pictures. 911 has set up Rocco Rock on a table while Sabu is perched on another table that sits on the top rope. Benoit shows up and attacks Sabu and the powerbombs from the top table onto Rock and his table in a really nutty spot. He then bumps into 911 and backs off, 911 stands there like an idiot.
Benoit then cuts a creepy promo about how he wants to murder Sabu ... or at least his wrestling career. Pain and Humility. We are out of time.
I think you'll get one or two more chances. This taping was "Double Tables," aka "the r.s.p-w convention." I wore yellow and a Kings cap over my mullet so 42 year old me could find 23 year old me forever:
For extra credit, in the bleachers you can also find Rick Scaia, Dave Scherer and...yes, Dave Meltzer.
(and a few dozen other r.s.p-w names which may or may not have any meaning to you)
So now I have to rewatch the beginning if only to answer the burning question, does young CRZ throw his hands in the air? Why yes he does, for a bit, and then looks like he might get a little funky with the beat. Good times.
I'm glad someone around here got to watch the tables match. I don't understand the logic of having a Double Tables card and not showing the match, unless they were looking for VHS revenue.
(1) "Order this gold medal right now and we'll throw in this lovely commemorative box for it for just $19.95. This is a freakin' bargain, people!" (2) Batista's one weakness in the ring: lullabies. (3)