Recaps of ladder match, THE BIG SHOW DIES! Oh… it was just for fake. Rob Van “DUI” Dam is now well on his way to become champ again!
Paul Heyman; using words such as CHAGRIN. He announces that Dec 13 has been picked by Rob to dismember Big Show, dismember in December of course.
EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER announced
Let the bodies hit the floor!
TONIGHT
Big Show and Standard Drug TEST versus Bob and Rob
FIRST MATCH OF THE NIGHT:
The Homicidal etc. Sabu vs. the likes of A Vampire. I don’t know if that girl is hot or if she’s just a vampire, also her bewbzwtfpwn Litas kthxbai.
-Sabu and Count Chocula gave a more or less unsurprising match. I would say Sabu gave a pretty good performance here, got a lot of gasps from the fans with pretty mobile airfare. Sabu wins via Camel Clutch (I know it was the style of clutch the original sheik used because Joey said so)
Rebecca interviews the Sandman who beats the shit out of a clown with the Singapore cane. The funny part is I wrote the preceding sentence as soon as the clown appeared on the screen. Rebecca is scared, because if Sandman finds out she’s rly a clown she will be in trouble. Sandman just says he hates clowns, fade to black.
COMMERCIAL BRAKE!
…
AND WE’RE BACK!
“The Marine” was a tricky shoot because it was shot in a disgusting swamp with the T1000 constantly hunting down the cast. Alligators eat a useless secondary character and his pants… back to the show.
TAZZ Gives Joey a rope to go hang himself! And speaking of bad jokes; here comes the Great Kali vs. a noticeably shorter Thunder from that game Killer Instinct for the Super Nintendo.
Oh, its Daivari who’s wrestling; and thunder is actually Shannon Moore. Daivari wins with a DDT, then Kali literally kills Shannon.
BACKSTAGE! Holly says its ironic that he’s teamed up with Rob. I see the irony, and so do you.
NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS!
All these commercials suck bawls. Bawls should be a sponsor and have something CLEVER!
WRESTLEMANIA is coming back to DETROIT! You can tell from the footage they use that they’re hinting that Hulk Hogan is gonna main event this WRESTLEMANIA! HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST between THREE GIRLS!
One of them is Ariel who might or might not be dressed as a vampire, and renowned Torrie look-alike Kelly Kelly (I could make fun of her name by calling her Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly, but I wont). BTW none of the costumes were actual costumes and Ariel even said she dresses like that every day. WTF? I cheered for Ariel but I was alone so nobody cared.
Trinity wins, and Mike Knox comes out to fight C.M.Punk.
Punk beats Knox LITERALLY to death. So Knox is embarrassed and walks away. The whole beat-down consisted solely of Punk kneeing the crap out of Knox stomach.
In all seriosity…. COMMERCIAL BRAKE!
AND BACK
Mike Knox delivers the most intense promo ever, I didn’t catch any of it though.
RVD makes his entrance. The noob announcer didn’t wait for Rob to get to the ring so he can point at himself when he says Rob’s name. Rob should have literally killed him.
ROB/BOB vs. TEST/SHOW
Big Show looks like he’s gonna cry during his entrance. No joke. Maybe he feels bad about the Clown.
COMMERCIAL BRAKE!
AND WE'RE BLICKETTY BACK
Test and Rob start out the match, Test gets an upperhand on Rob by literally trying to kill him. Rob uses his kung fu to take down test and hit Bob with the tag. Test is the next Brock Lesnar, half the talent- twice the juice! (algebra)
You know its a workrate enthusiast's dream with BOB HOLLY and TEST one-on-one in the ring.
Tag to Rob, he's got the upper hand leading me to believe TEST WILL WIN! Test gets the crap kicked out of him, but then he elbows Rob and Bob in the eyeball. Rob w/ flying cross-body to Test on the apron , at least THREE people start chanting ECW. Alright, it was cool I guess.
COMMERCIAL BRAKE
MK Armageddon is being heavily advertised, but Im sure no one else is gonna buy it. Sorry Scorps. Get the game though, you can literally kill people on it (and because of it).
AND BACK!
Test and Rob go back and forth. Test does does a face stretch move to Rob on the corner, to which Tazz replies with the line of the night; "Oh my God, he's stepping on Van Dam's head".
Van Dam connects with a stiff, solid-sounding windmill kick.
Big Show is finally in the ring, and he might literally kill Holly.
The crowd saying Show sucks, wow... does that mean Bob doesnt? Come on guys. Really now.
Back to a classic grappling match-up Bob vs Test. These two are mastermind technical legends. Test even does a wrist lock and then he elbows Bob in the eyeball again.
SHOW in
Tazz says Big Show crashing down is like the Hindenburg but then debates with himself if Hindenburg is a type of cheese.
Rob in, he takes Show down and hits the rolling thunder! Test breaks the pin on a countdown that was visibly delayed for specifically that reason.
Bob hits his special on Test, Show takes down Bob, Rob takes down Show, Show pulls Rob out of the ring. A guy in a gorilla suit hits Rob in the back of the head with a pipe, Show chokeslams Rob, pin. Test and Show win.
Did I call it or didnt I.
IN CONCLUSION!
Rob and Bob are gonna be a regular stable now, I know because I read it on the-w. Which is a reputable website page.
PAul Heyman is the man in the gorilla suit btw. Wattabasterd.
GOOD NIGHT [Your City Name Here]!
EDIT: Aw, I enjoyed my awesome new name for the whole 10 min. I had it.
A well. Yours Truly. WTMH
(edited by WhoTookMyHonor? on 31.10.06 2039) Some of my work, very informative:
They called the girls "Divas" instead of "Vixens". For some reason, I finally cried a little knowning that not even a water down ECW can survive nowadays.
fun/interesting thing for this show: Colt Cabana was the guy dressed as the "fairy/girl" costume and when Punk came out to beat up Knox you could see Cabana leading the "CM Punk" chant.
God, I hope that after the man has wrestled Eugene and Hacksaw and played comedic fodder and also has played a druid (at the last WM) and has now dressed up and was featured on ECW that Cabana will finally get a deal with the WWE.
It's a crime that Punk gets signed and Cabana (whom could fit in more with the "sportz entertainment") is relegated to cameo appearences.
Mind you - I like seeing Punk, but I wish for the Second City Saints in ECW.
Originally posted by CHAPLOWBTW none of the costumes were actual costumes and Ariel even said she dresses like that every day. WTF?
Actually, Kelly was dressed as CM Punk. Hence her jealous boyfriend Knox coming out to threaten her, and CM Punk coming out to deliver the beatdown. Thus furthering the Punk-and-Knox-are-fighting-because-Kelly-is-into-CM-Punk thing.
Once again, Sabu starts a match by diving at the opponent's legs, and once again, the opponent avoids it. Thorn, however, wisely used the Sabu dive and turned it into a headlock and pounded the back. I like the guy, I like the gimmick, but he wisely was booked to lose and move Sabu to the PPV match. Even though, he's new, Thorn doesn't lose any status here. However, he's lost two in a row cleanly (once to Dreamer, who never wins), and he can't eat too many pins without becoming Shannon Moore.
Speaking of whom, man, did Daivari squash him but good. Nice DDT finisher, but whither the Flying Carpet finisher?
I will be glad to see Show out of the main event. He's worked his sizable butt off to carry the main event, and he's done good. But it's been two months, and I want some one new against RVD to end the show. It's a shame. Show has done a throughly commendable job as the champ, and yet I want him to move along now.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Two months? It's been four months and counting. July, August, September, October.
Listen, Show's been great, really great. I love Show. Love him like the seven foot, five hundred pound son I never had (even though he's older than I am). But as ECW Champ, he's gots to go.
But if that belt switches from Show to Test in that Chamber, I will find something better to do with my Tuesday nights at 10pm.
Originally posted by John OrquiolaTwo months? It's been four months and counting. July, August, September, October.
Listen, Show's been great, really great. I love Show. Love him like the seven foot, five hundred pound son I never had (even though he's older than I am). But as ECW Champ, he's gots to go.
But if that belt switches from Show to Test in that Chamber, I will find something better to do with my Tuesday nights at 10pm.
I should have said the Show reign has lasted two months too long. And I suppose we should blame Sabu and RVD for screwing up the booking with their arrest.
Test as champ wouldn't kill the promotion for me if he would defend the title cleanly, and he wouldn't. I think virtually any ECW title reign would be fine (even Show's) if it were removed from the tattered "evil GM's protected champ" cliche. I do believe you have to wait before Punk holds the belt. Too soon there. But Hardcore Holly could get his revenge on Test AND win the belt in the same match.
Just think what Shannon Moore could be doing if he gouged the hell out of his back.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Originally posted by The Vile1What is this with the talk about Test winning the title? The man that's going to win the Extreme Elimination Chamber and the ECW title is CM Punk.
Originally posted by The Vile1What is this with the talk about Test winning the title? The man that's going to win the Extreme Elimination Chamber and the ECW title is CM Punk.
Too much, too soon?
no dizoubt.
I would really recommend for the WWE to continue to really build up Punk and finally let him get the title at Wrestlemania.
My personal opinion is highly respected by their creative staff so I know thats exactly whats gonna happen.
“When that music hits, I am the stupid bastard that will walk down that aisle like Frankenstein on PCP and melt everything in its path!”
Maybe if we were talking about the WWE world title. But we aren't.
How is it too soon? Who else can really hold and carry the title? Big Show is on his way out. RVD is unreliable because he gets pulled over with the reefer. Test is Test. Bob Holly would never be made the center-piece even if it's a B show for WWE. And Sandman? What's the point? Punk winning actually elevates someone. I think the potential possibilities are a lot more interesting with Punk winning.
Here's a guy that came to ECW and slowly built himself up. But none of the big dogs paid him any attention. And that is what is going to cost them dearly.
At a time when the wellness policy was formed and people were falling off the rosters like flies, and here comes Punk. A hard looking dude with piercings and tats but is all about the straight-edge, drug free lifestyle. Just saying, it's sort of convenient if you make this guy a champion with everything that's happened.
Besides, Wrestlemania is when Punk will take the WWE title.
The preceding announcement has been paid for by the fanz of CM Punk.
And when is Punk joining the Hall of Fame? 2008? After he ends The Undertaker's WrestleMania win streak, ends Umaga's undefeated streak, makes the trains run on time, and ends the war in Iraq singlehandedly? Why? Cuz he's STRAIGHT EDGE!
Heh. You had me at "But none of the big dogs paid him any attention. And that is what is going to cost them dearly."
Seriously, should Punk be ECW Champion? Yeah, eventually. Who should be ECW Champion? Take your pick, Rob Van Dam or Sabu. The way it should have been before they screwed up in June. This brand still has to be legitimized as ECW, which was totally fouled up when they got pulled over for marijuana possession, which was the biggest of several nails in what's becoming ECW's coffin. Do I think either of them will get the belt? No. Do I fear Test will because Show needs a break and Test is big, muscular and is being pushed to the moon? Damn right.
Originally posted by The Vile1And Sandman? What's the point?
If you're not going with RVD, then the Sandman is the most charasmatic wrestler on their roster. He's the one that could win over the fans in the crowd that yell "What?" and have never heard of Samoa Joe. That makes up a LARGE part of their audience.
Originally posted by The Vile1And Sandman? What's the point?
If you're not going with RVD, then the Sandman is the most charasmatic wrestler on their roster. He's the one that could win over the fans in the crowd that yell "What?" and have never heard of Samoa Joe. That makes up a LARGE part of their audience.
He did beat the shit out of a clown.
My favorite moments of WWF No Mercy for the N64:
1. Winning the tag team belts with a team composed of Cactus Jack and Mankind.