Coachman announces Armando Estrada as the first ECW GM by order of Mr. McMahon. (Paul Heyman was "ECW Representative.")
CM Punk and John Morrison sign their contract to meet for the ECW Title at Summerslam.
Big Daddy V beat CM Punk by countout. Extreme!
Big Daddy V pinned Tommy Dreamer.
Kevin Thorn pinned Stevie Richards then wouldn't stop pummeling him so the decision was reversed and Stevie wins by DQ. Extreme!
Coach interviews Elijah Burke about possibly being the McMahon bastard.
The Boogeyman beat John Morrison by DQ when Morrison shoved the referee. Extreme! Morrison escaped the worms.
Estrada had a really funny line when he said he hopes that Mr. McMahon spent some time in Cuba in the 70's.
Two Big Daddy V matches back to back? Somebody up there loves me! No wait, not loves. Despises.
Punk actually got to speak during the contract signing. Most of his rant was about how John Morrison talks too much and how his growing cavalcade of catchphrases make no sense. But hey, Punk showed a little fire there. Which was quickly extinguished by a countout loss to Big Daddy V.
One thing that does impress me about BDV is his ambidextrious skill at making the Vulcan hand signal. A lot of people have trouble doing it with just one hand. Even if BDV is a Trekkie, he's probably still not the world's fattest.
I got a bit of a chuckle out of Estrada calling fat Tommy Dreamer lazy and making him run to the ring in 60 seconds with everyone backstage providing random obstacles.
Balls Mahoney tried to ask Kelly Kelly out. She seemed interested but Miz, Leyla and Brooke shamed them both out of the date. Brooke and Leyla are portrayed as bitches while Kelly is the nice one. Apparently Kelly Kelly is the sweetest, most kind hearted, and non-judgmental former exhibitionist in sports entertainment. She still has the shittiest taste in men. Hey, remember when she was hot for CM Punk for a couple of weeks? Do the bookers? No.
There's nothing quite like the abject silence and the sight of thousands of people sitting on their hands, blank looks on their faces, during a John Morrison ring entrance.
This show is still the suck. Maybe Estrada should put together a game show.
Not that I can come to the conclusion that WWE even really wants anyone to watch ECW, but if they ever started caring about the brand again, perhaps a good place to start would be no more freakin' matches ending by disqualification and countout.
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I just watched ECW and I have to say this show really pisses me off. I like Morrison, Punk, Dreamer, and Burke. So we get BDV beating the two top faces? What are we supposed to think that Mabel is main event material after 15 years? Oh and thank god the Boogie Man was protected I mean why have your champ look he deserves the belt? So the two ECW wrestlers both jobbed 12 days before the PPV? Fucking brillaint.
Marge I am just trying to get into heaven not run for Jesus.
They do a great job as making BDV look badass. Part of it is ofcourse because of the scary look he has without shirt.
Yes, he killed jobbers and now he got a count out victory over Punk. So what. It doesn't make Punk look bad or anything imo. Average fans will accept the guy as a behemoth type thing. Maybe especially because of the shirtless look.
Oh and Mabel is a former KotR and has main evented before
The Morrison-Boogeyman match I would be a bit more upset about, if it wasn't for the fact that Boogey always looks strong and gets away with this shit. Because people seem to love it.
And Dreamer, while a top face, hardly ever gets a string of wins, no matter who he faces.
All in all, the match that probably upset me the most (and this is mostly in jest) is the Thorn-Richards match, where Stevie got his ass kicked and only got the W because the referee was lame enough to change his decision. I would like it if Stevie gets some more offense ;)
I'm going to hope I read that wrong and you weren't actually suggesting they use Steve Austin to give the rub to and push Jon Heidenreich... I believe the plan is for Austin to be a sort of Raw enforcer...