Actually thought about doing a recap for this one. This show has kinda drifted into a neat place; it's actually a lot like the old ECW that it was 178 episodes ago, a collage of really green guys just hoping to be noticed and useful underutilized vets who can still go. That seems a lot closer to the old spirit than Kelly Kelly doing a bad striptease until Mike Knox breaks it up.
I then remembered that playing video games is easier than recapping, so I went with that. But I did watch the show!
Yoshi Tatsu on the Abraham Washington show. This actually served no real purpose (shocking), but Yoshi got to make Abe look dumb and maybe gave away that the goofy stuff he's doing is partially planed. And he picked buddy Christian in the main event.
Goldust beat Paul Burchill - this seemed all the world like a Burchill win to set up next week's mask match (guess doing that and the title match on the same week was a lot more than one ECW can handle.) But, with Paul just about to get the win, Hurricane came out and ran around the ring. Somehow, this was enough to distract Burchill to get beat via Final Cut.
50/50 booking says Paul gets that win back next week. But maybe someone has already figured out he's going and decided he might as well lose on the way out?
Vance Archer won a squash. I'm not high on the idea of any ex-Lance Hoyt in my life, but seeing as all they've come up with him so far is...
a) that horrible, horrible name b) he's intense and kinda mean
...they really don't have any plans for him. And he's probably not long for this world with that kind of interest.
I think it was in here where we had both
* In the GM office, William Regal asks StephanieTiffany for a fresh start between them when he becomes champ. Tiffany agrees, even if Regal doesn't win the title. Regal makes faces, Tiffany is too dumb to notice (still.)
* In a hallway, Zach Ryder talks to Rosa in what passes for an normal conversation for a guy in WWE who likes a girl (actually, better than most). He compliments her, and invites her to accompany him to the ring any time she wants. She says she'll think about it. After Rosa leaves, Zach has a fantasy about her - her and him holding hands and skipping down the hallway. Absurdly great.
This is leading to a Shelton/Zach rematch on SuperStars
Christian retained the ECW World Championship over William Regal - this one went over two breaks (though it just got started before the first one), in the 15-20 minute range. Pretty good match. Crowd was surprisingly split - Regal had fans, but not all of them.
Both survived each other's finishers. Regal got on the Stretch, and Christian thought about taping out, but made it to the ropes instead. Regal had Christian set up for a second Knee Trembler, but Christian dodged, kicked him, and dropped him with the Kill Switch for a clean win.
No post match angle, just Christian with the belt.
Such an excellent match, although I was sad when it was over because I guess Regal is never getting the ECW title. If you could only watch one guy's matches from 2009, after Jericho the pick would have to be either Christian or Morrison.
Zack Ryder's dreams are so beautiful, although someone raised the good point that it's interesting how even in his fantasies, Zack is still in the ECW backstage area.
I just don't know. Call me humorless or whatever, but Ryder's dream sequences are horrible. I hate stuff in my wrestling that doesn't make any sense. In the quasi-real/this is happening now world of televised wrestling, how do you explain dream sequences? It boggles my mind. If you're going for absurdist humor as a previous poster stated, go all out. Have him dressed as Inidana Jones saving her from a runaway boulder. Have him wine and dine her and dance the night away at a dance club. Hell, get him out of the hallway. I know if I'm fantasizing about a girl, even by PG standards, we're not in the hallway of where we work. I'm tiger suplexing a tiger or some shit.
Cena can't be beat because he's some unholy genetic recombinate of superstars past. I mean, you might as well call him John "Realest of the Real, Sargent Rock - Cold - A - Mania" Cena.
I cannot BELIEVE you don't actually know what Hamburger Helper is. Also, you missed Cole's "I prefer Tuna Helper" line - a highlight if there ever was one. (Tuna Helper, by the way, is a real thing. John.)