WWE Smackdown & Velocity Taping Results [Spoilers] Posted By Ashish on 05.12.04
All the taping results....
Thanks to 411 reader Tom Jardine for sending in this report.
Dark Match Orlando Jordan v. Carly Colon - typical Jordan match we've seen a trillion times on Velocity...Colon is tiny but had nice subtle heel tactics. Jordan wins with a roll-up....
Velocity Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott come out, no one cares.... Velocity taping.....
Theodore Long comes out and introduces us all to the narcissist Mark Jindrak....a pretty sad Lex Luger impression follows and out comes Spike Dudley and the place goes apeshit ( I swear ). Usual spike vs. anyone match highlighted by Jindrak and his spectacular physique nearly blowing a press slam on SPIKE DUDLEY. Jindrak wins.
Out comes Cena and the roof damn near blows off. He cuts a rap to hype the PPV.
Scotty 2 Hotty v. Akio - Akio is real good...real smooth and nice moveset, of course Scotty is a One-Trick pony and he does his one trick and gets the victory.
Kidman and Paul London v. Bashams - God awful boring match that saw a powerbomb attempt on Kidman....but we all know you cant powerbomb Kidman...Shooting Star Press gets the 1,2,3.
Smackdown Cole and Tazz come out for SMACKDOWN.....
Heart attack recap airs.....
Rob Van Dam v. Bubba Dudley - TRICKERY..... D-Von sneaks from behind and attacks RVD because its really his match. Incredibly sloppy match with usual RVD spots...Bubba kept hitting the mat for D-Von but it just got turned into RVD chants by the crowd..funny stuff. D-Von wins with a top rope assisted ddt. Heel beatdown follows and Rey makes the save.
Eddie and Kurt are having a chat in the back. Kurt accompanied by WWE musclehead #49871A inform Eddie he is a loose cannon....At least Shawn isnt the only one running around.
Cole introduces Jacqueline and they go on and on and then the Chavos come out and its gonna be Chavo v. Jacqueline and Chavo will have one hand tied behind his back at the PPV. Sounds shitty, but at least they are consistent.......Anyways, this leads to a match with the champ and Chavo Sr. and Sr. gets the victory but gets no celebration due to Jacqueline pantsing him and showing everyone Sr.'s man panties....super.
Meanwhile Kurt has more to say to Eddie...great.
Recap of Booker T's latest stereotypical adventure from last week.
FBI v. Booker T - This is Nunzio and Stamboli, by the way still selling the UT beating. Crowd didnt know who to cheer for so they sat on thier hands..and rightfully so. Book wins with the axe kick....lights out and Taker's music hits...Book goes to the stage but he is in the ring. "Epic" staredown follows with T holding his good juju baggie up cuz he aint scared......
Eddie FINALLY comes out and cuts a very long promo and everyone is more fascinated with seeing themselves on the tron then paying attention...Eddie calls out JBL and says "shit" as in im gonna kick the shit outta you and pops the crowd huge....after seemingly forever the longhorn limo rolls out and Eddie breaks the window out (after about 9 tries) but the limo is empty and finally JBL comes out and has Eddie arrested..Christ, I'm sick of the arrest thing. Bradshaw gets heat like 99-2001 X-Pac heat, the go home you dont deserve this opportunity kinda boos...not good....
Rico v. Hardcore Holly - Holly brings Billy Gunn down for reasons that escape me other than perhaps they are forming a team called "Overrated and Overpushed". Holly wins after rolling through a crossbody.
Cena v. Sakoda - Very short match...typical Cena as of late: punches, 5 knuckle shuffle F-U, pin...post match saw him F-U Akio onto Sakoda.
Main Event = JBL v. Rey Mysterio - Brutally shitty here with JBL no-selling everything and Rey bumping his ass off in a futile attempt to get this horseshit character over. Bradshaw does have a huge set of manboobs to compliment that 10 gallon hat....Bradshaw gets the victory.
End of show.
Post-show - JBL runs his mouth and UT comes out and JBL starts bargaining with him to go back and send someone else out.."send Paul London out here I'll kick the shit outta him!" Taker isnt having it and he beats him down and gives him the chokeslam, followed by a tombstone after the "tombstone" chant went up. He then posed with Paul Bearer and left followed shortly by JBL to send us all home "happy."
Somwhere else in the night was a Dupree promo of the usual America sucks business.
(edited by knightvibe on 12.5.04 1106) and thats all i have to say about that!
I believe that during the broadcast they will set up Holly/Gunn vs. Rico/Haas and The Dudleys vs. RVD/Mysterio as well. JD will probably be better action than everyone thinks and thank god the JBL push against Eddie will be over!
On the bright side, Chavo Sr. wrestles. That ends the bright side. If you take a few guesses, this is what the card looks like less than a week out for Judgement Day:
Eddie vs. Bradshaw Taker vs. Booker T Cena vs. Dupree One Armed Chavo vs. Jackie The Wackiness of Haas and Rico vs. The Curmedgeoness of Holly/Gunn RVD/Mysterio vs. Stale Dudleys
The comedy tag match probably can't get more than 10 minutes, Cena/Dupree could turn into a disaster after 10 minutes, the intergender over stipulated match will probably be under 10 minutes. That means they probably are depending on Bradshaw to go around half an hour. Eddie is great, but I don't know if he's that much of a miracle worker.
These are desperate times. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Thus, its time to break out the Cubs/White Sox/Red Sox call to put the Kaiser back on the throne.
Jeez. WWE=Bipolar. Once again, another Thursday at work, with the VCR off at home. Why are they being both cool (Raw) and crappy (Smackdown) at the same time? That's schizo, people!
After a quarter of a century on this planet, there's three things I know for sure... 1)Ain't nothing like a Dirty Pair marathon on New Year's Eve. 2)I'd make a fine Mrs. HHH II. 3) I'd make an acceptable Mrs. Orton. 1400 reasons to luv me!
Every time I see Holly/Gunn as a tag team, I hear Les Claypool say in my head "Billy was a race car driver".
I have to say, this looks like one seriously, seriously crappy friggin' PPV. I usually have something positive to say..um...well, at least Rey has a match?! I like a few of the people involved (Eddie, Cena, Rey, Rico, Chavo, RVD, heck, I even like the Undertaker). But wow, talk about underutilizing your talent. What a pile o' crap.
"All I ever asked for in life is an unfair advantage." Microchip, Punisher Annual #2
I remember last year it was good when Lesnar was (a heel) champ, Heyman was in charge,Angle was FACE,BIG SHOW and ALBERT were wrestling biggest jobbers and stooges,and Benoit Wrestled instead being involved in soap opera drama crap.
Ever since Angle became retired(maybe) and Benoit left for greater things Cena hasn't had a damn decent match.When Eddie first won the belt we use to always see great matches with him every week, but they ruined that by having him do crappy storylines and struggling to beat "THE DUDLEY". The only decent storyline they got is Rico and Haas and that's not even that great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Losers are not those who lose! Losers are those who fail to learn from loss!-Told to me by Olympic wrestling Champ Brandon Slay
I seriously hope that either the recapper forgot to include the PPV-hype video, or WWE is going to edit it into the program before Thursday, because announcing only 4 matches three days before a PPV is just about the stupidest thing ever. Even when WCW was at it's worst by not announcing the whole PPV card until the show started, or advertising false matches on their website, they never only announced four matches on their last show before the PPV. The people who book SmackDown have all gone insane.
Speaking of the PPV, boy does it look shitty. Guerrero is great, but not a miracle worker, and I'm not sure he'll be able to pull a great match out of Bradshaw. Undertaker v. Booker T has the potential to be okay, but I don't know if it'll even make it that far. I like Cena & Dupre, but they're both WAY too green to be in the ring alone with each other for too long. Chavo v. Jackie is a match that should NOT be booked on a PPV that people are expected to pay $34.95 for.
Let's assume the two tag matches are booked on the show. I love Haas & Rico, but Gunn & Holly aren't exactly world-class workers. This has potential to be okay, but I wouldn't go above that. RVD/Mysterio v. Dudleyz looks to take MOTN honors, and even that match isn't anything to get too excited about.
I'm not gonna' say that I won't buy the PPV, because I've said that in the past, and 3 minutes before show-time, I always end up clicking the "BUY" button. However, I'll be crying a river when may cable bill comes in next month, and I realize what I've done.
The answer to WWE's financial problems...
Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
So, not that I'm complaining, but what'n the hell happened to Rikishi? ... it's like he & Scotty dropped the belts and he vanished ... I'd much rather see him teaming with Rosey in a new Somoan team ...
Forget dropping $35, the only one of the JD matches that might make me head over to the local sports bar and watch it for the price of a few pints is Cena/Dupree. And that only to see how well they can pull it off -- the bar of expectations for that one is so low you couldn't slide a dime under it.
Although I would be ghoulishly fascinated by the sight of Bradshaw trying to go thirty minutes. Will he wind up like Scott Steiner and have to kill time by doing six or seven fallaway slams?
Anyway, re the show: Sounds like two hours better spent playing Madden. I'll probably watch a bit out of force of habit, but I have no desire to see Rey play Spike Dudley for Bradshaw, or Chavo wrestling Jacqueline, or another interchangeable match from YOUR Road Dogg of 2004, John Cena.
(edited by Shem the Penman on 13.5.04 0202) S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse a persona che mai tornasse al mondo, questa fiamma staria senzu piu scosse. Ma per cio che giammai di questo fondo non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero, senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.
Funny you should mention that idea about Rikishi and Rosey forming a tag team. I have felt for the last year and a half that Rikishi and Rosey should form a team like their relatives and become a Samoan Savage tag team. It's in thier heritage and thier both agile for big men. Combine the traits and elements of Afa and Sika and update it, you have a new serious tag team.
The fan got the requested stinkface. My original guess that it was a kid who was 13 at the oldest, which would make it the flat out creepiest thing I'd ever seen a wrestling ring in person. But as I said, the lighting was abysmal by this point.