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The W - Football - Dr. Z's 7th Annual TV Commentator Awards
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Since: 27.1.04
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.13
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/writers/dr_z/01/12/drz.announcers/index.html

Great read even if I disagree with alot that he says. Personally I think Dick Enberg and Dierdorf are the best team out there.
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Since: 3.1.02

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.54
I actually love the Sunday Night crew with Joe, Mike and Paul. It was bad when Mike was out and Sommerall was in. Joe has no problem calling guys out on stupid plays and Paul is a great foil for him to play off of. Mike is a great straight man and actually knows how many yards till a first day coughAlMichaelscough. The Monday Night crew is terrible, Madden is a joke of his former self not that he was great to start out with. I do like the guys who do the Steeler games for CBS this season, but if Chris Collinsworth is calling a game I am out of there. Collinsworth talks a good game, but since he was carried out to the locker room for most of his games, I don't think he knows what a fourth quarter is.





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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.93
Thanks for the link!

I like Enberg and Dierdorf, too - and I HAAAATED Dierdorf when he was on MNF. Either he changed or I changed. Or both.

I think my favourite team is the Stockton/Johnston/Goose team - they got a lot of the Packer games this year.

I think Dr. Z pegged all the #1 teams about right, with the possible exception of my biases would lead me to dole out fewer stars for the FOX team. Collinsworth could use a strategically placed icepick, and Buck needs to remember he took a cheque to interview "Leon" during the baseball playoffs next time he issues a proclamation. It may have been me moving from the Pacific time zone, but I couldn't really be bothered to watch MNF this year if the Packers weren't playing, and I don't doubt at all that the Michaels/Madden team's inability to actually call the game was a contribution.

The ESPN team totally deserves their rating, though. If you REALLY want to get wasted sometime, take a drink every time Paul Maguire says "I want to tell you something," "I gotta tell you," "I tell you" or words to that effect. HE SAYS IT **EVERY** PLAY. Those guys are the suckiest sucks to ever suck. However, I DID get some enjoyment out of the early part of the season when they had Pat Summerall in as a temp for Patrick. Probably more nostalgia than an appreciation of his announcing skills, sure, but that's why I watch it and don't write about it....well, except here I guess.



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Since: 11.12.01
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.75

Siragusa is a total waste of space. I thought Stockton and Johnston would have been fine without him. In fact, I think they are terrific and Goose brings them down a notch.

As to your Sunday Night team, CRZ is right on about Maguire. He's begins every sentence that way. I am glad somebody else noticed. You know an announce team is bad when your wife who hardly watches football stops in the room and asks who the idiots are announcing the game. She did that for the Sunday Night team.






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Bullitt
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Since: 11.1.02
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
That's the thing about personal preferences...

I LOVE the Sunday night ESPN crew. Yes, they argue and bicker and contradict each other...but, at least from what I can tell...they're having some fun out there.





Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell...
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Since: 2.1.02
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.89
I also am a big fan of the Sunday night crew, especially Mike Patrick. Their lowpoint this year, though, was the Raiders-Broncos game, highlighted by Theismann's "Collins won't be able to throw it in the middle of the field" comment, seconds before Collins hit Porter right under the goalpost.

Maguire wasn't always like that, Theismann ruined him. He was pretty good on the old USFL telecasts they show on ESPN Classic every now and again.

I would like John Madden to go away and NEVER come back, though. Pretty please?

EDIT: Re, Dr. Z's endless bitching about ball placement being mentioned correctly, there are only a BILLION graphics (especially on FOX) that show you everything you need to know, so if you can't tell where a team's at then BOO-HOO on YOU.

    Originally posted by CRZ
    I DID get some enjoyment out of the early part of the season when they had Pat Summerall in as a temp for Patrick.


I just saw this the other day..."Real Sports" did an outstanding profile of Summerall that's on their end-of-year show, along with another fine segment about the high-school wrestler who had no arms or legs. Well worth watching if you stumble across it.

(edited by JayJayDean on 14.1.05 0827)


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bash91
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Plain Dealing, LA

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.10
    Originally posted by Bullitt
    That's the thing about personal preferences...
    I LOVE the Sunday night ESPN crew. Yes, they argue and bicker and contradict each other...but, at least from what I can tell...they're having some fun out there.


Personally, I think the good Dr. was too generous when he didn't give them negative stars and CRZ was too mild with his commentary about them. They are the only crew that can get me to turn off a good game. They may be having fun, but they are still so horrifically bad that I wonder who they are blackmailing in Bristol. Or, to put it another way, Xpac and Chyna were having fun out there too.

As for the other crews, he was too generous to Buck, as is everyone, because of his last name and he was too generous to the crew with Siragusa. Personally, I really like the Wilcots/Eagle team even though I generally dislike CBS' coverage. Solomon Wilcots used to really annoy me but now I find his insistence on, gasp, calling the game to be refreshing.

Tim



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BWT
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Since: 27.1.04
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.13
    Originally posted by CRZ
    I think my favourite team is the Stockton/Johnston/Goose team - they got a lot of the Packer games this year


Oh no I can't stand Stockton as a PBP guy in any sport at ANY time. I think its just because he messes up guys names so often that I have a deep seated hate for him. However Moose and the Goose rock. Johnston has turned into a fantastic color man who doesn't rely on the announcer cliches like "I was talking to the coach/player/coordinator/etc..." and actually breaks down the game for you. He is sort of like a Madden how he focuses on the blocking schemes and the little things in the game that I don't pick up on.

Now the Goose is so bad that hes amazing. Instead of having a pointless sideline reporter out there they toss out a pretty well known 350+ DT who knows nothing about asking questions and its just great TV. Stockton and Johnston never seem to know when to let Tony talk so he randomly joins in whenever he wants to which makes Stockton force a laugh or a long pause. When he actually had to do work when TO got hurt he did just as good a job as anyone else out there and was right on it. The two funniest moments watching the NFL this year came from Tony. First is that huge graph that pops up with his face whenever he speaks and second in one of the Eagles games this year he put on the pink Eagles hat that was made to fight breast cancer. Why was this funny? Well the hat was at least 10 sizes too small for his huge head and later during a field goal or extra point Tony was standing behind the goal posts still with the hat on looking like a total slob with no idea what to do.

Oh and the Sunday night crew really sucks.
geemoney
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Since: 26.1.03
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.27
Being from New York, we get a lot of Giants games on Fox, and I can't remember if it's the Rosen/Maas team or the Albert/Baldinger team that usually gets them, but whichever it is, I really like the color man.

As for the Bills, we usually get Criqui and Tasker for those games, and they aren't bad. I like Tasker better than Criqui.

As for the Sunday Night Crew....I like'em. I've liked Maguire since he was on NBC in the studio. They aren't afraid to pick on players for their mistakes, which some commentators are hesitant to do.



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Since: 3.4.03

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.93
I guess I'm not quite the purist that Z is; I can deal with some of the storylines and hero worship and such, but it does bother me when the sideline interviews run over the action. And I hate Mike Patrick.
Roy.
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Since: 25.2.04
From: Keystone State

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.56
Goose isn't a "sideline reporter". He's an "Endzone Analyst" (according to him). I'm torn on the Stockton/Moose/Goose crew. Siragusa cracks me up, I can't help it. He's got an essentially useless job, he seems to know that, and he uses his open mike to say anything from analysis to bad jokes (most of the time). Plus his stint as Santa made me laugh, as well as the stupid graphic of his face that pops up whenever he talks. I really like Johnston's analysis, but Stockton messes up names so much, it makes my head hurt. It's "McNabb" not "McNair", Dick.

I've always liked the "lesser" crews, like Pitts/Ryan and Albert/Baldinger.

And the ESPN crew bugs me. If they go and mike the wrong guy (i.e. a guy who's having an off night), they won't even admit that his play hasn't been stellar. And they pick a player to praise all night long, even if he's being beat (Champ Bailey) or being rendered useless (Ray Lewis).
Dutchie
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Since: 29.1.02
From: PA

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
    Originally posted by BWT
    ...Johnston has turned into a fantastic color man who doesn't rely on the announcer cliches like "I was talking to the coach/player/coordinator/etc..." and actually breaks down the game for you. He is sort of like a Madden how he focuses on the blocking schemes and the little things in the game that I don't pick up on. ...


I'm in complete agreement with this, even though about three-quarters of what Moose talks about in breaking the play down goes over my head. Johnston gives that insight in layman's terms, and also explains why whatever he's talking about is important to the play. But he does it without making one feel stupid about not seeing some key development during the live play.

The thing I can't stand about a majority of these play-by-play guys is that they don't even the plays; half the time I get more information listening for the stadium's announcer as to who made a tackle or who carried/caught the ball. Most of the color guys are just as guilty, adding non-relevant comments over replays. Collinsworth [for whom I will donate a second icepick] has that annoying tendency to harp on that one guy or theme on every single play, regardless of its relevance at any point in time. My only entertainment from that team comes from counting the instances in which Collinsworth directs some comment to Aikman, which the latter ignores in a couple of seconds of awkward dead air. This would also make a fantastic drinking game.

The CBS games usually have Pittsburgh or New England with the Nantz/Simms team. Those two could cure insomnia. They're not a half-bad team at times, they're objective and fair to both teams, but there's just something so repetitive and calming with their deliveries that I could easily doze off during one of their Sunday afternoon broadcasts.

Negative star ratings could abound if they ever decided to run a team with Joe Buck on PBP, Collinsworth on color, and Ron "Jaws" Jaworski on the Siragusa open mike spot. *shudder*



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Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
Are you kidding about Jaworski?? I love him.

My "favourite" part about Tony Siragusa is not the graphic that accompanies his comments, but rather the lettering next to his name, which seems to be in the font style of a Las Vegas casino. Then were was the week where he more or less accused Joey Harrington of being a homosexual. Classy stuff.

I agree with CRZ about Dierdorf and Enberg. DD is much improved since his MNF days...I dunno, maybe it's something about the pressure of Monday nights that gets to people. Boomer Esiason was much improved when he left MNF for CBS radio, Dan Fouts likewise got better (and he was good on MNF to begin with, and just got purged in the unfortunate post-Miller bloodletting).

I like Aikman, don't mind Collinsworth, loathe Joe Buck. Easily the worst 'name' broadcaster in the business today. The next good game he calls will be his first.

My favourite part of Summerall on the ESPN games earlier this year was that even senile old Pat looked good in comparison to those clowns. Even better, whenever Pat made one of his signature totally random non sequiturs, it made Joe and Paul actually shut up for a few minutes to figure out what the hell he meant.



I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits." --- President Jed Bartlett, The West Wing
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Since: 11.11.02
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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.14
    Originally posted by CRZ
    If you REALLY want to get wasted sometime, take a drink every time Paul Maguire says "I want to tell you something," "I gotta tell you," "I tell you" or words to that effect. HE SAYS IT **EVERY** PLAY.

The other thing he does, that absolutely kills me, is start sentences with, "This guy...." It's always "This guy," then a long pause followed with, "this guy is the sort of guy who______."

Whatever follows is always so self-evident that it hurts. Like, "This guy is the sort of guy who":
- always makes tackles.
- is in on the big plays when they need them.
- always runs his routes.
- tries to push through the line to get the quarterback.
- is bipedal.
- has retained his sense of sight.

At some point, I expect him to quote dizzy/drunk Milhouse and say, "This guy... this is the guy." Then Theismann will drunkenly say, "You don't KNOW me!"

The funny thing is that I'd gotten desensitized to all of this, but a buddy of mine came to visit us in late November and watched the ESPN Sunday Night game with me. He'd been in Japan for three years and basically forgotten all the sins of NFL announcers. He was DYING listening to this announce crew. We tried counting the number of times that we heard, "Lemme tell you something..." as a preface, and we ran out of fingers after about 5 minutes.

Another friend of mine came to visit before New Year's, and we also watched the ESPN Sunday Night crew. About forty minutes into it, he turned to me with this look of revelation and said, "You know, I think Theismann thinks he's one of the top 10 quarterbacks of all time." Judging by the way he talks about other quarterbacks, I think this is true. He speaks of quarterbacks with pity, as if he's still gifted far more than they. Last year, he even said something about a current QB maybe being able to throw 60 yards while he -- 20-25 years the senior -- could easily make 65. The man is absolutely deluded, and I think the elevation of the announce booth makes him think that he, metaphorically, sits on high, exalted above mortal quarterbacks. Every time I hear him now, I think the same thing, "Yuk it up, Joe. Even Mark Rypien won a Super Bowl with the Redskins."



The Obtuse Angle Archive.
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Since: 25.2.04
From: Keystone State

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.56
    Originally posted by StegDutchie
    Negative star ratings could abound if they ever decided to run a team with Joe Buck on PBP, Collinsworth on color, and Ron "Jaws" Jaworski on the Siragusa open mike spot. *shudder*


Ever hear Jaws on color commentary? He does Eagles preseason games, usually with some national guy who lives in the Philadelphia area (usually Kenny Albert). Jaworski uses the word "outstanding" so many times that you'd start to think that it's the only adjective that he knows. In fact, I can't think of any praise he's given that hasn't used the word "outstanding". Drinking every time he said the word would lead to a coma by the second quarter.
redsoxnation
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Since: 24.7.02

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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.35
Buck is useless as a baseball announcer, and yet he somehow is even more useless as a football announcer, maybe because he doesn't have McCarver around looking worse than him. However, it was Chris Myers that interviewed Leon during game action in the World Series.
I like Enberg/Dierdorf. However, Dick is getting close to losing his fastball. Unfortunately, Stockton's fastball seems to be going just as quickly.
I think Nantz was a hell of a lot better in the studio for football rather than in the booth. Simms was much better with Enberg and with Gumbel.
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Since: 16.3.04
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.20
Interesting article. I personally like the Stockton/Johnston team for FOX best, and the Dierdorff/Enberg team for CBS best. Stockton has never bothered me, but I'm also used to him doing the play-by-play for TNT, and local Spurs games here in Texas.

I really like Kevin Harlan as well, but I can't listen to Randy Cross. He and Simms have to be the most boring analysts ever.

As much as I hate to agree, Al and John are among the worst. I can't name now many times Al would be fucking up players names in the Green Bay games this year, to the point where you wondered if he was watching the same gay. When you can't say something as simple as KGB, then you have problems.
PsychoticMidget
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Since: 2.12.04
From: Detroit, MI

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.64
Nice article. I have to say though, that while I get this is discussing NFL commentators, Gary Danielson and Brent Musberger are better than any of the NFL crews.
Downtown Bookie
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Since: 7.4.02
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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.28
    Originally posted by CRZ
    I like Enberg and Dierdorf, too - and I HAAAATED Dierdorf when he was on MNF. Either he changed or I changed. Or both....

    The ESPN team totally deserves their rating, though. If you REALLY want to get wasted sometime, take a drink every time Paul Maguire says "I want to tell you something," "I gotta tell you," "I tell you" or words to that effect. HE SAYS IT **EVERY** PLAY

I've loved watching football on TV since I was a child; however, about a decade or so ago I decided that weekend afternoons were created for naps. Because of that I now only watch a handful of football games (either NFL or college) during any given season, so it's possible that the following analysis is totally wrong, based as it is on very limited viewing.

With that said, I too have noticed an improvement in Dierdorf's work; and while I agree with Big Bad's observation:
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    I dunno, maybe it's something about the pressure of Monday nights that gets to people. Boomer Esiason was much improved when he left MNF for CBS radio; Dan Fouts likewise got better (and he was good on MNF to begin with, and just got purged in the unfortunate post-Miller bloodletting).
I think the major improvement in Dierdorf's work is that he no longer begins his analysis with the extremely annoying "Let me tell you what you just saw!". It seemed that Dierdorf used that phrase at least three times a quarter while working Monday Night Football; on the other hand, I don't recall ever hearing him utter those words into a CBS microphone. So, yes, Dierdorf (at least from my observations) has changed in this one area, and anyone who finds such catch-phrases annoying (not to mention condescending) would consider this a huge change for the better.



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JayJayDean
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Since: 2.1.02
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.89
Dear Dick Enberg,

You were the voice of many a sporting event of my youth, from Wimbledon to college basketball to so many NFL games. You are absolutely one of my favorite all-time announcers.

Having said that, please know that JOSH Reed plays wide receiver for Buffalo. The Steelers' kicker is named JEFF Reed. When he's kicking the winning field goal in a playoff game, you might want to get that right ONE TIME.

Sincerely,
JJD

P.S. Please tell Dierdorf that the Steelers took that time out at 2:07 of regulation to save more time on the game clock for their next possession, and prevent the Jets from running the clock down to one minute to go. Thank you.



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I agree that the difference between the ACC and Big East is marginal, if it exists at all, but when the difference means millions and millions of dollars over the course of the 12-year contract, these are hairs that deserve to be split.
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