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The W - Pro Wrestling - Congrats to Lita! (Page 2)
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CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
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#21 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.07
    Originally posted by CarlCX
    I struggled valiantly to take this seriously. I put aside my resentment over the angle and resolved to simply enjoy Matt's decent physical acting.

    And then the "JERRY JERRY" chant started.

    Goddamned crowd, I spit pepsi on my TV.
Maybe the crowd remembered when Jerry Springer helped provide the results of the DNA test that proved Paul Bearer was Kane's father!

(Or...maybe not)



CRZ
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Since: 16.3.04
From: Albuquerque, NM

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#22 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.68
    Originally posted by The Thrill
    Dear God, let it at least be a damn baby this time, and not a friggin' HAND...


I'm still hoping she gives birth to a pile of 8x10s of Sean Stasiak. It worked sooo good in WCW.





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Since: 27.7.03
From: Brooklyn, NY

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#23 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.67
I want a true soap opera angle, nine months long, with fully pregnant Lita, a falsified paternity test, Matt leaving Lita, Lita deciding to marry Kane instead, Matt crashing the shotgun wedding with the TRUE results, a happy wedding (Jeff as best man), then a birth, Kane kidnapping the newborn, then the son returning a year later as a teenager.

Go all out, I say!
vsp
Andouille








Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

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#24 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
I want a Maury Povich-style paternity test where the verdict is "The father is... NEITHER ONE."

Now THAT would interest me.




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Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

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#25 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.44
I'm watching this last night with The Lovely Mrs. Tracker.

HER: "OK, she's not really pregnant right?"
ME: "The character or the wrestler?"
HER: "Either."
ME: "I'm thinking the wrestler ain't."
HER: "Yeah, Matt said she was a little under the weather backstage and here she is dancing on the ramp."
ME: "Yeah, but look at her dance. That looks like someone suffering from something."
HER: "So is the character really pregnant?"
ME: "Dunno. But I have yet to see a wrestling angle where the woman delivers a baby. They either miscarry or are revealed to be lying." [I don't wanna bring up that hand baby.]
HER: "Why lie?"
ME: "Because if wrestling has told me anything, hon, it's that all woman are devilish. And they will suddenly and cruely lie if there's nothing else to be done with either character."
HER: "So wrestling has prepared you for me?"
ME: "Why do you think I locked away all the steel chairs?"

She's already guessing the baby isn't Matt's because of the way this is set-up. And we obviously are meant to think that Matt suspected it because of the way he reacts to Kane. He doesn't laugh it off as ludicrous or insult Kane. He goes into the schoolyard panic of "oh, yeah? well I'll beat you up" and then questions her.

HER: "So the baby will be born next week and go to college the week later and become the newest DIVA from that contest?"
ME: "Yeah, they run on soap-opera time. And Matt will marry their daughter, Kanita, and the Kanita/LIta fights will rival the Torrie/Dawn feud."
HER: "So they could actually do that?"
ME: "Nah. But if they did, there's a perfect lady out there to play that role."
HER: "Daffney?"
ME: "Ten thousand points to you."

So endeth Tracker Dinner Theatre. Try the steak-fried chicken, and please refrain from burping the Kurt Angle theme during the show.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
samoflange
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Since: 22.2.04
From: Cambridge, MA

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#26 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.81
    Originally posted by vsp
    I want a Maury Povich-style paternity test where the verdict is "The father is... NEITHER ONE."

    Now THAT would interest me.



The father is Lita, a la Mrs. Cartman.

With that manly jawline, it makes it extra believable.


On a more seirous note, I really don't mind this angle. Sure its stupid, but the entire thing had me in stiches the whole time last night. I'm intrigued to see where WWE takes this, because there are so many ways it can go. Maybe intrigued isn't the right word, because I sure am not actively thinking about it like I sometimes do with other interesting angles. Passively curious maybe? In any case, As long as it doesn't take over the show at any time, and merely remains an amusing sidestory, I am fine with whole mess.

(edited by samoflange on 22.6.04 1008)


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Since: 3.4.03

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#27 Posted on
My favorite part was that Lita said 'it MIGHT be your baby' as if that would console the poor guy. HA
HairRaiser
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Since: 13.1.03
From: S. Attleboro, MA

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#28 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.63
So long as the payoff includes Matt taking a chair and just bashing Kane's head in, I'm with it. So far he's gotten the Kidman end of the Hogan feud, and at least with a weapon it preserves some of Kane's credibility.

And yes, Matt is single-handedly keeping the acting part of this afloat. If Kane had a handlebar moustache, he'd be twisting it constantly by now. Maybe if Lita actually, you know, produced visible tears it would help too.



March 22, 2004 - Finally the WotD!
JayJayDean
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Since: 2.1.02
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#29 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.92
    Originally posted by Central Park Jobber
    My favorite part was that Lita said 'it MIGHT be your baby' as if that would console the poor guy. HA


At least one can assume that Kane has traded up from ol' Katie Vick.



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Since: 17.11.03
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#30 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.84
See, if you're going to do a pantomime without a mic in front of you, it would have helped if Lita didn't just stand in the ring diisplaying DULL SURPRISE (tm MST3K), as opposed to Matt, who after 30 seconds figured out what he had to do and went into this weird gesture hybrid that was a cross between Desi Arnaz's "ay yi YIIIII", Al Pacino at the end of Godfather III and Macauley Culkin in "Home Alone".

And Lita just stood there.



I did the same thing last week!
FLRockAndLaw
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Central Florida, somewhere between Orlando and Tampa, U.S.A.

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#31 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.82
    Originally posted by meatcurtains
    Come on, doesn't anyone think that Vince is just waiting to turn this into the first 18 year long angle in history, where Kane is forced out of retirement to face Matt Hardy V2.0? It'll be sure to headline WrestleMania 38!


If this is preceded by Kane telling Matt Hardy v2.0, "I'm your father," and then cutting off v2.0's hand at the 2022 Royal Rumble, that angle would sooooooooo freakin' rule. :)



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Since: 8.8.03
From: Canada

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#32 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.96
    Originally posted by meatcurtains
      Originally posted by The Thrill
      Dear God, let it at least be a damn baby this time, and not a friggin' HAND...

    Maybe she'll give birth to fire.


Ow. How does one give birth to a gas?
KaneRobot
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Since: 24.2.02
From: Bowels

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#33 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.86
    Originally posted by RageRockrr
      Originally posted by meatcurtains
      Come on, doesn't anyone think that Vince is just waiting to turn this into the first 18 year long angle in history, where Kane is forced out of retirement to face Matt Hardy V2.0? It'll be sure to headline WrestleMania 38!


    If this is preceded by Kane telling Matt Hardy v2.0, "I'm your father," and then cutting off v2.0's hand at the 2022 Royal Rumble, that angle would sooooooooo freakin' rule. :)


And that would lead to the return of Mae Young's Birthed-Hand, now all grown up. This stuff writes itself!




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Since: 14.7.03
From: Uglyville

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#34 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.60
Which girl has a better work rate in bed: Katie Vick or Lita? More importantly, if she is pregnant, then it means she wasnt the only one blowing her spots! hehehe..





I miss the GWF.
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Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

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#35 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.84
    Originally posted by KaneRobot
      Originally posted by RageRockrr
        Originally posted by meatcurtains
        Come on, doesn't anyone think that Vince is just waiting to turn this into the first 18 year long angle in history, where Kane is forced out of retirement to face Matt Hardy V2.0? It'll be sure to headline WrestleMania 38!


      If this is preceded by Kane telling Matt Hardy v2.0, "I'm your father," and then cutting off v2.0's hand at the 2022 Royal Rumble, that angle would sooooooooo freakin' rule. :)


    And that would lead to the return of Mae Young's Birthed-Hand, now all grown up. This stuff writes itself!


As an added bonus, that would also be an insta-feud between Kane and a returning Mark Henry, since if they BOTH give birth to hands....like you said, this writes itself.



I did the same thing last week!
Wpob
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Since: 21.11.02
From: Williston Park, NY

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#36 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.06
I am intgiued by this angle only because on the potential unbeleivable train wreck at the end and the fact that the Unintentional Comedy Level is off the charts. The acting is SOOO BAD it is a riot. It is so bad it is good. God help me.



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Inigo Montoya: 'kay.
Dahak
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Since: 12.5.02
From: Junction City OR.

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#37 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74
Sorry for the late response this just occurred to me. Why do Matt and Kane need to fight? They can both marry Lita. They can become tag team partners in and out of the ring.



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Since: 18.6.04
From: The Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn, NY

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#38 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.37
You know what the sad thing is? We all know they would have Kane put over the Hand at Wrestlemania.





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Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

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#39 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.21
    Originally posted by Dahak
    Sorry for the late response this just occurred to me. Why do Matt and Kane need to fight? They can both marry Lita. They can become tag team partners in and out of the ring.

I like it, a very mature way of solving the problem without the need in resorting to violence. Young children don't need that so early in life. Come on the kids already behind the 8-ball when his mom had her pregnancy test in an arena bathroom... Kane can change his image, just a little to fit to his new surroundings. He can lighten up and dress more like a raver kid. And do those obnoxious finger gesture that Team Xtreme members do but when raver-Kane does it, he points towards the ring post as it explodes. That would bee kewl!

This could fall under So Bad it's entertaining category. I've never seen so much illogical booking on the fly like this. Matt didn't want nothing to do with Lita, so much so he slammed a cage door on her head, disappears for months, just to save his former girlfriend, get back with her, sleeps with her & possibly impregnates her & ready to propose to her all in a months time... Kane sniffs Lita, attacks Matt, impregnates Lita, has a minor detour for the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, then is back to remind Lita of their night o'passion. Lita is my personal favorite, squash the WOMEN CHAMP with no signs of things on her mind. About 20-minutes later is backstage worried about being pregnant. A week later she's skipping happily into the ring as Matt calls for her ready to accept her ring. Crowd doesn't react to any of it until Kane shows up & gets a pop. One thing is consistent, Kane gets glossy thinking of Lita.

This whole thing reminds me back when I'm in school for English writing class. Our teacher would have us in groups and have one person to start a story then after a few minutes he tells that person to stop and the person next to her to continue and he would continue where she left off and he tells the story for a few minutes until the teacher tells him to stop and for the another person to continue after him... Those stories never made any sense and were usually awful. But they were kind of funny seeing all the illogical and confusing directions it went. So far everything Lita/Matt/Kane reminds me of those classes.



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Since: 14.5.04
From: right behind you

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#40 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.43
    Originally posted by meatcurtains
    Come on, doesn't anyone think that Vince is just waiting to turn this into the first 18 year long angle in history, where Kane is forced out of retirement to face Matt Hardy V2.0? It'll be sure to headline WrestleMania 38!


If you ask me, Wrestlemania 38's main event of Old School Kane vs Matt Hardy Version 2.0 will be the coolest since Wrestlemania 36's Hell in a Cell match between Mecha-Hogan and the Executive Chairman of the WWE; the 300 pound Triple H! Well, Im off to catch Smackdown! in its new timeslot- Saturdays at 3 PM on the Sunshine network! I hear their champion is the coolest yet; who goes by the ring name; "The Literally Deadman that is kept in animation only by the hopes and dreams of us, the viewers" -The Undertaker!

Somewhere in this haunting yet stupid illustration of the future I lost my point, which was; this angle is foolish! It better go somewhere fast- Im guessing the writers just started it when they were sober and since dont know where to take it- so they cant just get rid of it like the Little Johnny angle or countless others cant they? No!Because they put this damn angle in the spotlight!
Blast it, now I feel nauseous...






Eric: "Now to unveil my finishing move; the Bischoff lock!"
Vince: "Let go of me you idiot!"
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On one hand, I can see why they want to use certain guys as cannon fodder for the new talent. On the other, this is hardly The Undertaker dismantling Jimmy Snuka, in that I don't know how much beating Bob Holly or Billy Gunn is going to do for them.
- JoshMann, Smackdown Spoilers (2004)
Related threads: Raw 6-21-04 - RAW WORKRATE REPORT -6/14/04 - RAW Mid-Year Report Card - More...
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