I was watching the 1990 Royal Rumble last night. It's a really good Rumble. But beyond that, while watching it I was thinking. My girlfriend's 10 year old boy is new to wrestling. When we watch old stuff, I try to compare the older guys to guys on the current roster to give him a perspective on the matches. So while watching the 1990 Rumble, I started trying to compare the 1990 roster to the 2013 roster. Some parallels are easy, such as Big Show = Andre and John Cena = Hulk Hogan. But then when it got deeper in to the mid-card it was more difficult.
It's not exactly matching up the personas and gimmicks with their modern counterparts, but more of their current spot on the card. In 1990, Earthquake just debuted as some big ass dude who was kicking people's asses and hadn't really established himself much past that at this time, thus Earthquake = Big E Langston. The Hart Foundation were a mid-card tag team at this point, so = The Usos. I'm trying not to compare the actual ability of the guys, because saying Bret Hart = Jey Uso is almost sickening, but their placement on the card at this time is similar.
Anyway, here's what I got. Thought it might be fun for discussion
Ted Dibiase - Alberto Del Rio (but with his recent face turn, kind of makes that one a bit more difficult)
I greatly wanted to do the Daniel Bryan/Bret Hart comparison, but I was going based on where they are in the card. In 1990, The Hart Foundation were a mid-card face tag team. The only mid-card face tag teams now are The Usos and Kidd/Gabriel, and Kidd/Gabriel are the high flyers, thus they're The Rockers. Hell No is the top face tag team, so they become Demolition.
I miss plain old kick-ass tag teams like Demolition or the Powers of Pain. Just two big dudes who are there to fuck you up. There is nobody like that now, except for maybe Ryback.
I guess what I'm trying to say is wrestling needs more kick ass guys wearing face paint :)
Man, it really puts it into stark contrast how much better 1990 WWF (also a PG-rated endeavour) was at creating distinct 'characters' than the modern-day company, eh? Say what you will about gimmicks or character hooks, but they definitely make the wrestlers stick out more in your mind.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
Originally posted by lotjxMake the Hart Foundation into Team Hell No and you win.
(edited by lotjx on 22.1.13 1653)
Then who is Demolition??
Who the fuck cares?
Those who know a little bit about tag teams in the WWF in early 1990?
Demolition were a huge deal back then! A few weeks after the Royal Rumble they became the (then) first ever three-time tag team champs in history by defeating Andre The Giant (!) and Haku at Wrestlemania (!).
You could slot The Shield in as Demolition and then that would make room for Hell No as the Hart Foundation.
Typing this up made me realize that I want them to change their name to "Hell Yes" and have them be Steve Austin's enforcers.
"Tattoos are the mullets of the aughts." - Mike Naimark
"Don't stop after beating the swords into ploughshares, don't stop! Go on beating and make musical instruments out of them. Whoever wants to make war again will have to turn them into ploughshares first" - Yehuda Amichai
I thought both of these things while watching this. I think we all saw most of this as it was unfolding, but we were too busy banging our heads against the walls because they dragged all this out for NINE stinking months.