Downloaded it on Friday, and I think it's fair to say it's the most awesomely awesome teaser that ever awesomed. This is SO much more the book than the '70s version. Depp looks, sounds and acts just like Wonka should do, much much more impish and weird than Wilder. And the Oompa Loompa song....creepy.
Once upon a time in China, some believe, around the year one double-ought three, head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Pai Mei's infinite power contemplates - which is another way of saying "who knows" - when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all 60 of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's five point palm exploding heart technique.
Yeah, I was waiting on John. I absolutely suck at keeping track of names and my recap woulda been 1,000 of "and then this devil worshipping redhead drinks the old man's poison". -Man, that purging of the firstborns was Biblical.