Originally posted by Stephanie To counteract Kane's push, I have brought in a "student" of mine. So next week, it's Scotty vs. Pyro. Eat that Eric! 2)
Benoit in happier times, before later realizing that while HHH would be in a HIAC match, he would be stuck tag teaming with a retard. 3)
"And do you know what I did then? I started giving away the taping results! Aren't I a genius? If I would have had two more months, I would have conquered Vinnie Mac." After this statement, even Rosey had to roll his eyes. 4)
"How about 'Who betta than Classic?' That'll sell, right?" 5)
Edge deals with the 5 year anniversary in his own way. 6)
No, don't let New Jack, Sandman and Jim Molineaux in the building...just tell them that the check is in the mail...no, for real this time. 7)
Well, I think that Edge will still win the "Whitest Teeth in the WWE" award again this year. But you JBL are still a lock for "Best Buns." 8)
"Now, I know that the name Lita Jacobs doesn't SOUND extreme, but trust me, you could do worse." "I know. Like Lita Jericho?" The two share a hearty guffaw. 9)
Awww, Rey wants me to throw him up and down again just like in ECW. Come on, lil guy. 10)
Hey, guess who just shat in Sable's gym bag...AGAIN? 11)
I guess I don't have to tell you who just collected the bounty on Goldberg. To splurge, I just bought 20 women off of Snoop Dogg.
(edited by Torchslasher on 30.5.04 1741) Joe Wilson (looking at Interocitor manual)- Hey, here's something my wife could use in the house... Crow T. Robot- A man? Joe Wilson- An interocitor incorporating an electron sorter. Cal Meechum- Oh, she'd probably gain 20 pounds while it did all the work for her. Tom Servo- Cal, you bitch!
Yes, this leg cast is uncomfortable. Yes, I can't go to the toilet unaided. Yes, I just crapped myself. Will ya stop asking questions? 2)
Benoit enjoyed playing with his World Heavyweight Championship belt themed swing set. Benoit: "Wheeeee!"
Try as he might, Eric Bischoff just couldn't turn the Raw superstars' attention from the HLA show taking place behind him. Except The Hurricane. I've always wondered about that guy... 4)
Classic: "Hey son, I've just been in that room with Missy Hyatt. Here, smell my finger. Chavo: *shudders* 5)
Edge's attempts to start a new 'ladder-climbing' dance craze left a lot to be desired. 6)
Heyman: "Hey, who replaced my hand with a minature roast chicken? 7)
Cole: "No, seriously. That chick said I totally look like a shorter Tom Selleck." JBL: "I refuse to believe it." 8)
Kane: "That do anything for you?" 9)
Bubba: "Hey, D-Von! Look, Taker shrunk about 3 foot and put on a mask!" 10)
Torrie was deep in thought as Show asked her whether this was his good side or not. 11)
Vince: "And for 24 monthly payments at the low, low price of $24.95, you too can own 16 hookers and a briefcase with a quarter of a million in counterfeit bills. Don't hesitate, our operators are standing by right now to take your Visa or Mastercard details now..."
1) Angle: I'm obviously important. See - my name is floating above my head.
2) Benoit: Actually, Hunter, when I hold the Title above my head, I'M the taller one.
3) Eric Bischoff stumbles upon a rare mingling of Main-Event, mid-card, and low-level workers. Sensing the awkwardness of the moment, decides that just walking away would be in everyone's best interest.
4) Classic: Son, you don't want to know where this finger has been. Jr: Aw man!
5) Edge gives up his day job to become The Blue Wizard and summon beams of blue-tinted light. (You can book him to do childrens' parties!)
6) Heyman: Holy shit! What's happening to my hand?
7) Cole: You bloated piece of shit. BookerT should have been in the title feud, but your damn Texan ass had to get involved. You make me sick. Bradshaw: Yep.
8) Kane: Lita, baby, I love spooning. Lita: Wrong hole!
9) Rey tries to convince Bubba that he (Rey) is Captain Planet. Bubba, playing along, gives the sarcastic thumbs-up.
10) BigShow: Hmm - Torrie, I could make you look ten years younger. Just a little eyeliner here, some toner there. Gosh, I'm a makeup wonder!
11) Vince: I know you all hate reality TV. But, really, this is going to be WWE-style Reality TV. Remember the XFL, and how great WWE-style football was? Or the WBF and how great WWF-style bodybuilding was? Trust us. We get paid to come up with this crap, after all.
"ScreamingHeadGuy, don't fear the wang. Know the wang. Embrace the wang. BE the wang....." - heed the wisdom of DEAN
Paul Heyman was less than pleased to discover his character had been written out of Rollerball II
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Kurt blows his Kojak audition when the lollipop gets stuck in his hands.
Benoit: "Simon sez: raise your heavyweight belt in the air with both hands..." HHH: "You cheating mothercanucker..."
Looking at his locker room, Bischoff wishes he had his old WCW manual, How to Deal with Cruiserweights.
The Guerreros' brief attempt to resurrect South Park's favorite boy band, Fingerbang, end with just one awkward rehearsal.
The Palomino fires a thruster to move around the stern of the Cygnus, while Edge can't believe he got booked to play V.I.N.C.E.N.T.
As Paul sees his right hand transform into the King of the Sea Monkeys, he places an urgent call to his absinthe distributor.
With nothing better to do, investigative reporter Geraldo Rivera finally confronts John Bradshaw Layfield as to how he can, in good conscience, be a true West Texas Redneck, in a suit and tie, and refusing to take a stance on the "rap is crap" issue.
The second Gwyneth Paltrow/Huey Lewis karaoke movie didn't go quite as well...
Bubba is pleased to find his Rey Mysterio action figure is actually the real Rey Mysterio, accidentally packaged and sold.
Coming soon: Ron Jeremy does stalker porn in Behind Closed Doors: The Craftsman Tool Cabinet Convention.
"Hello. I'm Vince McMahon. This is a message to Mr. Michael Powell of the Federal Communications Commission. We here at World Wrestling Entertainment would be happy to arrange for your personal amusement, some 'wardrobe malfunctions,' if you will. Let's do business, shall we?"
Star wipe, and...we're out. Thrillin' ain't easy.
THE THRILL ACW-NWA Wisconsin Home Video Technical Director...& A2NWO 4 Life! (Click the big G or here to hear the Packers Fight Song in RealAudio...or try .AU, .WAV or .MIDI!)
You may be wondering why my leg is still broken. Well, to be honest, for those of you who have been living under a rock on mars with you fingers in your ears for the last few months....its my neck. 2)
Erm, the fans are over there Chris. 3)
What is this, the Smackdown reunion party? 4)
Im nearly 60 and im the cruiserweight champion...who's the idiot now! 5)
Is my singles push over here? 6)
I would like to order a black NY baseball cap please....NO IN BLACK YOU IDIOT! 7)
In 1999, as one half of the Acolytes and a member of the Ministry, you sacrificed several innocent individuals. How American is that Mr. Layfield? 8)
Kane:I know what your thinkin...this is weird...we're on live TV! 9)
Hey lets do that stupid dancing thing you used to do when you were a singles wrestler on Raw two years ago right before the creative team thought you sucked a singles wrestler and put you back with D-Von in an emotional reunion at Madison Square Garder in New York City at Survivor Series 2002 and by the way i was at that event and.... 10)
Oh crap, Kidman is your husband right?...I'm outta here!!! 11)
That's right 250,000 dollars for just looking good and 100,000 for putting your health at risk and taking out Goldberg.
When I'm done with being the GM of Smackdown I'm going to become the new MR. CLEAN!
Beniot: You tapped! Tripple H's reponce to those simple words are eight mintues of grunting.
Eric: Now that everbody is here, wait a second, where is Evolution? Shelton: Yo, Eric, the main event heels never show up to these meetings.
Chavo Classic the new revolutionizing force in sports entertainment!
Edge has to be thinking to himself that this looked cooler with Rob Zombie theme.
Security! Security! We have an unauthorized person in the back! Brock Lesnar!
Micheal Cole: So, Bradshaw, you relize that on Smackdown in Canada that your still on the NORTH AMERICAN continent.
Kane: I love getting to touch women angles! Make Kane Happy!
Bubba: Pip Sqeak! Rey: Two words, GIANT KILLER!
Torrie: Your gruesome! Big Show: Do I have something in my teeth?
Sluts, hoes, horrors, and any actual women listening that can understand the words coming out of my mouth.
***NOTE*** Any actual women reading the last caption it is not ment to OFFEND you as a woman. It is ment for the sole purpose of the women above in the photo which probably are all smarter than me anyways. Thank you.
As hilarious as that Lockdown promo is, TNA ain't the first to use that voice-over. The then-WWF had the exact same set-up for the Unforgiven 99 ads, talkng about "knights" and "warriors" and all sortsa medieval crap.