2) Brock: Sorry Kurt, not tonight, I have a headache.
3) Cena: Just when ya thought I couldn't get more looney, it's time for me to do the Cenaroonie!
4) Eddie: No kidding, ese! They left the keys in it! Man, I don't even have to try anymore.
5) Edge: That's right, Funaki. While I'm healing my neck, I'm going to be doing the backstage interviews instead of you! Don't look so shocked, it's not your fault, you just don't have the teeth for the job.
6) HHH: *thinking* Hansen's Energy Drink did wonders for X-Pac's career, didn't it?
7) Jericho: Welcome to the Highlight Reel, Shawn! Now, my first question for you is.. Shawn: Am I the only person you can ever get as a guest? Jericho: Hey, I'm asking the questions here, jerky!
8) Rock: Bravo.. *clap clap clap*
Rico: The black hole of charisma.. is sucking me in! No! No! NOOOOOOOO!
1) Albert: I want that report on my desk pronto Benoit! Benoit: Yes Giant Incarnation of Mr. Spacely! (What, they'll get worse, I promise.)
2) Angle: And look at the mess it made on the floor!
3) Cena: And to honor King Kong Bundy, even though he's alive, I'm gonna make the damn referee count all the way to five.
4) Eddie: I am arbitrarily shining my car that you rented tonight. Vince: My limo has you blocked in. Show: I'm standing behind all to look all the much more impressive. Sable: Why are you all stating the obvious?
5) Edge: Just because my name is on my shirt and hat doesn't make me a retard or nothin'.
6) Seconds later, HHH went crazy due to the high amounts of "energy" supplied by his beverage and tried to eat the brick wall behind him, injuring his groin yet again in the process.
7) Jericho: You know, your wife used to do the craziest things backstage during Nitro. HBK: Don't you dare... Jericho: Like one time, she ate 22 hot dogs and then kept drawing pictures of Meng and the Barbarian pooping on a chess board. HBK: Oh, well, that is pretty peculiar.
8) Sadly, the Rock's troubles with the sauce led to embarassing situations like this, where he started applauding the guy with the shirt cannon.
Rico: After this, let's go back to my room and drink a few cans of bug spray.
Kane celebrates the fact that there used to be days where you couldn't electricute mens' genitalia during prime time.
Albert: Come on, man, you know how it goes. I'm big, so you lose to me. Benoit: I don't know. It's just so...strange. Albert: Would you forget the peircings and pay attention?
Angle: What was that? Brock: I made a doody. Angle: And what are you supposed to do after you make a doody? Brock: Flush it. Angle: That's right, Brock. Flush it. Now go to your locker room. No Heavyweight Title for you tonight.
Cena: That's right. You can't see...woah...look at that. Duuuuude...it's like...my hand is the hand of the Universe. I've got to stop hanging out with RVD....
Eddie: Look at this thing, man! Pimped out in the LWO Colors, I can't WAIT for us to reform. Vince: Eddie, I hate to break it to you, but the LWO will never...ever reform. Eddie: What are you loco, esse? Sable: I don't get it, is he supposed to be like those Cheap and Kong guys? Eddie: Be careful I don't hit you with this belt, mamacita.
Funaki: Holy crap! Edge! Edge: That's right, I'm going to be making random apparences on Smackdown with my name on my hat and shirt to remind people that I still exist. Funaki: I forgot you! Edge: That's Ok, Funaki. Now if you ever forget me again, you can just read my shirt.
HHH: Hey, listen, just because I'm almost married to my boss' daughter and I drink bees doesn't mean I don't still get the hot chicks. Right ladies? Red: We're getting paid to stand here, but see this? It's mace, try anything when the cameras are off and you're dead. HHH: Whoa-ho! I like 'em fiesty. Nobody's sprayed me with mace in bed since Joanie and I broke up. Blue: *sniff* I miss that too. HHH: X-Pac?
Y2J: Now, the thousand dollar question, junior, why the hell do you keep coming out for this segment? HBK: Vince says that if I do this lame segment five more times I get my choice between another WWE Title run or a pony. Y2J: You suppose I could get a pony? HBK: Not until you're older, young man.
Rock: No, no, seriously. That was great. Amazing. The Rock hasn't seen anything as cool as that since he saw his new movie "The Rundown" Lilian: I just announced your name... Rock: And you called me "The Tock", but seriously, that was great. You have me falling over in amazement, just like audiences will be falling over in amazement at my new movie "The Rundown" Opening September 26th.
Rico: So then they told me that I'd be entertaining if I just put on the Ultimate Warrior Make-up and pranced around. Storm: Oh yeah, well they put me with Goldust. Rico: He's over, that's not so bad. Storm: And then I spent the better part of two hours with a midget humping my leg. Rico: That's harsh. Alright. You win. Your gimmick is worse. Jackie, let's go back to Heat, baby.
(edited by Excalibur05 on 9.9.03 0455) Wisconsin Badgers: 2-0 (Uh...Akron? Defense, don't allow that many points ever again. Now if Lee Evans could score from the one every week, that'd be great)
Minnesota Vikings: 1-0 (Had me scared there at the end, but the defense was mega-solid, and the offense looked good. Dare I hope for a good year?)
Originally posted by KawshenI think I figured out what to finally call these things. It's been a while so let get to the captions.
1) I want YOU...to shave my back 2) Look Brock, I dont care if you ever come back, you lied to me, just...just go! 3) Damn I cant think of anything that rhymes with proctologist....or John Cena breaks up with his girlfriend in front of a stunned audience. 4) Vince: Yeah I like what I see, now come on work the belt, work the belt. 5) Funaki: Geez Edge I didn't know you were a vampire 6) HHH is starting to realize that though these women are attractive, the YJ Stinger is not transforming them into a trio of Stephs 7) Jericho: Hey Shawn...you got spike on your butt 8) The Rock start feeling the rhythm as the hoe down continues 9)
Storm: Is it me or did the Ultimate Warrior get a lot fruitier really quickly.
(edited by Doc_whiskey on 9.9.03 0708)
(edited by Doc_whiskey on 9.9.03 0803) Mr. Burns: You are of course familiar with our state usury laws? Homer:U-sur-y? Mr. Burns: Oh silly me, I must have just used a word that doesn't exist.
Mallrats 2:Electric Boogaloo A-Train: Smell my finger. Benoit: Mmmmmmmm, chocolate pretzels? A-Train: I love chocolate pretzels!
Kurt: I won Olympic gold, it's real. For the last time it's not chocolate in a wrapper!
John Cena: I started a joke, that started the whole world crying, but I couldn't see the joke was on me.
Eddie: I'm more than a stereotype Vince. I'm a person. Vince: Tru dat holmes!
Narrator: Try new "Colgate Simply White Night", it whitens teeth in just 14 days! Get a free Edge shirt and small Japanese man while supplies last!
HHH and the Trix perform a classic song they cover on their new album "Feel the Sting". HHH: She's leaving. The Trix: Leavin'. HHH:On that midnight train to Georgia The Trix: Leavin' on that midnight train.
Y2J: If you send in your money, God will save a place in heaven for you, can I get an Amen! Crowd: Amen! HBK: This is not a man of the Church! Crowd: What! Y2J: Marketing Baby!
Rock: Yea, I'm on TV, yea. Where is my helmet? Yea, it's my birthday!
Rico: Gay Warriors! Lance: Your gimmick is so recycled! Rico: Oh yeah, I'm over. I'm getting my own show, it's called "Fake Queer Eye, for the Boring Guy". Your my first make over! Lance: Can I have my Power Ranger tights back?
"I KNOW it was you who shaved my back! God damn Chris, that's what my whole career is based on!"
Kurt: "How many times have I told you. Do NOT drink my milk without my permission!" Brock: "Yes Dad."
Eddie: "Hey essa, I see we both take pride in our antiques!"
Edge: "Hey Funaki, want to know the best part about all the merchandise I'm wearing? It says 'Edge'." Funaki: "..."
HHH (to all three girls): "I guess what they say is true: bees are attracted to sweet things (winks)."
Girl #1: "Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever"
Jericho: "Uh, Shawn? I need a new catchphrase." Shawn: "How about self-righteous ass?" Jericho: "Nah, Ass-Clown is too close to that..." Shawn: "Hmm...self-righteous son of a bitch?" Jericho: "Is there a more obscure way of saying "self righeous"?" Shawn: "Sactimonous?" Jericho: "Bingo!"
Rock (thinking): "Just clap and pretend that the YJStinger commericial was a good one! Heh, I get blockbuster movies, and HHH gets a lame commericial. Who won that one?"
Our main event is a Divas match! KELLY KELLY vs. BRIE BELLA - and I suspect NIKKI will be in there somewhere Also tonight: WADE BARRETT and his new rose take on YOSHI TATSU and his...err...shock of red hair EVAN BOURNE is alone tonight!