1. Even Santino is surprised at the ferocity of Titus' oral loving
2. Daniel Bryan: My Vege-patty? i like it like my tag team partners. Burnt to a crisp
3. Paul can't bring himself to tell Punk that he shaved a chunk out of the back of his hair
4. Punk: How drunk ARE you AJ!?
5. Paul: As drunk as you are, i must look pretty good right now right?
6. It may be the booze talking, but you're by far the hamdsomen.... handsore....most handson..... prettiest ref i've ever hired.
7. DZ: Now squeeeeeeeel like a pig boy!
8. Shotput variant No. 12. MAN-put
9. After his near fatal accident, Jerry's dormant chameleon powers manifest on national television
10. Mid-match, Tyson discovers that the nectar of the gods is leaking from Wade's fingertips, and takes appropriate action.
11. Kane enjoys Daniel Bryan's freakout after he laced his salad with a whole galaxy of multicoloured Uppers, Downers, Screamers, and Laughers.
12. Beth 's new left arm graft was not as well integrated as she'd imagined, leading to her retirement from the sport.
13. Eve: That wasn't your arm at all! That was a person!! Beth: Sort of. We're trying Alicia out in different roles, since she's been pretty damn average ever since she stopped being Edge's wedding planner.
1. Paul: And then i says to Mable i says..... wait.. there actually was a Mable here wasn't there?
2. Punk's AJ/Paul/Live television/wrestling ring/being 3 feet away fetish finally makes all these weeks of being WWE champ worth it.
3. AJ is now sober.
4. DB: teehee, Yo Shelby, did you hear me BURN Kane!! Wahahaha Double BURN!!! Triple BURN!!!! Endless cycle of BUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!
5. Punk's inner rage is dangerously close to causing Mick to lose another body part. One that will make it more difficult to hold a mic
6. Punk: THIS close Mick..... this... close...
7. Jerry's pimped-out bathroom was definitely the place for this interview.
8. Team Teamwork suffers from "Redundancy Department of Redundency" syndrome.
9. So later, i'm gonna scream "real men wear pink"... and we're all just going to go with it, ok?
10. Punk: Real men wear what they WANT to wear, not what they think makes them unique, or stand out, or conform to a fashionista's latest whim!
11. Punk: I mean, THINK about it. If he'd liked Pink previously, why wouldn't he have worn it BEFORE the cancer promotion thing??? The only acceptable Pink thing to wear is the singer, cause i'd wear her the way i wear MY WWE Title, wrapped around my waist. Am I right or am i right? OR Cena has an idea, that's shaped like a lead pipe.
Three oinkers wearing pants, a plate of hot air, a basket of grandma's breakfast and change a bull to a gill, got it.
*sigh* Maybe Vince IS just the luckiest idiot in the history of wrestling promoters... But then, given the past two years, no one should have any reason to expect any better out of this promotion. -Patrick