Once again, thanks to the WWE Facebook group. Full gallery of 13 is at Imgur (imgur.com)
I can tell I need to beg you, so here we go: I BEG you to ONLY caption the ones you feel you are able. YOU DO NOT - AND PROBABLY SHOULD NOT - ATTEMPT TO WRITE 13 CAPTIONS. Even I should not, but I feel a sense of obligation to prove to you that I'm funny (at least once).
Once again, remove "quote" tags if replying - let's keep the width at 600px or under (click on images to see full size versions if you desire)
1. "Wait, what's that say? '...#RAW?'"
2. "Hey! You went to the Big&Tall shop I recommended in that online review! NICE"
3. "Man...so much oil on my shoulders now..."
4. "So! It was YOU who told them to turn me into Xavier: Renegade Angel!" "Me? Do I LOOK like I watch Adult Swim instead of Galavisíon?"
5. "ANOTHER chinlock photo? I'm already out of ideas." "Here, let me massage your gums and see if that stimulates your creativity center"
6. "That didn't work? Here, let me try to put your gums on the mat and see what that does." (No, really...I got nothing. Maybe something about "Jaziel")
7. "Wait - am I a babyface tonight?"
8. "My God - your ACTING ABILITY!"
9. "Does it really take an entire ad break to put a turban in a glass box? Hey, wait...is this LIVE? If it doesn't say LIVE down there I can't be totally sure"
10. "And I'm going to KEEP beating on you until they take a backstage shot of Layla DISAPPROVING OF IT!"
11. "Hey, you're right, Sheamus - from this angle Otunga DOES reflect more light than you do"
12. (choose your favourite lumberjack): "Ooh! Feels so good to be in a live RAW main event!"
13. Tensai longed for Titus' attention, and tried and tried, but it was too loud in the room. All he could manage was a fleeting yet tender touch on the back of his broad shoulders. He would have to try another time. It was all right. He was worth the wait.
1. "When in Boston, I always make sure to wear green. Wait, we're where? Crap."
2. "See what hulimiating yourself gets you Big Show! You're in the opening segment of RAW!"
3. "What does the script say now..5 knuckle shuffle and then pin. Got it."
4. Santino: "Of course this is a real cobra!!" Ricardo: "Do I look like an idiot?"
5. "Smile Damnit!"
6. As Orton goes for the RKO, the crowd goes mild. 7. Sigh. I miss X-Pac 8. Your acting is sooo bad that I am in pain being in this scene with you. 9. I wonder if this run with a belt will be longer than my last run. Naaah. 10. The Ref: "Um Beth? Vince just told me that now he wants you to crawl around the ring on all fours, bark like a dog and then kiss her. No, really." 11. This match was so bad even John Cena could not bear to watch it. 12. What are the spotlights focused on? 13. Dolph Ziggler sees a way out of this mess and makes a mad dash out of the ring
(edited by Wpob on 21.5.12 2149) Life is hilariously cruel.
13. Okay, everyone line up according to reverse card status for a team picture. Ziggler? Wait your turn, back toward the middle. Truth and Swagger? Work your way closer to the announcers, please. Drew? You're perfect, pal.
1. "So...wait. You said you signed Show on Saturday, but last week the Board of Directors said anyone interfering would be fired. This doesn't make any---oh forget it."
2. After dawdling with his attire for fifteen minutes backstage, Show inexplicably decides to not only go with no tie but to leave the top two buttons undone. Johnny, shockingly, approves.
3. "...wait, no, this is really bothering me. I made it a point to read out loud to the crowd the stipulation laid down by the Board of Directors that said anyone interfering would be fired. If you signed him Saturday night, then he should be fired. Right?"
4. Santino: "I'm-a here to tell-a you that I did-a not-a mean anything I said-a in-a my video for the Be a Star campaign-a!" *commences unprovoked bullying*
8. AJ: "...and *sniff* and then he said he hired Big Show back on Saturday but if that was true he'd be fired because they said anyone interfering in the match on Sunday would be fired but then they just ignored it and Michael Cole said he only verbally signed him but that still necessitates a verbal agreement---why can't they just keep this stuff straight for one week?!" CM Punk: *sobbing* "I know...I know."
9. Christian shows us the bemused look he was going to have before the original plan of being squashed by Brodus Clay was replaced with him winning a belt just because they wanted to swerve the audience.
10. Beth: "Five years. Five years and you still don't know how to hit the ropes. You didn't even manage to learn it by accident. Unreal."
11. I don't actually have a caption, but Sheamus has been getting fat and nobody seems to want to talk about it. Seriously, look at him.
12. Cena: " *NNNF* NO! I have to go find out why Show wasn't fired! It doesn't make any sense!" Swagger: "No, John! Let it go! LET! IT! GO!"
13. A rupture in the space-time continuum results in a temporal displacement that shows us next year's pre-show battle royal at Wrestlemania. Not pictured: Ryback, who's already been eliminated.
And now, as a bonus, here it is: your moment of Zen.
Note: I was really hoping the original photoset would include a screen capture of Laurinitis in his rascal backstage right before the commercial break preceding the main event. He had the biggest smile on his face and it matched the People Power logo perfectly. It was WONDERFUL.
The opening triple threat was so good. It set an impossible bar for the rest of the show. It did everything an opening match should do by making me say, in a good way, "man, if the opener is this great I wonder what can possibly top it later?