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20.8.14 0006
The W - Pro Wrestling - Boy have I got some HOT news!!
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The Informant
Medisterpoelse








Since: 26.8.03
From: Parts Unknown, Canada

Since last post: 4011 days
Last activity: 4003 days
#1 Posted on
*DISCLAIMER*
What you are about to read is information from the world's greatest informant. Reading this may cause you to learn invaluble information that should be kept strictly confidential. Any truth stated here is completely coincidental.Hey there mat fans, it's me, the Informant. I have some very close sources at the WWE (I don't want to name names but it's Jerald Brisco, Carl DeMarco and Stuart Stone) and therefore I am here to bring you the LATEST happenings in the world of pro wrestling!

A MacMatch made in MacHeaven!

It's official, Linda MacMahon has filed for a divorce! Vince has tried many times and has been unsuccessful, but this time it's the real thing. I know what you're thinking, if Linda leaves Vince, then she will lose her share of the WWE. WRONG. Linda is leaving Vince for none other then......
......SHANE MACMAHON!!! Yes, it is definatley disgusting but this will give Linda 50% of the former WCW. Expect Linda and Shane's WCW to go head to head with Vince's WWE. As for consimating the marriage......

Forget the Battle of the Bulge, How about the Battle of the BALD!?!

As most of you already know, Goldberg will be crowned WWE champion at Unforgiven. But who will be his first challenger? Well, for those of you who saw RAW this past monday, you will have noticed a young superstar getting quite a push. That's right, I'm talking about MAVEN. Be on the lookout for the former Tough Enough star, along with his new manager/best friend HBK Shawn Micheals, to head straight for the top. Who's next? Maven's next!

Goldberg's Looking Up....Literaly!

Speaking of Goldberg, he was very distraught backstage at Sumer Slam after his big loss in the Elimination chamber. Since his friend in the WWE are far and few between, Bill had to look in other places for some sympathy and companionship. Luckily for him WWE booker Pat Paterson was close by to offer advice. He slipped Goldberg a copy of a book....THE BOOK.... and was on his way. Needless to say, the next night on Raw, Bill was feeling much better. I'd rather have the "Man upstairs" then Harvey Wippleman in my corner anyday!

Has the WWE gone APE?!
You knew it was just a matter of time before every human being capible of thaking a good bump was an active star on the WWE roster. But have no fear. Vince has recently signed a new superstar, and he's even hairier than the A-Train. That's right! Expect to see the first non-human competitor to join the Smackdown! ranks in months to come. Lance the Gorilla is 6'8 and weighs over 450 lbs.! He is currently in traing camp and is sure to be a big hit. When asked why the WWE would want a Gorilla competing for the strap, publicisists repiled "because he's willing to work for banana's".

Well, that's all I've got for now, but continue to keep your eyes locked on this board for the latest news. Untilll then, please keep this confidential!



"Remember, if you heard it here, it might be true"!
Promote this thread!
JST
Toulouse








Since: 20.1.02
From: Quebec City, CAN

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 22 hours
#2 Posted on
Sigh ...



thefraserman
Goetta








Since: 17.7.02
From: Nanaimo, British Columbia

Since last post: 749 days
Last activity: 1 day
#3 Posted on
Why do people waste their time making this shit up?

God damn, next time I see a one hit wonder made a post, I'm just gonna hit back without reading it.
CANADIAN BULLDOG
Andouille








Since: 5.3.03
From: TORONTO

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 480 days
ICQ:  
#4 Posted on
It's been done.....



King Kong Bundy to return? Montreal screwjob really just a work? None of these questions, plus more, in the latest Inside The Ropes!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
The official Online Onslaught Inside The Ropes archive!!!
geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 2 hours
AIM:  
#5 Posted on
Well, considering you can't even spell GERALD right....
thefraserman
Goetta








Since: 17.7.02
From: Nanaimo, British Columbia

Since last post: 749 days
Last activity: 1 day
#6 Posted on
Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA!
FurryHippie
Frankfurter








Since: 29.10.02
From: New York

Since last post: 2915 days
Last activity: 1603 days
AIM:  
#7 Posted on
I hate to say it but some of that shit was pretty funny (Sorry Bulldog)
TalusMZ
Tocino








Since: 21.11.02
From: Los Angeles, CA

Since last post: 1351 days
Last activity: 682 days
#8 Posted on
I'm just waiting for HotNewz to feud with this Informant for the gimmick.

And we all start out as onehits, don't we?

-TMZ
DONUTDREAMS
Pinkelwurst








Since: 27.3.02
From: My house

Since last post: 3492 days
Last activity: 236 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
Congratulations! Thanks to you, I no longer have to imagine what eye rape must feel like!

(not that I did before or intend to later, mind you)



donuts baby donuts
StampedeFan23
Morcilla








Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada

Since last post: 1988 days
Last activity: 1524 days
#10 Posted on
CRZ, he's over there. Thanks!



Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?

I mark for Molly Holly and Lance Storm.
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 23 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#11 Posted on

    Originally posted by thefraserman
    Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA!


Crap, does that mean the card's in cuneiform? Knew I shoulda paid attention in school...



Today's Out-Of-Context Quote, Courtesy of hardygrrl:

"...between the grime layer and the Seventies game show host hair, I'd rather rim Undertaker after a White Castle/Schlitz bender."
Melon' Head
Bauerwurst








Since: 27.7.03
From: Toledo ohio

Since last post: 3122 days
Last activity: 3101 days
#12 Posted on
I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true.
vsp
Andouille








Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2969 days
Last activity: 183 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00

    Originally posted by The Informant
    Expect to see the first non-human competitor to join the Smackdown! ranks in months to come. Lance the Gorilla is 6'8 and weighs over 450 lbs.! He is currently in training camp and is sure to be a big hit. When asked why the WWE would want a gorilla competing for the strap, publicists replied "because he's willing to work for bananas."


This blows it right there. Everyone knows that Vince would go after Original Ape Virgon or City Monkey _long_ before signing a complete unknown.

(Should've written this a month earlier... you could've announced a cross-promotional Spike TV tie-in, changing the name of the PPV to SUMMERSLAMBALL.)




"When WCW tries to be racy, it's generally about as light-heartedly entertaining as watching a man rape a woman in a chicken yard." -- Dark Cheetah
tasslex
Salami








Since: 15.10.02
From: Eagan, MN

Since last post: 3599 days
Last activity: 3556 days
#14 Posted on

    Originally posted by drjayphd

      Originally posted by thefraserman
      Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA!


    Crap, does that mean the card's in cuneiform? Knew I shoulda paid attention in school...


hahahahahahaha



I donít go to sleep at night, I job to my blankets.

When my mom dies I'd like to know it was peacefully in her sleep, and not fucked to death by 38 men with AIDS.
darkmatcher
Bockwurst








Since: 12.2.03
From: New York, USA

Since last post: 2611 days
Last activity: 1687 days
#15 Posted on

    Originally posted by Melon' Head
    I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true.


Damn, got to it first.
I never did like that guy, but for some reason always looked foward to reading his column first. It does seem like his teases never came true, though some times its hard to understand what he's getting at.



what you say
Craigerson
Cotechino








Since: 4.8.03
From: Maryland

Since last post: 2993 days
Last activity: 2991 days
AIM:  
#16 Posted on

    Originally posted by darkmatcher

      Originally posted by Melon' Head
      I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true.


    Damn, got to it first.
    I never did like that guy, but for some reason always looked foward to reading his column first. It does seem like his teases never came true, though some times its hard to understand what he's getting at.



He could have at least taken the time to get the name right...it's the Informer isn't it?
UnsUwe
Chourico








Since: 6.7.02
From: Germany

Since last post: 500 days
Last activity: 143 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#17 Posted on
I found this pretty funny!

So why do you all reply if it bothers you so much? Oh yeah I forgot, great way to raise your posts account, right? Duh......



Sweet dreams......
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Wow, that cameraman did NOT look happy about having to be so close to that. lol.
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