The Informant
Medisterpoelse
  
   
  
  
 
Since: 26.8.03
From: Parts Unknown, Canada
Since last post: 3559 days
Last activity: 3552 days
|  #1 Posted on 26.8.03 1832.00 | *DISCLAIMER*
What you are about to read is information from the world's greatest informant. Reading this may cause you to learn invaluble information that should be kept strictly confidential. Any truth stated here is completely coincidental.Hey there mat fans, it's me, the Informant. I have some very close sources at the WWE (I don't want to name names but it's Jerald Brisco, Carl DeMarco and Stuart Stone) and therefore I am here to bring you the LATEST happenings in the world of pro wrestling!
A MacMatch made in MacHeaven!
It's official, Linda MacMahon has filed for a divorce! Vince has tried many times and has been unsuccessful, but this time it's the real thing. I know what you're thinking, if Linda leaves Vince, then she will lose her share of the WWE. WRONG. Linda is leaving Vince for none other then......
......SHANE MACMAHON!!! Yes, it is definatley disgusting but this will give Linda 50% of the former WCW. Expect Linda and Shane's WCW to go head to head with Vince's WWE. As for consimating the marriage......
Forget the Battle of the Bulge, How about the Battle of the BALD!?!
As most of you already know, Goldberg will be crowned WWE champion at Unforgiven. But who will be his first challenger? Well, for those of you who saw RAW this past monday, you will have noticed a young superstar getting quite a push. That's right, I'm talking about MAVEN. Be on the lookout for the former Tough Enough star, along with his new manager/best friend HBK Shawn Micheals, to head straight for the top. Who's next? Maven's next!
Goldberg's Looking Up....Literaly!
Speaking of Goldberg, he was very distraught backstage at Sumer Slam after his big loss in the Elimination chamber. Since his friend in the WWE are far and few between, Bill had to look in other places for some sympathy and companionship. Luckily for him WWE booker Pat Paterson was close by to offer advice. He slipped Goldberg a copy of a book....THE BOOK.... and was on his way. Needless to say, the next night on Raw, Bill was feeling much better. I'd rather have the "Man upstairs" then Harvey Wippleman in my corner anyday!
Has the WWE gone APE?!
You knew it was just a matter of time before every human being capible of thaking a good bump was an active star on the WWE roster. But have no fear. Vince has recently signed a new superstar, and he's even hairier than the A-Train. That's right! Expect to see the first non-human competitor to join the Smackdown! ranks in months to come. Lance the Gorilla is 6'8 and weighs over 450 lbs.! He is currently in traing camp and is sure to be a big hit. When asked why the WWE would want a Gorilla competing for the strap, publicisists repiled "because he's willing to work for banana's".
Well, that's all I've got for now, but continue to keep your eyes locked on this board for the latest news. Untilll then, please keep this confidential!
"Remember, if you heard it here, it might be true"!| Promote this thread! |           | JST
Liverwurst
 
Since: 20.1.02
From: Quebec City, CAN
Since last post: 29 days
Last activity: 17 hours
| #2 Posted on 26.8.03 1838.41 | Sigh ...
 | thefraserman
Goetta
Since: 17.7.02
From: Nanaimo, British Columbia
Since last post: 297 days
Last activity: 184 days
| #3 Posted on 26.8.03 1909.39 | Why do people waste their time making this shit up?
God damn, next time I see a one hit wonder made a post, I'm just gonna hit back without reading it. | CANADIAN BULLDOG
Andouille
Since: 5.3.03
From: TORONTO
Since last post: 30 days
Last activity: 28 days
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| #4 Posted on 26.8.03 1917.55 | It's been done.....
King Kong Bundy to return? Montreal screwjob really just a work? None of these questions, plus more, in the latest Inside The Ropes!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
The official Online Onslaught Inside The Ropes archive!!! | geemoney
Scrapple
Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL
Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 1 hour
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|  #5 Posted on 26.8.03 1946.05 | | Well, considering you can't even spell GERALD right.... | thefraserman
Goetta
Since: 17.7.02
From: Nanaimo, British Columbia
Since last post: 297 days
Last activity: 184 days
| #6 Posted on 26.8.03 2007.59 | | Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA! | FurryHippie
Frankfurter
Since: 29.10.02
From: New York
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| #7 Posted on 26.8.03 2010.07 | | I hate to say it but some of that shit was pretty funny (Sorry Bulldog) | TalusMZ
Tocino
Since: 21.11.02
From: Los Angeles, CA
Since last post: 900 days
Last activity: 231 days
| #8 Posted on 26.8.03 2014.40 | I'm just waiting for HotNewz to feud with this Informant for the gimmick.
And we all start out as onehits, don't we?
-TMZ |  DONUTDREAMS
Pinkelwurst
Since: 27.3.02
From: My house
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| #9 Posted on 26.8.03 2139.05 | Congratulations! Thanks to you, I no longer have to imagine what eye rape must feel like!
(not that I did before or intend to later, mind you)
donuts baby donuts | StampedeFan23
Morcilla
Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada
Since last post: 1536 days
Last activity: 1072 days
| #10 Posted on 26.8.03 2203.59 | CRZ, he's over there. Thanks!
Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?
I mark for Molly Holly and Lance Storm. | drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator
Since: 22.4.02
From: Connecticut
Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 22 hours
| #11 Posted on 27.8.03 0137.59 |
Originally posted by thefraserman
Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA!
Crap, does that mean the card's in cuneiform? Knew I shoulda paid attention in school... 
Today's Out-Of-Context Quote, Courtesy of hardygrrl:
"...between the grime layer and the Seventies game show host hair, I'd rather rim Undertaker after a White Castle/Schlitz bender." | Melon' Head
Bauerwurst
Since: 27.7.03
From: Toledo ohio
Since last post: 2670 days
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| #12 Posted on 27.8.03 0745.31 | | I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true. | vsp
Andouille
Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly
Since last post: 2518 days
Last activity: 240 days
| #13 Posted on 27.8.03 0814.58 | Instant Rating: 0.00 |
Originally posted by The Informant
Expect to see the first non-human competitor to join the Smackdown! ranks in months to come. Lance the Gorilla is 6'8 and weighs over 450 lbs.! He is currently in training camp and is sure to be a big hit. When asked why the WWE would want a gorilla competing for the strap, publicists replied "because he's willing to work for bananas."
This blows it right there. Everyone knows that Vince would go after Original Ape Virgon or City Monkey _long_ before signing a complete unknown.
(Should've written this a month earlier... you could've announced a cross-promotional Spike TV tie-in, changing the name of the PPV to SUMMERSLAMBALL.)
"When WCW tries to be racy, it's generally about as light-heartedly entertaining as watching a man rape a woman in a chicken yard." -- Dark Cheetah | tasslex
Salami
Since: 15.10.02
From: Eagan, MN
Since last post: 3148 days
Last activity: 3105 days
| #14 Posted on 27.8.03 0819.14 |
Originally posted by drjayphd
Originally posted by thefraserman
Or Summerslam. SUMER SLAM? HA!
Crap, does that mean the card's in cuneiform? Knew I shoulda paid attention in school...
hahahahahahaha
I don’t go to sleep at night, I job to my blankets.
When my mom dies I'd like to know it was peacefully in her sleep, and not fucked to death by 38 men with AIDS. | darkmatcher
Bockwurst
Since: 12.2.03
From: New York, USA
Since last post: 2160 days
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| #15 Posted on 27.8.03 1644.15 |
Originally posted by Melon' Head
I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true.
Damn, got to it first.
I never did like that guy, but for some reason always looked foward to reading his column first. It does seem like his teases never came true, though some times its hard to understand what he's getting at.
what you say | Craigerson
Cotechino
Since: 4.8.03
From: Maryland
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| #16 Posted on 27.8.03 2237.33 |
Originally posted by darkmatcher
Originally posted by Melon' Head
I think the guy is trying to copy the unknown informant angle they always have in WWE magazine.You know the writer who "teases" of supposed storylines but which none of them ever come true.
Damn, got to it first.
I never did like that guy, but for some reason always looked foward to reading his column first. It does seem like his teases never came true, though some times its hard to understand what he's getting at.
He could have at least taken the time to get the name right...it's the Informer isn't it? | UnsUwe
Chourico
Since: 6.7.02
From: Germany
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| #17 Posted on 31.8.03 0750.58 | I found this pretty funny!
So why do you all reply if it bothers you so much? Oh yeah I forgot, great way to raise your posts account, right? Duh......
 Sweet dreams...... |
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