I'll do this blind. Was going to give them a chance last night, but Dixie Carter without Mr. Drummond around really does nothing for me. Anderson and they either have Angle turn heel by saying screw the stips or go Midnight Angle. Sting/Nash/Pope vs. Jarrett/Joe ends in a no contest/double DQ when Pope turns on Nash and Sting, then Jarrett turns on Joe. Fourtune vs. ECW Refugees" Fourtune RVD vs Abyss: Abyss wins, they end up being, I don't, Jake Roberts and his snake. Young/Jordan vs. Ink Inc. Young/Jordan since they aren't a regular tag team MCMG vs. Generation Me: MCMG. Lethal vs. Williams: Lethal. Chick match: Love.
Wow,I remember when I used to never miss an Impact. Lately, I've been working Thursday nights, so I haven't even had the opportunity to flip over during the commercial breaks of Fringe to see what is happening. But, hey, I'll take some guesses.
Angle, because they've only been building to this for months. RVD, because it's bad enough that you strip a guy of a title due to "injury" and have him back before the new titleholder is crowned; you don't need to job him out and cut off a natural "I'm the real champion" angle. Right?
Sting/Nash/Pope, because 3 beating 2 leads to all sorts of subsequent matches.
Angelina, because I'm guessing she's the most likely candidate to feud with Mickie.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy After defeating Abyss in the Monster's Ball, RVD declares that since he never lost the title, he deserves to be in the match and inserts himself in it. He pins Mr. Anderson since Anderson/RVD would be the least interesting of all the possible combinations of those four men. Being the least interesting possibility, it will be the main event of next month's PPV.
MONSTER'S BALL: Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss RVD wins with a frog splash through a table littered with debris, upon which Abyss lies.
LETHAL LOCKDOWN: Fourtune vs. EV2.0 At least one member of EV2.0 dies of natural causes in the match but everybody thinks that they're just selling really well.
Sting, Kevin Nash & The Pope vs. Jeff Jarrett & Samoa Joe Joe turns on Jarrett because nobody likes Jarrett.
WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Motor City Machineguns vs. Generation Me Everybody loses when Generation Me wins the belts in under 5 minutes.
X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal The match lasts for 5 minutes. 4 of those minutes are spent with Williams locking in rest holds. Then Lethal kicks him in the balls and hits his finisher for the win.
KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP (Special Referee: Mickie James): Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne vs. Tara Tara wins, setting up Tara vs Mickie James for the WWE vs WWE match that TNA loves so much.
Eric Young & Orlando Jordan vs. Ink Inc. The match ends in a No Contest when TNA comes down and destroys both teams in order to make their announcement.
Team 3D has a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! Team 3D announce that they're tired of resting on their laurels and want to prove that they're worthy of their claims to be the greatest tag team in the business today. As such, they're going to go through the top ten tag teams in TNA (at least 3 of which don't exist yet) and will retire if they don't win the tag team titles without being defeated.
Who are "THEY"? They are The Gathering, when it's revealed that CM Punk wasn't, in fact, traded to Raw and there was actually a 3way trade with Edge going to Smackdown, Punk going to TNA and Rob Terry going to Raw. Punk and Mickie James reteam with Raven but do absolutely nothing besides sit in the audience. Prior to the next Impact episode, Punk commits suicide but leaves the most entertaining suicide note in wrestling history.
I haven't watched Impact since the last PPV, which I also didn't wach, and I won't be watching tomorrow either. Nevertheless!
Angle wins the title.
RVD wins his match and challenges Angle at the end of the PPV (or at least stands at the top of the ramp), pointing out that it's stupid to strip him of the title considering that he's back in action before the vacant title was even awarded to anyone.
EV2 wins the Lockdown.
Pope/Nash/Sting win their match, leading to JJ challenging Nash to a "Loser Leaves Town" match on Impact, beating Nash and sending him into retirement.
MCMG retain, although possibly by DQ. Lethal and Love both retain as well.
Ink Inc. beats Y&J.
Team 3D announces that they will beat every team in TNA and win the belts or they'll split up forever.
"They" is revealed to be Brutus Beefcake, Gregory Helms, and El Zorro.
Last 5 movies seen: The Secret of Kells *** - The Secret in Their Eyes ***1/2 - Inception ****1/2 - Avatar *** - The Beach Boys: An American Band ** - Angels with Dirty Faces ***
Angle over the other two. RVD over Abyss. Tara over the other women. Ink Inc over OJ and the multiple concussion guy. Jarrett and Joe over Sting/Nash/Pope. Jarrett pins Nash. MCMG over Gen Me. Fourtune over EV2. Foley not in match. Jay Lethal over Doug Williams.
Team 3-D announces that they are going to start tag team competitive food eating competitions with TNA teams.
THEY are Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. Hogan shows up not as hurt as everyone thought and beats down RVD after his match while Eric beats up the husband of Dixie Carter.
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
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