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The W - Random - Birthday Present For Hot Girl?
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Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 307 days
Last activity: 4 days
#1 Posted on
Hey all,

Like many of us, I am puzzled and amazed by the opposite sex. The curves...the...uh...lack of ugly manliness. Women are truly a thing of beauty. Now, a hot girl that I am interested in and work with (and am currently fairly good friends with) is having her birthday on Thursday, and will be coming to the movie theatre for our staff screening of XXX. And I convinced her to come. So...I must get her a present. I simply must. But what? WHAT? Now, I am almost definately getting her a card and some manner of flowers...but what else? I need that one coup de grace of the present to put it over the top and make me look like The King of Kings. My friends are all lazy and non-committal towards this...so, I TURN TO WIENERVILLE FOR HELP! Save me, Wienerville, you're my only hope!



"That's what the Internet is for, slandering others anonymously" Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

"Smile." Maguire (Jude Law), Road to Perdition

"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!" The President (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Bomb
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chuckc14
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Nashville

Since last post: 3181 days
Last activity: 1569 days
#2 Posted on
I'd be careful with the card and flowers...it turns you from the "nice guy friend" to "guy that obviously likes me", and that could screw up your friendship with her. I'd just give her the most genuine happy birthday wish you can, and make sure she gets in and eats for free at the theatre. Cards and flowers could seem a little overbearing to a girl you're just "fairly good friends with". The cards and flowers should come after a SUCCESSFUL first or second date. Ask her to the theatre to see a movie you know she wants to see sometime. Inviting mutual friends might help alleviate the stress, but just make sure you sit next to her, and (before or after the movie) ask her more about herself, LISTEN to what she has to say, and come with some thoughtful follow up questions. Make sure you get the digits.

And the most important piece of advice is....be patient. Don't blow your load in one night with cards and flowers. Overbearing guys don't get the chicks. Try to make little bits of progress each week...(week one: a half hour phone chat, week two: two or three nights of phone chats, week 3: date on the weekend...and so on).



Comic Book Guy: "Last night's 'Itchy & Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."
rockdotcom_2.0
Frankfurter








Since: 9.1.02
From: Virginia Beach Va

Since last post: 583 days
Last activity: 198 days
AIM:  
#3 Posted on
This is a tough call. Since you arent her boyfriend yet, buying her a present may scare her off, seriously. The flowers, the card and the date should be good enough. If you MUST buy her something maybe a CD would be good. But dont overdo it. And be careful that you dont end up in that black hole called the friend zone.



Always double down on 11....
Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 307 days
Last activity: 4 days
#4 Posted on
Since she ALREADY gave me her number (upon request a while ago), I think she already knows I like her...so we're past that stage. But I think I'll go for the card & CD (or gift certificate for CDs)...and then pay for whatever food & whatnot she'd like for the screening. And make sure I sit beside her. That's the key.



"That's what the Internet is for, slandering others anonymously" Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

"Smile." Maguire (Jude Law), Road to Perdition

"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!" The President (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Bomb
chuckc14
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Nashville

Since last post: 3181 days
Last activity: 1569 days
#5 Posted on

    Originally posted by Freeway420
    Since she ALREADY gave me her number (upon request a while ago), I think she already knows I like her...so we're past that stage. But I think I'll go for the card & CD (or gift certificate for CDs)...and then pay for whatever food & whatnot she'd like for the screening. And make sure I sit beside her. That's the key.


Sounds like a plan...you didn't need any help after all. Also, try to avoid exchanging notes with that guy who asked for advice a while back with "the Puerto Rican" handle. This, in turn, will avoid a restraining order. Go get 'er tiger!



Comic Book Guy: "Last night's 'Itchy & Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#6 Posted on
Some lubes and a Motel Room.



m2k_2002
Polska kielbasa








Since: 6.6.02
From: san jose

Since last post: 4430 days
Last activity: 4429 days
#7 Posted on
A good book might be nice. yeah right get a good cd for the womens birthday.
StampedeFan23
Morcilla








Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada

Since last post: 2054 days
Last activity: 1590 days
#8 Posted on
a Kaientai "Evil" shirt. Hey, I'd like it...



Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?
FLRockAndLaw
Boerewors








Since: 2.1.02
From: Central Florida, somewhere between Orlando and Tampa, U.S.A.

Since last post: 73 days
Last activity: 5 hours
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
My fellow Wieners should feel free to openly (but politely, heh heh) veto this idea... but what about hooking her up with two free movie passes and politely and subtly suggesting that she can take someone to another movie at another time? This might blow up in your face if she decides to take someone else using said movie passes... then again, there's also the possibility that she might get the hint and want to go see another movie with you sometime.

Also, it's a little too early to be buying her lingerie, methinks... ;)



RageRockrr - Randomly Selected Wiener of the Day Conspiracy Victim
"Thanks RageRockrr! You're the coolest!" - Excalibur05, March 10, 2002.
"Thank you for bringing back a DEEP 80s memory, Rage. THANK YOU." - DMC, June 6, 2002.

Mr. Broslofski: Now you go brush your teeth, and march into bed. You won't be opening your Hannukuh present tonight.
Kyle: Probably just another stupid dreidel anyway.
Mr. Broslofski: What did you say?!?
Kyle: I said Ike's on fire.
- South Park, Episode 110 - "Mr. Hanky, The Christmas Poo"
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 83 days
Last activity: 2 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#10 Posted on
http://jkyle.com says:



I'd go with a Hello Kitty Good Health Doll.



MMPS Member----VISIT SMARKTOWN!----Enter the Geekdom

"When I have children I'll do as much to encourage them to read as possible. You know, like hit them if they don't." Douglas Adams

IC Contender! Now can you dig THAT?

The Goon
Boudin blanc
Moderator








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#11 Posted on
Are we also supposed to discuss technique, like the old "buy a large popcorn and cut a hole in the bottom while keeping it in your lap" trick?

I wouldn't recommend that.
Teppan-Yaki
Pepperoni








Since: 28.6.02

Since last post: 939 days
Last activity: 909 days
#12 Posted on
Hey Freeway:

If you're going to sit next to her... cool... but you have to do this all non-chalantly.

Then again, if she jumps on you and wants to ride you like a Bronco Billy... then that goes out the window.
chazerizer
Italian








Since: 11.7.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 4392 days
Last activity: 848 days
AIM:  
#13 Posted on
I just want to know why you turned to this board for help. I mean, I'm sure there are a few of us out there who aren't pathetic losers, but I'm pretty sure they're in the minority. And that minority is probably filled with pervs.

Now, how to get myself out of those groups...



"Sales of penis-enlargement treatments and devices in 2000 totaled in excess of $600 million," Skolnick said. "Cock-lengthening is, no pun intended, a consistent growth industry in the U.S., and this bill would severely emasculate it. As usual, it's the little guy who suffers."
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 336 days
Last activity: 330 days
#14 Posted on
The best birthday present for ANY woman can be summed up in three words:


Handsome.

Eddie.

Famous.




George Washington gave his signature
The Government gave its hand
They said for now and ever more that this was Indian Land

"As long as the moon shall rise"
"As long as the rivers flow"
"As long as the sun will shine"
"As long as the grass shall grow"


chuckc14
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Nashville

Since last post: 3181 days
Last activity: 1569 days
#15 Posted on

    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    The best birthday present for ANY woman can be summed up in three words:


    Handsome.

    Eddie.

    Famous.




I'll take two!



Comic Book Guy: "Last night's 'Itchy & Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."
ekedolphin
Scrapple








Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 128 days
Last activity: 1 day
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.52
Well, Famous got one out of three correct.

Eddie (me) is the best present for a woman.

I'll just keep telling myself that.



“You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.”

E-mail joke letter, 7/25/02

Two-Time, Two-Time Randomly Selected Weiner of the Day, 5/27/02 and 7/3/02

skorpio17
Morcilla








Since: 11.7.02
From: New Jersey

Since last post: 2411 days
Last activity: 2411 days
#17 Posted on

    Originally posted by Freeway420
    Hey all,

    Like many of us, I am puzzled and amazed by the opposite sex. The curves...the...uh...lack of ugly manliness. Women are truly a thing of beauty. Now, a hot girl that I am interested in and work with (and am currently fairly good friends with) is having her birthday on Thursday, and will be coming to the movie theatre for our staff screening of XXX. And I convinced her to come. So...I must get her a present. I simply must. But what? WHAT? Now, I am almost definately getting her a card and some manner of flowers...but what else? I need that one coup de grace of the present to put it over the top and make me look like The King of Kings. My friends are all lazy and non-committal towards this...so, I TURN TO WIENERVILLE FOR HELP! Save me, Wienerville, you're my only hope!



2 years ago, I had a third date with a hot girl. I had to get her a good gift. So, I got her a compilation CD made of her favorite songs. Relying on my knowledge of the type of music she likes. The gift is thoughtfull and looks more difficult to assemble than it really is. Now we are happily married.



-Brian Popkin
Parts Unknown
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Darkenwood

Since last post: 52 days
Last activity: 17 hours
#18 Posted on
I also married the girl of my dreams and offer this advice from a successful string of dates:

Don't get her anything. It's too obvious and it immediately puts you in a pussy-whipped position. Just tell her "happy birthday." You don't want to move from "cool guy and good friend" to "drooling putz who only wants my body" too quickly. That comes later. Flowers and CDs and all that just scream "trying too hard." Just be a dude. Use the Tao of RVD.

Take her to the movies, but don't yawn and put your arm around her or anything. Don't hold her hand. Don't be overbearing. Just be yourself for God's sake, open doors for her and buy her a box of Hot Tamales or something.

DON'T BE CHEESY CLICHE MOVIE DATE GUY. Be original, friendly, and above all, manly. Don't put yourself in a submissive position by kissing her ass and bringing her flowers.

Well, at least don't figuratively kiss her ass. Literally do it. But later!

Hope this helps. Just some friendly advice from an old married dude.



"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?" - The chilling words of the Shockmaster!

"Here comes Charles Benoit, and he's really mad.....Charles Benoit is here, and he's FUCKING CRAZY"- T.R. on the barbecued cat thread (it's too terrible to link)

THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER drives out - damn, how did those STEEL steps rise up onto their ends and out of the way of - hey wait, I see DUDES there! They must be soulless minions of Big Evil's Red Devil Underwood Deviled Ham Team Evil. What? - CRZ, back to his old antics
Grimis
Scrapple








Since: 11.7.02
From: MD

Since last post: 1271 days
Last activity: 1068 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.09
Please....no yawn and arm thing. There is nothing so transparently pathetic because for this to work correctly the girl would have to be so freaking oblivious that she wouldn't notice your arm go back there. And does anybody really want to date the a chick who is completely oblivious? I think not.

Parts Unknown has it right; just be a dude and whatever RVD thing(sans the wacky tobaccky)
Rudoublesedoublel
Potato korv








Since: 2.1.02
From: Kentucky - Home of the 8 time NCAA Champ Wildcats

Since last post: 36 days
Last activity: 3 days
#20 Posted on
Time for another old married guy to chime in.

I sure am glad I don't have to date anymore!!!!!!!!

Oh.....

I guess the big question for me would be... how old is the girl you're taking to the movie?

If she was 25 or more I'd say a small boquet of fresh cut flowers (not roses, but the colorful smelly kind). Even if you're at the friend stage, she'd be thrilled to get them and roses come on too strong at times.

If she was 21 - 24 I'd say a bottle of her favorite booze (if she likes to drink) and take her dancing.

If she is younger than 21, I'd say I have no clue, but I wouldn't go to a great deal of trouble and expense if she's in the "friends" stage. Some younger girls really get a thrill out of riding "friends with crushes" for as much they are willing to shell out $$$$$$$$$$. This would leave you with bad feelings and no pie in the end.
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