I have returned from Vegas again, having broken even thanks to some savvy betting. I ran through the crop of commercials and here's what we have for this year.
THE GOOD -Acura sells to Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld's usually good for a laugh and this would have won with the Soup Nazi cameo alone. But Jay Leno in a flying squirrel suit was just AWESOME! Big winner for me! -Bud Light, shockingly, had very few ads, but the rescue dog was both hilarious and touching. The dog was a total hoot and adding the link to the rescue line at the end was a very classy move by Bud Light. -Budweiser through the ages was very effective. Highlight the best of our culture and remind people of how long Bud has been a part of our lives. Well-played! -King Elton John sells Pepsi. This was a nice way to expose The X Factor's Melanie Amaro to an even wider audience. She ruled it here and I got a kick out of this. Extra points for the random Flava Flav cameo.
THE BAD -Matthews Broderick becomes Ferris Bueller. It really, REALLY pains me to put this down here. But if you want to talk about Madonna trying to relive the past and get a nostalgia pop, take a look at Matthew Broderick, not looking a day younger than 40, desperately clinging to one of his only claims to fame. I like nostalgia as much as the next guy, but this one just didn't do it for me. -Please, GoDaddy! Just GoAway! -David Beckham shills underwear for H&M. Just felt like a weird ad for the Super Bowl and didn't do it for me. However, I should note that the gf LOVED this spot. She clearly loves briefs! -The Chevy Sonic does off-the-wall stunts! It bungee jumps and does flips! It's WACKY! Why this makes me want to buy this car, I have no idea! -Just to show the ladies that I'm not just picking on them with the Beckham, I'm also throwing the Teleflora ad on this list. I somehow doubt that buying flowers leads to THIS or anything similar. I will say, though, that this is better than the Don Rickles Put-Down Flower from years past.
THE UGLY -I have no idea what that Cars.com ad was supposed to be. -Dog uses Doritos to bribe owner into keeping quiet about PET MURDER! Oof! -I have to put the Volkswagen ad in this slot, just because of the bizarre structure. The dog working out to gain weight and implementing the car chase into his regimen was great and had it ended there, it would have been solid. But the segue to the Mos Eisley cantina was just odd. I understood the gag, but it just felt like a weird segue. -Little kid needs to pee and keeps seeing flowing water. A fun gag, but how does this sell ONLINE TAXES?
THE MOVIE TRAILERS -The Dictator has Sacha Baron Cohen playing an obnoxious dictator. I really get the vibe that he's channeling Russel Brand, for some reason. This is a "watch" for me. -Battleship is INCREDIBLY frustrating! This looks like a FUN movie! If it were called ANYTHING ELSE, people would talk about it! This was a GOOD trailer, showing off alien-fighting action! But as soon as you see "Based on the Hasbro board game", it's just doomed to ridicule. Stupid, stupid, stupid! -John Carter looks like it should be a fun romp. Not much else to say about this one. -The Lorax. I'm actually a sucker for the CGI Dr. Seuss films and Danny DeVito as the title character is inspired. -G.I. Joe: Retaliation got, I shit you not, a HUGE GROAN from the crowd watching the game. Good luck trying to save this one, Rock. -Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D! It's the same ad that's aired over the past week, promising all the Star Wars movies in order. WHY they would include Jar Jar Binks in the marketing for this film baffles me. -The Avengers! YES! THIS is what I was looking forward to all night! Alas, it's only a tease, but open up your browser and watch the extended version! It's ok. I'll wait.
That's really all I have this year. It was a very unremarkable field of commercials. Feel free to toss in any I forgot, but that's it from me.
I missed some of the commercials, including anything at or shortly after halftime, when we ate dinner. What I saw didn't do much for me. I thought the M&Ms spot introducing the brown one was fairly funny. The Elton John spot and the kid who needs to pee weren't bad. Unless I'm forgetting something, that's about all I liked.
Originally posted by It's False-Dog uses Doritos to bribe owner into keeping quiet about PET MURDER! Oof!
...this is crazy talk! THAT commercial had to be the best, or perhaps second-best after the Seinfeld commercial. If I'm remembering correctly, Doritos is usually good for at least one memorable (in a good way) Super Bowl ad each year for the past few years.
Well Seinfeld knows how Conan feels. I like that one, the car destroying vampires and of course the Darth Vader at the Catina one. The Doritos ones were ok, but it seem like every commercial had a dog in it. I am not sold on the rescue one since it was basically saying get a dog to be your beer bitch.
The Trailers. Holy Shit! Avengers! Do go see the extended cut on their facebook page. Battleship looks awful. GI Joe looks somewhat ok, at least Cobra Commander looks right. Dictator, I didn't see. John Carter still looks like a CGI mess. It must be my fanboy at seeing the original trilogy, because they almost have going to see Episode I, almost. Lorax looks like its missing the point of Dr. Seuss. Why would anyone want a real tree when there is obvious vegetation all over the place? I am not thrilled about Lorax at all.
(edited by lotjx on 6.2.12 0721) The Wee Baby Sheamus.
Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Because it was so left field and so fun (and they're on a comeback tour of North America right now so the timing is perfect), the Darkness singing in the streets to promote...whatever mobile phone it was, was far and away the most entertaining ad all night. Almost all the other ones were groan-inducing or offensive or just dumb.
I'd already seen the G.I. Joe trailer online and was just happy to see the Commander is in it. I guess if we don't see his face, they didn't need to bring back JGL after all? (Thought it would be nice if he does the voice...uncredited?) I'm enough of a G.I. Joe nerd that I'll totally see Dwayne-as-Roadblock in the theater.
It's False is pretty dead-on about Battleship... It looks like Transformers 3.5 basically. Until I saw the trailer in the theater a few months ago, I had no idea this was going to be an Alien Invasion movie.
Originally posted by Mark Lisanti Most Joyless Gang Bang
If you'd told us that Scooby Doo, Charlie Brown, He-Man, Pepe LePew, Speedy Gonzalez, Casper, Quick-Draw McGraw, Fat Albert, Cosmo Spacely, Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman, Jabber Jaws, Grape Motherfucking Ape, Richie Rich, Voltron (Voltron!), and virtually every other animated character appearing on a television set in the 1980s were going to be in a commercial together, (1) yes, bring it to me right now, and (2) it better be for something cooler than, say, life insurance. And it's not even sexy life insurance, like Prudential or Farmers or Allstate. This is nothing but a pointless, fill-every-orifice nostalgia-orgy aimed at reminding thirtysomethings that they will die someday, and probably from the sadness of watching Gossamer plow Underdog in a poppy field at Cartoon Burning Man in front of the entire Hanna-Barbera roster. No, this is not a very good commercial.
(edited by Alessandro on 6.2.12 1251) My new inappropriate catchphrase: Vinegar, please!
I didn't mind the Doritos dog, but the second Doritos commercial was even better. This was the one with the boy taunting the grandmother and little baby. So Grandma shoots the baby at the bag. Great. The Bud Light dog ad was awesome, as was the Audi Vampire spot.
I did not care for the Seinfeld ad, or Sir Elton shilling for Pepsi. The polar bear ads were dumb as well.
I had never seen the ad for The Dictator, but that movie looks great (of course I liked Bruno, so I might be biased). The tease for The Avengers was cool, but Spiralling Shape was right about Battleship. Oof.
Finally, Stagger Lee is so wrong about Danica Patrick. She is hot. Jillian...not so much. One of the people I watched the Super Bowl with actually went to GoDaddy to see the conclusion of that commercial. Here's a spoiler, the girl is wearing a bikini. Shocking, no?
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
My favorite hasn't been mentioned, actually, which was the chevy trucks surviving the apocalypse, but, seemingly, not the ford.
We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy - Swift
1983 porn is a billion times better that that crap porn the kids have today. ...except for Pornstar Punishment vids from Mofos, cause that shit makes me laugh more than any episode of The Office and 2 and a Half Men ever could.