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Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.94
Spoilers, but who gives a fuck. You probably ain't gonna see this shit anyway.

----------

No one said "You sank my Battleship!" during this film.

Fucking Awesome! It exceeded all my expectations, and I was pretty excited to see this. I'm even gonna say I enjoyed it more that Avengers, which I'm sure will make all of you just think I am drunk and stupid.

What you got here is the best Michael Bay film imaginable, but without him doing it. Shit blowing up, hot chicks, bad acting, classic rock, and more shit blowing up.

The acting was wonderfully wooden. Taylor Kitsch was so bad at his role that you could have put a shrub in his place and it would have had more life and energy. He's like the poor mans Channing Tatum. The blonde chick playing his girlfriend was nice to look at, but hearing her read lines was painful. The navy dude with the prosthetic legs was a little over the top, but acceptable with these kind of films. Even Liam Neeson, in all of his 6-8 minutes on camera was hilarious. He was just there for a paycheck. Bad acting in a film like this is a good thing because you don't want 'acting' to get in the way of the spectacle.

With a budget of over $200 million, you can certainly see where the money went, and it wasn't the actors. The alien crafts were spectacular. The battle scenes in the ocean were awesome. I haven't bought toys based on films in a while, but I need a couple of those spinning ball things, they were cool as hell.

The way they integrated the Battleship game play into the film was ingenious. Using the water buoys to track the enemy ships was smart as fuck.

overall, I thought Battleship was fantastic. I plan on seeing it at least one more time, possible more. If you want to see some spectacular, escapist popcorn flick... see Battleship. I loved it!



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Promote this thread!
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.56
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Even Liam Neeson, in all of his 6-8 minutes on camera...


Nope. Lost me right here. I can put up with a bad movie, because Liam Neeson can make just about anything watchable. But if he isn't even in it for that long, there's no point.

Why even bother to call this movie "Battleship" if they weren't going to use the catchphrase?




"This is DIET Double Dew, Kyle! It only has half the caffeine and sugar of Double Dew!"
Lord of the Manor
Chourico








Since: 24.2.03
From: London, United Kingdom

Since last post: 603 days
Last activity: 526 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.29
I just can't believe that two different studios were willing to take a $200+ million gamble on Taylor fucking Kitsch. The next time he lands a leading role, it'd better be for a straight to video release.

Also, Rihanna has no business in films. At all.




Comin' through!!!
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 81 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.65
Nous ne nous pouvons pas sortir.
    Originally posted by Lord of the Manor
    I just can't believe that two different studios were willing to take a $200+ million gamble on Taylor fucking Kitsch. The next time he lands a leading role, it'd better be for a straight to video release.
If FOX made a Gambit movie, he'd be involved in losing the studio system a combined half a billion dollars. Which would make him kind of a folk hero to me.



John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.16
Uh, yeah. I fucking hated it. (backofthehead.com)



@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 2 days
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.75
I think the line that some of you are discussing was said in the SyFy rip-off Battleship movie (or a similar line)...at least, that's my recollection based on the commercials that aired during Smackdown this week.



@gregmparks - live Tweeting of Raw and Impact, wrestling thoughts and other slices of life.
Amos Cochran
Lap cheong








Since: 28.8.09

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 13 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.58
It's bloody, bloody awful. AWFUL.
dMr
Andouille








Since: 2.11.02
From: Edinburgh, Scotland

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.59
    Originally posted by John Orquiola (via backofthehead.com which y'all should visit)
    What's worse than shame? Battleship.

    Originally posted by Amos Cochran
    It's bloody, bloody awful. AWFUL.

I disagree with both of you, to an extent. I didn't think it was nearly awful enough. I was expecting something so truly, spectacularly, hilariously dreadful that it would rapidly attain cult status. A celebration of the fact that somebody actually saw fit to not only commission a Battleship move, but also throw northwards of $200m at the project.

Instead we just got a standard issue Hollywood blockbuster that was distinctly below average in almost every conceivable way. There were often times where it was even plain old dull which is just about the worst thing a movie could be.

Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.94
You people must hate life... and America.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.16
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    You people must hate life... and America.


Neither. Just Battleship.



@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
Amos Cochran
Lap cheong








Since: 28.8.09

Since last post: 13 days
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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.58
And you must hate good movies.
Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.03
Battleshit is probably a more suitable name for this movie.



...on a roll!
Doc_whiskey
Frankfurter








Since: 6.8.02
From: St. Louis

Since last post: 6 days
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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
    Originally posted by Oliver
    Battleshit is probably a more suitable name for this movie.


ZING!



Lisa: Poor predicatble Bart, always picks rock
Bart: Good ole rock, nothing beats that
Cerebus
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Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.94
Yeah, I remember you people saying the same thing about Speed Racer, but as soon as HBO starts showing it three times a day, you will all learn to LOVE it like I do.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Moss
Summer sausage








Since: 23.9.10
From: Calgary, AB

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 5 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.89
No, we won't.



BORK LASER PLS
Mike Zeidler
Pepperoni








Since: 27.6.02

Since last post: 71 days
Last activity: 30 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.42
Are you saying Battleship has something akin to the mind-melting braingasm of the final race in Speed Racer?

Please say no.



"Tattoos are the mullets of the aughts." - Mike Naimark

"Hasa diga eebowai!" - Ugandan saying
Lord of the Manor
Chourico








Since: 24.2.03
From: London, United Kingdom

Since last post: 603 days
Last activity: 526 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.29
It's okay, man. We all inexplicably love a shitty film sometimes.




Comin' through!!!
The Thrill
Banger








Since: 16.4.02
From: Green Bay, WI

Since last post: 189 days
Last activity: 35 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.51
Welcome home, men of the 2nd Bn, 127th Infantry, 32d "Red Arrow" Brigade, WI Army National Guard! Job well done in Iraq!

    Originally posted by geemoney
    I think the line that some of you are discussing was said in the SyFy rip-off Battleship movie (or a similar line)...at least, that's my recollection based on the commercials that aired during Smackdown this week.


It's from the board game's old commercials. Witness this one from the late 1960s (hey, did that kid just invent the Nestea Plunge, too?)



The classiest of mofo's in the 70s said it in opera houses. Fast forward to the 1980s, and it's still there.







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Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

Since last post: 4 hours
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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.03
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Yeah, I remember you people saying the same thing about Speed Racer, but as soon as HBO starts showing it three times a day, you will all learn to LOVE it like I do.
Oddly enough, I love Speed Racer. Loved it since the day it came out. I proudly own it on DVD and Blu-Ray.

(edited by Oliver on 21.5.12 2004)


...on a roll!
OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst








Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 15 days
Last activity: 12 days
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.50
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    No one said "You sank my Battleship!" during this film.


Peter Berg said it to Joss Whedon.
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[Quote] WAR (WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR) BATTLESHIP YAMATO: Japan's Secret Fleet (PAL) 2 DVDs - reviewers really HATED this title, by the way (7/1) I wonder how many people order this expecting to see some kind of star blazers anime.
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