I use the "Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help" line quite a bit (sans racial ending). I loved "Leave It To Beaver" when I was a kid too. R.I.P.
"You are going to get a certain amount of snarkiness on the Internet no matter what, and my rule is that you don't post anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face." Marc Andreyko (Writer of DC Comic's "Manhunter")
SMG and Linklater definitely seem right. The fonts match. I'm not sure Wolk's is Chanel #5 for the same reason, because the font didn't match. They're pretty meticulous about the font, because that's how I managed to identify the others.