I've decided to try my material here now and again. I reckon once the warnings come down from above, I've ceased being funny.
When my girlfriend and I started dating I wore a size 3XL shirt. However, she always bought me 2XL shirts, and though I was appreciative she asked why I never wore them, to whit my being too big and I couldn't fit into them. She said that was okay, I would if I worked at it. Lo and behold, I now wear a 2XL shirt, and now she gets me XL shirts. Clever? I know!
So why did she get mad at me for buying her D-cup bras and size 0 dresses?
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Frown and the world laughs at you." -Me.
As someone who's done open-mics for the past seven years or so, I've usually just done the Twitter/Facebook thing. Twitter forces you to streamline your jokes to fit the character limit, so I don't know if it'd help for longer bits.