The following announcement has not been paid for because it's free.They lost two in a row to the DEVIL RAYS! The Tampa Bay Devil Rays have taken two out of three from the Boston Red Sox, who are starting to slide deeper and deeper into the pit of not goodness. Perhaps I'm being a wee bit overanxious with my proclamation of the Olde Towne Team being dead, doomed and not winning anything this year. Maybe we will execute an incredible comeback and be leading the AL East by 4 games on September 16th when the union goes on strike, thus killing baseball in the ultimate act of the Curse of Some Guy Named George. Trust me, folks, if they walk on the 16th of September, there is NO F'N WAY that they're gonna be back on the field for the final pennant race, or the postseason, which means for the second time in eight years, the Red Sox will be in a playoff position, and there will be NO PLAYOFFS! God, I hate George Steinbrenner. And Dud Selig. And a guy named George Ruth who used to live in Southborough. Although, I have found a connection between the late Ted Williams and that George guy. During one of the wars he was in (Korea or WWII, the big one, I can't remember) he played on a military all-star team. His manager? Mr. George Herman Ruth. There, ladies and gents, is another connection to that big lefthanded guy gone by the wayside and into a cryonics lab in Arizona as his family mocks his name and blatantly spits on his legacy. Isn't that how the saying goes? Legends don't die, they get frozen and fought over?
The preceding announcement was not paid for because it was free.
The Sox Died when the spirit of Cause me to Drive off the Cliff Slocumb took over the body of Ugie Urbina. They are a dead team that if they had any pride would cut Frank 'I Lost Again" Castillo to show that maybe they will send someone out every 5th day who can get at least one person out.
Red Sox fans (and if I had to pick an AL team to root for, it'd be the Red Sox) will look back at their recent series with the Yankees at season's end and realize that was when it all fell apart for Boston. That weekend killed them.
Mean Gene: "You know, I don't think it's a question - Goldberg, I don't think it's a question of who's next, I think it's a question of who's left?" Goldberg: "No, see, that's where you're wrong. It ain't who's left, it's - WHO'S NEXT?"
"Just how hardcore am I? Well this morning, I drank milk that was two days past the expiration!" -Norman Smiley
Well, they did get to take out their frustration on TB in the first game, and in the process, managed to blow their load then and give up the next two. Then Pedro made sure TB knew their position and promptly made them the Red Sox's personal bitches. (Come to think of it, isn't that what Baltimore and Toronto are now?)
Yeah, the Yankees series may demoralize them, but then again, they can look back at it and think that for 8+ innings each of the last two games, they managed to beat the Yankees at their own game. That's what they need to do to make it back, although looking at the AL West, it's either win the division or spend the fall doing yard work.
And redsoxnation, remember the one good thing Slocumb did. He brought us Varitek and Lowe for, well, nothing would have been an improvement for Seattle.
The Sox are dead. They traded one of their three best players for a nobody minor league pitcher with a 6.03 ERA in AAA. Unbelieveable. What? You were talking about the Red Sox? Oh. Well, they're in trouble, too.
-The Big Kat "It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." -Peter Gibbons, Office Space
gonna build a giant drill and bore straight into hell releasing ancient demons from their sleep-forever spell so they can walk upon the earth and get recituated and run the diet pill pyramid that MC Pee Pants has created
BOSTON - Johnny Damon plans to lose the caveman look for charity. The Red Sox center fielder said Monday he’ll shave the black beard he’s had since the offseason to benefit the Boston public libraries’ reading and tutoring programs for youngsters.