We've discussed at length in previous threads how difficult it is to leave AOhelL. Now you can read their Retention Manual and feel vindicated that it's not just difficult operators. It's company policy!
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." --Rick Cook
Thanks for the suggestions. I've done all the things you've suggested, Guru, to no avail. I'm gonna take it up to my girlfriend's house tomorrow and use her machine for testing purposes while she's at work. I'll let ya know how it turns out.