It's pretty much resolved, even though the cable folks have not been out yet...I traced all the wires to the attic, and it turns out my jack has some "issues". I loosened the cable and it's fine now...except that I'm now leaking signal.
So when the tech gets here, I'll point him at that cable jack...wait for him to investigate everything else, and then tell me "that jack needs to be replaced". If I can resist murdering the cable guy, I should be in business then.
Well, then I'm going to blame it all on Yoda and Ben. Ben LETS Vader kill him, thus... repaying... er... well, maybe he was drunk or something. And Yoda? Stupid creepy little troll! Going off and living in a HOLLOW TREE in a SWAMP at his age?