Okay, this is silly and probably wouldn't work, but the thought makes me laugh.
Someone's interviewing RVD backstage, like Terri. She wonders why a guy with "Whatever" on his shirt wants the World Title in the first place.
RVD laughs and answers, "Dude! I just found out that Grandma Agnes Van Dam is in a nursing home. And I need some cash to buy her old house back!"
Then maybe he makes some sort reference to hooking his grandmother up with Willie Nelson, once she gets the house back. Then he signs off with "But don't worry about Unforgiven. 'Cause everything's in the bag when you're R-V-D!!!"
(and yeah, I know that steals from Happy Gillmore and probably Edge and Christian)
(edited by asteroidboy on 17.9.02 1904) "My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
The third, to be precise. While he has technically held the Smoking Skull belt in his hands, it was "stolen" to continue the feud between he & Austin after Wrestlemania 15, meaning Austin was technically champ and not Rock.