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30.10.14 2310
The W - Pro Wrestling - And the Academy Award goes to ..... Kane?
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DirtyMikeSeaver
Boudin rouge








Since: 19.5.02
From: Toronto

Since last post: 37 days
Last activity: 37 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.22
From PWInsider.com

WWE Films’ first feature, The Marine, begins filming in September 2004. To be shot in Queensland, Australia, it stars WWE Smackdown Superstar John Cena. It will be released in 2005 by 20th Century Fox. The second film from WWE Films is Eye Scream Man, starring WWE Raw Superstar Kane. It begins shooting in November 2004. This production, which is also shooting in Queensland, will be released in 2005 by Lions Gate Films.


So if he and Lita get a divorce, does she get half of the profits from the movie? And can someone please come up with a better joke than the one prior?



By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."

ESPN's Bill Simmons
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The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3384 days
Last activity: 3384 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.31
Forget the joke, can someone come up with a better MOVIE TITLE? I mean, "Eye Scream Man"? Jeez.



FIRST EVER "W of the Day"! (4/12/04)

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Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.36
Are these going to be direct to video releases? Theatre bound? Or will they be part of the WWE's "buy the PPV online, and get something extra" thing?



The SOK has seen the following cinematic masterpieces so far this year:

Eurotrip; Scooby Doo 2; Shrek 2; The Ladykillers; Spider-Man 2; Anchorman; 13 Going On 30; Day After Tomorrow; Harry Potter 3.

Best: 13 Going On 30; Worst: Day After Tomorrow
Wpob
Lap cheong








Since: 21.11.02
From: Williston Park, NY

Since last post: 13 hours
Last activity: 11 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.76
SOK,

30 Going on 13 is a better movie in your eyes than Shrek 2 and Spider Man 2? Egads. That's scarier than the Kane/Lita union.



Inigo Montoya: Who are you?

Westley: No one of consequence.

Inigo Montoya: I must know...

Westley: Get used to disappointment.

Inigo Montoya: 'kay.
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.70

This could be the worst horror film since Leprauchan.




Sean Carless
Cotechino








Since: 30.9.03
From: Mean Streets of Canada

Since last post: 1640 days
Last activity: 1635 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.14
    Originally posted by Mayhem

    This could be the worst horror film since Leprauchan.


Let's see how good a mood you'd be in if someone stole your pot o'gold.

Seriously though, WWE needs to fire whomever is coming up with these titles lately. Except Taboo Tuesday, that's really good...




The IWC's Favorite Sean
Phantom Lord
Salami








Since: 18.6.04
From: The Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 3233 days
Last activity: 3029 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.23
Bah they could make more money with a Documentary of Kane and Lita's married life. I suggested this to someone as a joke. Make it a spoof of Newleyweds.

On LOP, Wevv Mang's last couple of columns have had a great visual of Lita and Kane at home.





Free For All Daily: The Times are a changin
Read The Rant of the Week...Only on LordsofPain.Net
RYDER FAKIN
Six Degrees of Me








Since: 21.2.02
From: ORLANDO

Since last post: 50 days
Last activity: 50 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.55
(deleted by RYDER FAKIN on 27.8.04 2055)
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.82
"That was beautiful!"

How can you SERIOUSLY doubt Kane's acting prowess?




I'm back for MORE CASH!
KaneRobot
Morcilla








Since: 24.2.02
From: Bowels

Since last post: 2433 days
Last activity: 1725 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
I'll go see it just because of the title.



PerthHeat
Mettwurst








Since: 16.8.04
From: Perth Australia

Since last post: 3032 days
Last activity: 3018 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.26
    Originally posted by SOK
    Are these going to be direct to video releases? Theatre bound? Or will they be part of the WWE's "buy the PPV online, and get something extra" thing?


They have to go directly to video/dvd do not pass go do not collect an Academy Award

Will they bill it as starring WWEs Kane or Glen Jacobs?

If its Glen Jacobs watch all the profits fly out the window as people go "WHO?".

The dilemma for the WWE is to reach mainstream... which I am sure they truly arent... they have to come up with a story and actors people can believe in.The Marine has some minor potential but Kane in EyeScream Man?? I dont think so.

But like all the marks I will probably spend a dollar or 3 to have a look.



(edited by PerthHeat on 28.8.04 1540)


if you cant stand the heat...buy icecream
StaggerLee
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Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 2 hours
Last activity: 26 min.
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.18
    Originally posted by Mayhem

    This could be the worst horror film since Leprauchan.


Leprauchan is the best movie of the year, Kevin!



Thank you for your irrelevant opinion.

Doe, Ray, Me, Fa, So, La, TITO SANTANA!
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.36
    Originally posted by Wpob
    SOK,

    30 Going on 13 is a better movie in your eyes than Shrek 2 and Spider Man 2? Egads. That's scarier than the Kane/Lita union.
it's all a matter of perspective. I much prefer a good romantic comedy over an action movie, anyday. While I loved Spider-Man 2, 13 Going On 30 struck a chord with me...

But anyhow, Kane would suit well in a soap opera, as which was indicated by his feud with Shane McMahon...thinking back to when Shane invited Kane for dinner...



The SOK has seen the following cinematic masterpieces so far this year:

Eurotrip; Scooby Doo 2; Shrek 2; The Ladykillers; Spider-Man 2; Anchorman; 13 Going On 30; Day After Tomorrow; Harry Potter 3.

Best: 13 Going On 30; Worst: Day After Tomorrow
Stilton
Frankfurter








Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 3191 days
Last activity: 3191 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.84
    Originally posted by PerthHeat
    Will they bill it as starring WWEs Kane or Glen Jacobs?

    If its Glen Jacobs watch all the profits fly out the window as people go "WHO?".


They could always bill him as Glen "Kane" Jacobs, but then how to explain why he and the Undertaker have different last names.

I hope it goes into theatrical release. I'd like to see Glen get an Oscar nomination. I'd also like to see myself in the mirror with my eyes closed, but I ain't gonna.



"Have you seen my baseball?"
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 487 days
Last activity: 487 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
What type of tax break is Vince getting out of Australia if he's having both movies filmed there? And, if its a good enough deal, could a Big 4 PPV be originating from Down Under in the next few years?



The Public Demands: Replace the Star Spangled Banner with Brass Bonanza.
Dahak
Frankfurter








Since: 12.5.02
From: Junction City OR.

Since last post: 2034 days
Last activity: 1686 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.97
Sorry but I can't imagine a Kane movie doing very good. Glen Jacobs is one butt ass ugly dude. He might make a good midcard villain in a movie but a leading man? No way.



Marge I am just trying to get into heaven not run for Jesus.
King Of Crap
Goetta








Since: 17.9.03
From: Holley, New York

Since last post: 3484 days
Last activity: 3416 days
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.19
    Originally posted by Stilton
    They could always bill him as Glen "Kane" Jacobs, but then how to explain why he and the Undertaker have different last names.


Or they could just bill him as Glen "Kane" Jacobs, and count on the fans to know that wrestling isn't real.



You think WWE now is bad? Some of us had to live through 1993-1996!
Deputy Marshall
Liverwurst








Since: 28.6.04
From: Troy, NY

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 2 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.59
I'm sorry, I hate to sound so cynical...but as if professional wrestling and in particular WWE wasn't ENOUGH of a punchline for the mainstream media, now we have this. The only thing that could save "Eye Scream Man" is if it's so horrifically bad that it gains a really popular cult following (re: the Jack Frost movies).




-click-
KaneRobot
Morcilla








Since: 24.2.02
From: Bowels

Since last post: 2433 days
Last activity: 1725 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
Honestly "Eye Scream Man" isn't any worse than "House of 1000 Corpses" and having the villain from that movie being named "Dr. Satan."

...not that House of 1000 Corpses set the world on fire, but like someone above talked about, it does have a cult following. The same could happen here if there's enough blood and weird stuff going on in it.



Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

Since last post: 12 hours
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.36
There is a market for really bad movies out there. For ever academy award winning movie that gains critical acclaim...there's stuff like "PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE" that many people love and enjoy.





The SOK has seen the following cinematic masterpieces so far this year:

Eurotrip; Scooby Doo 2; Shrek 2; The Ladykillers; Spider-Man 2; Anchorman; 13 Going On 30; Day After Tomorrow; Harry Potter 3.

Best: 13 Going On 30; Worst: Day After Tomorrow
Thread rated: 3.65
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- Jonny_English, David Flair (2004)
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