Permit me a moment to fantasy book here. No really, this will be good. A friend and I were discussing the possibilities with this and were both on the floor, doubled over in pain from laughing so hard, so you're bound to at least crack a smile at some point!
It's the Smackdown after The Royal Rumble which was won by Kurt Angle. At one point during the Rumble, there were 4 guys in the ring, Bautista from Smackdown and 3 random guys from Raw. The GM's were hyping how important it was for their show to win the Rumble, so the Raw guys team up to eliminate Bautista. Thus, Bautista is pissed.
He can't take it out on the 3 guys that eliminated him, so he takes over the Smackdown ring and refuses to leave until someone comes down to get their ass kicked. A bunch of wrestlers are sitting back stage watching Bautista on a monitor but none of them are willing to go take an ass whooping. Stephanie walks by and implores someone to go put a stop to this but everybody refuses. So she promises whoever does it will be highly rewarded (using her sexiest voice to insinuate what the reward might be) and everyone still refuses until Funaki raises his hand and timidly says "I'll do it."
So Funaki goes down and gets squashed by Bautista and later on he's shown sitting in Steph's office. Still in full throttle flirtation mode, she asks him what he wants for his reward and he responds "I would like a title shot." Steph's eyes bug out but she agrees that Funaki can face Lesnar on the next Smackdown.
Come that show, Funaki faces off against Lesnar. During the match, Bautista comes down while the ref is distracted and levels Brock with a chair shot. Funaki gets the pin and is the new champion! He's holding the belt and jumping around the ring and celebrating when suddenly he turns around and realizes that Lesnar is back up. Funaki then screams at the top of his lungs and runs from the ring at top speed.
The next two Smackdown's, we're treated to various vignettes of Funaki slinking around the building, trying to avoid being found by Lesnar. Maybe have another Rikishi bathroom scene where, after Rikishi leaves, the door to the next stall opens and Funaki passes out. Another one where Lesnar is trying to get into the women's locker room to look for Funaki there and the women refuse to let him in, probably slapping Heyman in the process. Once they leave, Funaki comes out of the shower and it's revealed that the women felt sorry for him and were protecting him.
Finally, Lesnar demands that Stephanie give him a rematch but she says that Funaki's contract only requires that he defend the title at PPVs and she can't force him into a title match on TV. She does, however, guarantee Lesnar a rematch at No Way Out. At this point, Angle interrupts and says that as the #1 contender, he should be the one who gets the title shot. Much hoopla is made and Steph agrees to make it a 3 way match for the title at No Way Out. (Note, this would serve to give everyone a hint of Angle vs. Lesnar for Wrestlemania without giving away too much.)
During the match, (which is booked before the Raw title match) Angle & Lesnar basically compete to see who can mess up Funaki the most, taking turns throwing various suplexes and the like and Funaki selling the entire thing like crazy. It finally breaks down to where Lesnar latches on the grounded bear hug and Angle snaps on the ankle lock and Funaki taps out to both finishers. There's a big argument over who won the match. Angle asks Funaki which move he tapped to and he screams out BOTH OF THEM. Lesnar demands that Steph restart the match to which Funaki starts crying. Finally, Steph announces that the title is held up until the next Smackdown.
Come Smackdown, Steph announces that Angle & Lesnar will face off for the title, but since Funaki's contract requires that he get a rematch, they'll make it another 3-way, this time, though, it will be an elimination match. They go again, doing things a little differently this time so as not to bore the people that watched the PPV. This time, the ref goes down again and Angle goes for a chair. He lays out Lesnar but as he swings for Funaki, Funaki ducks and the chair rebounds of the ropes and Angle knocks himself out, falling over backwards on top of Lesnar. Just then, the ref struggles back into the ring and Funaki lays across Angle & Lesnar and pins them both.
The next Smackdown, Vince himself comes out and says things are getting ridiculous. Maybe make some David Arquette remarks and say that he refuses to let the Undisputed title be made a mockery of. He then books Lesnar vs. Funaki in a steel cage for the main event where Lesnar destroys Funaki and regains the title, thus ensuring that we won't see Funaki in the main event at Wrestlemania. It also sets up a nice Bautista/Lesnar feud for after Mania.
Ok, so there's no way in hell this would ever happen, but you have to admit that seeing Funaki as champion, if only for a week by some fluke, would kick ass.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled flame war.
I don't really post here that often, but I was wondering if any of you could tell me whatever happened to the following wrestlers Sid Brian Knobbs Jerry Flynn (WCW Karate jobber) Steve Blackman Mike Shaw (aka Norman, Friar Ferguson, Bastion Booger)