We refer to him as the "poorly named" Simeon Rice.
"No one's ever done a movie about flowers before. So there are no guidelines." "What about "Flowers for Algernon"?" "Well, that's not about flowers. And it's not a movie." "Ok, I'm sorry, I never saw it." -- Adaptation
I have to agree with some other sentiments, TMQ was very stupid. I found it unfunny, his team nicknames were very stupid, and it was one of the most pointless columns on page 2. But Simmons is the bomb on page 2 yo.