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23.10.07 1426
The 7 - Random - Yes, A BOOZE REVIEW~!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#1 Posted on 18.11.03 2250.08
Reposted on: 18.11.10 2250.44
Hey. How ya doing? Me n the wife have pawned the kids off on our friends who are pawning their SIX children off on us this weekend for their FOURTEENTH anniversary (and they are like 5 years younger than we are. WOW!). THUS we got some beer and are drinking it. This will be short because we only got two different types of boozes.

WINTERHOOK, THE WINTER ALE FROM REDHOOK BREWERY: Me n the wife are trying to figure out who this weighs in next to what I think it tastes most like- Sam Adams Winter Lager. I look up the the website after drinking four IT says that it sports a MIGHTY 6.11% akahol level and I was definately feeling it. The wife says that it's got fuller body and more spice than Sam Adams version. Wife notices that the Sam Adams Winter Lager is fruitier than this. I like it because I really don't like Redhook. This counteracts the annoying dry taste at the end of the usual Redhook offering with a delightful, zesty, flavourful ending- a funtabulous ending that says "I AM NOT SWILL! THOUGH MY BROTHER AND SISTER BROOS ARE SWILL.... I.... I am.... I am the Winterhook. I am the Winterhook and I HAVE RISEN ABOVE!" And it does. GOODONYA! (I am dressed like a pirate! Just like a drunk Australian! AAAAAAAAAAAAR! VEGEMITE!) I would say for lower level non-swill good beer, it's better than Molson Canadian. Definately worth the $5.39 a six that the wife paid. She said she was going to pick up another six of this and six of the Redhook IPA after we drop off the 6 children that we will watch in addition to the 3 we have. Yes. Booze will ease the pain....

OLDE ENGLISH 800 MALT LIQUOR: I dunno if OE is as cool to you as it is to me. The first time I ever drank OE I thought I was suddenly the coolest motherfucker on the face of the earth. Since then, I have realized that I am actually the coolest motherfucker on the earth (not that that knocks out the rent or anything). I bought a 40 of Oe at the 7-11 dressed in my grey sweatpants and the grey sweatshirt that I grabbed completely at random out of the dark closet. I was also wearing my penny loafers. The person behind the counter at the sev was a transvestite and I was ALMOST drunk enough to ask him if he was excited about the Massachussetts Supreme Court ruling. Anyway. I ask the wife to try the OE and she looks through me. She knows that it is swill and piss-like. She tries and gives me the litany of why it sucks. "The Winterhook is a myriad of tastes and sensations and this is..." I hold my fist next to the bottle. "A balled fist of motherfucking alcohol?" "Oh yeah", she says. See. Being a broke Near-Redneck motherfucker from the only interesting part of chesapeake, Virginia- South Norfolk- who would move to Richmond- the only other place in Virginia I would want to live- I have enjoyed all the flavors of the malt liquor and believe you me taste has nothing to do with it. BUT herein lies the rub. THE RUB! NONE of them taste as shitty as swill beer. they ALL taste better than Michelob and Icehouse and Miller Lite. Budweiser gets on its knees and sucks Steel Reserve's festering pustuled dick. Colt 45 gets off its custon chrome Indian and skullfucks the corpse of Coors light and then walks past the Twins and pisses on the grave of Natural Lite. Out of all the Malt Liquors, I like Magnum the best because it has the cool logo that I should get tattooed to my arm. OE rocks because it also gives you the corn starch hyped injection of booze that you need when you are trying to get TO THE MOTHERFUCKING GODDAM DALLAS COWBOY GAME WHICH IS NOT SHOWING UP FAST ENOUGH AND JEBUS MOTHERFUDGING CRAP, IT'S ONLY FUCKING FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING TUESDAY AND SUNDAY IS LIKE, what? 8 DAYS AWAY?! Anyhoo, OE also has 40 ounces written three times on the label. It also hurts my stomach to write and drink it at the same time. Go get the Winterhook. It's good drinkin'. I will always love you. Gwan! Git!

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.
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Madame Manga
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#2 Posted on 18.11.03 2300.10
Reposted on: 18.11.10 2300.30
Beverages and More needs your booze reviews printed out and posted on their beer shelves, the way they do with Wine Spectator columns recommending the Cabernet Sauvignon and the Bordeaux. I would buy more beer there if they did that. Especially the part about skullfucking the corpse of Coors Light.

MM

(edited by Madame Manga on 18.11.03 2101)
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#3 Posted on 18.11.03 2304.29
Reposted on: 18.11.10 2305.05
Madame Manga, that was sweetest thing to say.
ShotGunShep
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#4 Posted on 18.11.03 2359.36
Reposted on: 18.11.10 2359.36
If you really want to know your 40s check out this website.
http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/40ozarchive.html

BTW, OE is about as good as you are going to get. But you should try to get the High Gravity if you want more bang for your buck.
Stay away from the big name beers when going for a 40. Brands like Budweiser aren't actually malt liquor! They're just regular old beer! Drinking 40s is about getting drunk for about 4 or 5 bucks!

And dude, Magnum tastes like piss.
Big G
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#5 Posted on 19.11.03 0011.46
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0012.41
GIZDOODOZNSTUBSOOPERSPALE and AVAOODWEEGEND

Strine. The language spoken by all true drunken Australian butchers.

(edited by Big G on 18.11.03 2214)
evilwaldo
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#6 Posted on 19.11.03 0027.04
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0028.20
Ahhhh, OE. There is nothing better.

Dean, this review brings back memories of my last family gathering at the Michigan-ND football game where everyone sent me in for beer so I got the parental and older relatives Labatt Light and a 40 of King Cobra for myself. Mind you, the Cobra cost $1.49 of 40 oz of liquid gold. I believe I maxed out my bang for the buck.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#7 Posted on 19.11.03 0656.00
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0657.10
Ah, King Cobra.... mmmmmm.... booze.....

They don't make the divine Crazy Horse anymore, do they?
JoshMann
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#8 Posted on 19.11.03 0810.37
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0811.05
    Originally posted by Madame Manga
    Especially the part about skullfucking the corpse of Coors Light.

    MM

    (edited by Madame Manga on 18.11.03 2101)


Well, in all fairness that's one corpse that NEEDS to be skullfucked.

There aren't TOO too many things I miss about Canada, but the fact that Rickard's Red is hard to find in the States is definitely Top 5.
tarnish
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#9 Posted on 19.11.03 0840.23
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0840.24
As always, DEAN speaks the TRUTH~!

Winterhook is a tasty, tasty brew, not sullied by the general thinness that plagues any and all Sam Adams these days.

I admit I'm also a fan of the RedHook IPA.

"The cheapest 40 is better than the best shitty beer"

Truer words have not been spoken. I'd rather cuddle up with a Colt .45 than allow Molson Canadian, Labbatt's Anything or Moosehead (Named after the wrong endô) to pass my lips.

Mind you, I'm more likely to curl up with a couple Fin du Monde or Maudite, but we don't all have the luxury of their availability...

    Originally posted by Blanket Jackson

    There aren't TOO too many things I miss about Canada, but the fact that Rickard's Red is hard to find in the States is definitely Top 5.



Rickard's has the honey brown now and the pale ale. Between their variety pack and Sleeman's variety pack, summer this year just couldn't last long enough.





(edited by tarnish on 19.11.03 1043)
ThreepMe
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#10 Posted on 19.11.03 0856.47
Reposted on: 19.11.10 0857.01
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    (I am dressed like a pirate! Just like a drunk Australian! AAAAAAAAAAAAR! VEGEMITE!)



I just about fell out of my chair.

If there was anything that should have a sound clip...this is it.

Aussie Pirates...That's comedy gold.
Bullitt
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#11 Posted on 19.11.03 1549.58
Reposted on: 19.11.10 1551.26
OE is good, but you can't go wrong with the St. Ides, man. Nothin' better than throwing down $1.49 for a 40 of the Crooked I.

I miss living in the States.
drjayphd
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#12 Posted on 20.11.03 1728.22
Reposted on: 20.11.10 1729.01
    Originally posted by ShotGunShep
    If you really want to know your 40s check out this website.
    http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/40ozarchive.html

    BTW, OE is about as good as you are going to get. But you should try to get the High Gravity if you want more bang for your buck.
    Stay away from the big name beers when going for a 40. Brands like Budweiser aren't actually malt liquor! They're just regular old beer! Drinking 40s is about getting drunk for about 4 or 5 bucks!

    And dude, Magnum tastes like piss.


Preach on, good man. Only 40 I've had was OE 800 High Gravity, and it did me well. Or maybe it was the massive amount of alcohol I'd been drinking the rest of Senior Week... either way, no complaints here, maybe even a hearty thumbs-up.
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