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The 7 - Guest Columns - Tough Enough [#308, 12/05/02]
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#1 Posted on 6.12.02 0030.41
Reposted on: 6.12.09 0032.52

See? They started it early AGAIN.

Open. They started it so early the guy doesn't get the TV PG L thing till we get to Rebekah, even.

Previously: They're going to Iceland. Kelly thinks it was the right decision to cut Scott - well of course she thinks so. Eric says Scott's cut hurt him more than any other cut.

House. Sad music of No More Scott. Looks like various people are hanging out in the Red Room - Jamie's wrapping her arms awful tight around Matt for someone who has a crush on John. Apparently, Scott left them all little notes to say goodbye (maybe he watched Down Low too?) and Jamie's said "We may have not been friends and we might have fought a lot, but I respect you and good luck." Jamie's touched. Jonah says he almost lost it when Scott looked back and waved as he want out the door last week - they all really miss him. Jonah: "People didn't expect Scott to be cut" - WHAT. Matt tells us he thought Kelly would be the one to be cut, which is reasonable - it's just irrational not to have some expectation that Scott could be cut last week, seeing he was almost cut the last two times. Matt tells Jonah that he's been wrong every week guessing who'd be cut. It's all to build a "you don't know who's going to be cut" vibe, which even if it is plausible to them, doesn't really hold water for anyone watching this show, since they spend 10 minutes on building up the possible suspects each and every time. Jonah wonders if they'll cut in Iceland - Matt thinks probably so. Smart guy, that Matt.

Trax. Hey, if they were going back to Trax why did they bother giving out the tickets last time? Jonah says it's very serious, no one knows who's gonna be cut, blah blah blah. Al says that they're not even thinking about who's going to win this, and one bad day or bad moment could flush weeks of hard work down the drain, which doesn't seem fair. He does give that it's a lot of pressure.

Bumps. Every Kelly bump is in slow motion with her screaming in pain and holding her back. Great sell job, Shawn! Oh. They seem to be progressing - well maybe not Kelly, seeing as the way she blew that armdrag right there. Justin gives her credit for toughing out the back injury, and he'll be the only one to do so this entire episode. I'm just saying. Justin points out that she's not progressing, because of the back. Jamie says that if Kelly's complaining this much now about her back hurting, how's she gonna handle it if she a WWE superstar? 

House. Jonah talks on the phone to his friend, but we see all of five seconds and segue to a replay of the prank Jonah played last week. It's still very funny. Out in the pool room, they're thinking about revenge - I guess this is happening while Jonah's on the phone elsewhere? Maybe. Eric's idea is to put laxative in his drink, which isn't really creative but I suppose it'll be memorable. John and Matt seem to like this idea. Eric is looking forward to Jonah pooping in his pants. Aren't we all.

Night. Jonah's getting ready for bed. Very carefully. He explains to us that every night before bed, he'll strip his bed and inspect everything, because he knows payback is coming. Eric lays in bed and laughs at Jonah, somewhat as if Jonah is about to waltz into his master plan - he tells us that they're playing some mind games, just to keep him guessing. See, mind games, I enjoy. Laxatives, eh. 

Morning. Kelly stretches her back, because it hurts, she explains. 

Trax. They still haven't gone to Iceland? I bet someone could still not get on the plane if they really sucked (but because of the preview, you know it doesn't happen.) Big explains to us that the past week hasn't been good for Kelly - she's had to sit out and she's been limited because of that back. It sure seems that Anyone Will Get Cut, only if Kelly's nickname is Anyone.

They're doing "thrown out of the ring" bumps, which last year's cast didn't get to till they got on their vacation - I don't know if that means anything. Kelly of course blows hers (not really directly due to her back injury, but because she's not concentrating on the single hand plant you do on the apron to land right, which is more indirect.) After a while, Kelly can't get back in and has to be checked on by Set Medic Dan. Big says Kelly's gonna have to suck up the pain better OR ELSE. Obviously, they view this a lot closer to Nick's injury than Jonah's. Break.

They're just gonna run the generic Holiday Heat ad for a month, aren't they? Eh.

Kelly's getting her back worked on. She says it's constant pain in her back. Al is more positive than Big - he says that it's been a struggle for Kelly, but she's kept plugging away. "Do I think she's gonna come around? It's possible, anything's possible." Ivory talks about adapting to working with pain, like Kelly should do.

Lunch! Eric had successfully used the laxative (half the bottle), putting it one of Jonah's smoothe. The logo is annoying blurred out on the smoothe. Everyone calmly eats lunch - Jonah drinks the whole thing. He seems fine. The others sneak peeks at how he's reacting.

Back to work. Jonah's sweating - Matt takes a look at him, and has to look away to smile. Jonah seems like he's swaying and shifting back and forth. Eric and Matt pretend to be talking about something in the ring as to not stare at Jonah and laugh. They don't have great poker faces, I'll say. Someone gives Jonah a sunset flip and Jonah's even more uncomfortable. Eric isn't really keeping the laugh in. The trainers are aware too and are trying to keep it in. Jonah looks uncomfortable - than asks Bill if he can take a break. Bill swears at him to go already. Jonah: "I went to the bathroom, crap so bad, sat on the toilet, relived." Outside of the men's room. "I look to my left, to see where the toilet paper is, and there's no toilet paper!" Back to the men's room, where some swearing can be heard. "So I'm like, oh man." Whoever took out the toilet paper, that's a smart person. Cut back to the ring, where all the trainers and kids are trying to very quietly crack up, as to not let Jonah know they're in on it. Jonah's calling for someone to help out but no one's there. 

Bill walks over to the bathroom door and yells "C'mon!" "Big, I need some toilet paper-" "I'm not Big, you as[bleep]ole! What do you mean, you need toilet paper? How f[bleeping]cking old are you? Here's an idea, why don't I come in and wipe your ass for you! You got two minutes!" Meanwhile, Al's got a roll of toilet paper, but he's completely unrolling it. Jonah keep speaking out of the room for help and seeing only the camera man. Al unrolls and tears off all but the last three sheets, than walks over to the bathroom. "Found some! That's all they had! ["c'mon man"] I'm serious! ["Swear to God-"] I swear to God - that's all they had left, I don't know where the rest of it went." Al wanders to the kids and tell them the plan. 

Jonah rejoins the people at the ring, and they let him in - he's on Candid Camera! Wait, no. John shows him the bottle. Everyone laughs about Jonah crapping. He says it was good rib, sounding much like Tazz when he does so.

Big explains that trip is Thursday. How do you pay for such a trip? By giving the kids a whole boat load of free merchandise to mention and model for the camera right here. Since no one's giving anything to ME I don't see why I should mention this - the loving zoom in on name of the maker of the bags at the end is really touching though.

House, night. Justin and Kelly discuss the trip - they'll be gone for 11 days, but 2.5 of that is travel. Kelly isn't really existed, because she's not sure what's going to happen. She does plan on not getting cut.

Packing. John says it's a great chance for him to go someplace where he wouldn't go otherwise. Matt says it'll be a whole new world. I feel like singing! The mood has changed. Eric says he's heard the nightlife is "off the wall". I don't know why I needed that quote.

Transportation montage, to give you the impression this was not taped on a sound stage. And Iceland montage, so you know it's not all ice or something. No Bjork montage. 

Night, in Iceland. They all go (and by all, I guess I should point that Ivory seems to be not present for the trip this time - Bill IS here) to siggiHall, which is one of the top 50 restaurant in the world according to Big. And probably some source Big's quoting, I guess. Must resist obvious jokes. They're all well dressed for this and it's a great meal. The point is that they all get a special drink - Black Death - because they're in Iceland. It's an original Viking snaps! I don't care. They seem to think it's a bit strong.

Clubbing. Barring doesn't sound right. Justin said they started to get "loose". John and Jamie are dancing together, I don't know if I'm supposed to be noting that anymore. Anyway, you know it's important that Eric and some girl are dancing together because we get this in low-tech handheld cam, presumably because the real camera operator had got stinking drunk by this time. Also, a song with the one lyric "I think I'm falling in love again" is playing. Jamie explains they were "swapping a little saliva on the dance floor - actually, a LOT of saliva on the dance floor." Jamie: "I think Eric went out to get a girl. To have sex with." I thought they were gonna play charades - mostly because Random Icelandic Girl's imitating a jockey right now. Jamie thinks the circumstances were a little scummy but welcome to a club already.

As Eric and Girl Still With No Name, Don't Tell Me We're Doing This Again wait for a cab or a ride or something outside, John explains that Eric was having a good time and the girl was having a good time, and they wanted to continue having this good time back at the hotel. Eric [and, let's note that this is an interview conducted at Trax, which would mean it'd happen after they got back from Iceland] says the girl actually did have a name, but it was some weird Icelandic name he couldn't pronounce and he didn't bother learning a nickname or something. Basically, he doesn't know her name but he's got a flimsy excuse. "Not one of my brightest moments" - he means going to the room with her, not the name thing. Break.

Iceland. Day. Morning, probably. Back at the hotel, there's Eric walking out of his room in his underwear, and talking even stupider: "When I wake up in the morning, I realize that I definitely made a mistake. And I was like 'oh sh[bleep]t, what do I do?' I went over Justin's room while they, uh, they get her out of the room." Eric calls Jonah (his roommate) on Justin's phone - he wants to know if Icelandic Chick is leaving - she's still in bed. Eric to Jonah: "What the f[bleep]ck is her problem, get her out of there!" I'm sure there's some grand reason while Eric isn't being nice and at least urging The Woman He Slept With Last Night to leave by himself, but no such reason is given to us - Eric just seems like a prick who can't even handle his own business. Justin smartly wants nothing to do with it, but Eric buys him off with - two drinks! Wow, that's kinda sad there by Justin.

Justin and Jonah laugh and talk with the girl as she's getting ready and out. The Girl picks up Eric's passport, and says that it'd be a great memory, and Justin doesn't seem to like that idea, but Jonah (who's probably not too happy about this situation - he at least treated both women better!) is laughingly okay with when he finds out it's Eric's. She leaves it, of course. I don't think this is her first tourist. Eric calls again from the next room: "I hear my name - I don't want to hear my name mentioned over there." Does Eric have a girlfriend that we've never talked about before? I'm trying to put this together and that's all I can guess - it still doesn't make sense for him to be so rude after the fact, but maybe he's thinking that the cameras aren't sure how she got to the room and if they cover it up now, they won't be able to put the story back later? Grasping at straws. Icelandic Lady takes a red Footlocker shirt from Eric's suitcase - Justin tells her not to, and she answers back "I think I deserve this!" Again, Jonah seems to realize it's Eric and doesn't mind all that much. Back to Eric on the phone: "Tell her to shut the f[bleep]ck up and get her the hell out of there." What, is Eric the president and Jonah and Justin his secret service men trying to cover up his misdeeds? Either Eric is really screwed up or there's something messed up here. That may be underpants and not a shirt - Justin says something like it is, but it looks more like a folded up shirt. Eric is hiding the next room over. Icelandic Girl again say she deserves this much, and is offended when Jonah calls her "Ula" - that's not her name, though we don't get to hear what it really is. These foreign people and their lack of names, it's really annoying. Eric opens a closet door to block the view from the hallway (why he just doesn't close the main door is beyond me.) Icelandic Girl walks out of the room, walks by the next room to see someone hiding (he's awful at it) in there - she stops and obviously knows it's Eric hiding, but laughs moves on. What does she need with him, she's got her shirt! Icelandic girl gets to the elevator and says goodbye - "I got this [shirt]!"

I guess it's something when they way Kenny handled a situation looks good? They played this completely obvious, for whatever reason.

Breakfast. Big walks in - the trainers aren't there. "We decided their needs to be a cut. Here. In Iceland." Loser goes home immediately. John does the best reaction, but everyone's a little bit shocked. Eric seems to be watching his life pass by. I guess it's too late to shave his head. Big leaves.

Big says they don't have a plan when the cuts are going to be made, it's based on performance. Big: "When you're a WWE superstar, you're a WWE superstar both inside the ring and outside the ring. These kids need to realize that." Cutting Scott after he got insanely drunk and had to be given an ambulance ride to the hospital really drove that point home, huh? Oh, right. Matt points out to us that they usually get a day's warning about a cut, but today it's "an hour before it's gonna happen." John talks about everyone thinking it could be him - but really, it's only going to be Eric or Kelly.

Big explains the idea of going to Iceland was to train in the climates, as everyone walks to the ring set up in a field. It seems like a wet mid-Fall day - not especially cold, though Big makes it sound like the end of the world. Everyone's wearing sweats of some kind. 

Ring work. Lots of corner whips. Kelly's back is bugging her again. They're doing slams - well, not Kelly, because she can't lift anyone up to drop them. Justin says he was thinking about jumping in a way so he wouldn't get hurt WHEN Kelly dropped him, which makes sense after a time or two. Jonah points out that Jamie can pick anyone up, so the expectations are the same for Kelly - and as we can see, she can't even slam Jamie.  

When they got to the ring, it was mid day. Now, the sun is setting. Which still could mean an hour, I guess, given Iceland's days at times, but I'm guessing it was more than that. Maybe the warning before this cut was low because they had a good feeling who'd it be and didn't want that person to have to sit around a long time to wait for a flight - they still got the same one ring session to prove/disprove their case. 

Of course, when we look back at the kids, it's still midday, so who knows what that sunset was about.

Eric: "It's definitely not in my character to do what I did. It's a strike against myself, right away. So I'm a little nervous about that." Kelly: "Inside, I'm so nervous, because I don't want to leave, and I know that in about 30 seconds, I couldn't be here any longer."

Al says he's not going to prolong this, and he's just gonna do it quick. Which makes sense, seeing as they have no chairs to sit down on to. Kelly, you're cut.

I wonder if they spend so much time on the Eric thing - they found as many clips to have someone talking about what a horrible thing it was to have a one night stand with a random person - just to give you the impression Kelly could possibly not be cut here. (It didn't really work for me.) It doesn't change Eric looking really bad, though.

Kelly cries and cries and cries. Hugs for Al and Bill and all the kids. She walks off with Big, who is wearing a Team Extreme cap and a red MTV sweatshirt . We see that non-Trax interview they've been showing the last couple weeks, which now obviously was her goodbye interview. Yes, she's crying - she almost picks up an English accent through the tears, which is odd. "I'm very sad, because I came in to this thinking, 'I want to be one of the two people to get contracts'. This is just the beginning, even though it's the end at the same time. I'm still gonna go after my dream. "

Al: "So we're now down to six. We started with thousands, down to 25, down to 13, now down to 6. We'll take it down to 2. That means four of you who are standing here right now will also be cut." Reaction shots.

Kelly walks down a road, alone. That's gonna be a long trip back to the States!

Next Time: Still in Iceland. Bill gets pissed off at someone. Jamie is pretty sure Jonah hates her, and Jonah says he's not too fond of Jamie. They have an animated discussion over a meal. Bill to someone: "You said you're getting naked! When are you going to learn?"

If we've learned anything this season, you can do anything you'd like to do outside the ring, as long as it doesn't affect anything in it, or reflect badly on the company.

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#2 Posted on 6.12.02 0728.44
Reposted on: 6.12.09 0729.01
Good recap, Cubs.
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#3 Posted on 6.12.02 0924.39
Reposted on: 6.12.09 0925.21
It seems so unnecessarily mean to cut people on the trip like that. (I know they were planning on it last year, but Hawk went and quit for no good reason while they were in South Africa and knocked everything for a loop). I could understand if someone did something wrong and you wanted them gone NOW, but all Kelly did was suck, and she was doing that long before they left for Iceland. Just kinda seems to me like a way to tell the MTV audience that "the WWE's got some sack, yo".
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#4 Posted on 6.12.02 1448.19
Reposted on: 6.12.09 1456.44
By any chance did the shirt that the Icelander girl get say "I had sex with Eric and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!"? Just curious.
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#5 Posted on 6.12.02 1806.02
Reposted on: 6.12.09 1807.28
Perhaps "Footlocker" means something different in Icelandic.
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#6 Posted on 9.12.02 1352.34
Reposted on: 9.12.09 1353.22
I missed the show Thursday, so when I read the recap, I thought to myself, "Naw, Eric couldn't have been that much of a cowardly twit." I saw it last night for myself, & sure enough, the recap was indeedy-do dead-bang accurate. What an idiot!

I'm sure the trainers will be mightily impressed with Eric's acumen at deftly handling that interaction with the public. Plus, his leadership skills in marshalling the other guys to bail out his sorry ass will no doubt be noticed.
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