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Andouille
Level: 86
   
Posts: 79/2042
EXP: 5948785
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Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly
Since last post: 2514 days
Last activity: 236 days
|  #1 Posted on 1.2.02 1538.10
Reposted on: 1.2.09 1559.06 | LAST MONDAY: I know, I don't believe it either - it seems so long ago, and on a different coast. The one thing I want you to notice from this set of clips is that while Shane is lying down on the mat, *he makes sure to adjust his jersey* lest somebody tries checking out his....let's say "abs" but YOU know what I mean.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
I am SHOCKED and OFFENDED this first twenty minutes wasn't devoted to PROMOS and INTERVIEWS
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
MOMENTS AGO! Three paragraphs ago - notice that ROCK started the fisticuffs here - ROCK delivered the second Rock Bottom - ROCK is the whiny whiner who whines
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Jeff does the Vulcan mind meld on Lita.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Hey, wanna see something interesting? During this Nike ad where the ballplayers sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in different languages, hit the close captioning - it's all in English. Sorta defeats the purpose of the ad, don'cha think?
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
TONIGHT: It's the big one - Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Undertaker! "The biggest main event in the history of SmackDown!" says Cole - hmmm, I guess TLC3 must have been SHIT
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
That guy in the second row is STILL blowing bubbles
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Is Kane the biggest topcarder to not have his own website yet?
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
To his credit, Cole's said "how come Angle is teaming with the man who threw his medals into the river?" about once a match.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
This is a match you can point to to prove two things that are always said but seldom backed up with actual evidence when you ask for it: 1) Kane still has potential and deserves the spot he gets near the top of the card, and 2) Kurt Angle deserves your wrestler of the year vote because he's been so consistently good with so many different wrestlers this year. And the BEST part is they still did FIVE MINUTES after the crap run-in. What a good match.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Back in the Room of Fun, Angle kisses his medals (doesn't he know where they've been?)
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
I've figured it out! Regal's theme sounds like a WebTV MIDI file.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Survivor Series is proudly presented by XBOX - how come nobody's ever *embarrassed* to present something?
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
I'm not going to note the coincidental cutting way back of McMahons in relation to my "McMahon-free" recap, but I WILL say that it's good to know that a lot of people were as annoyed as I was...and that the WWF took steps and worked on it. It was probably more of a Sweeps thing, anyway. (Smiley)
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
Today at WWF New York, Albert, Tommy Dreamer, and Justin Credible were tellin' the kids about Respect, Education, Achievement, and Leadership - get it? Get REAL - R.E.A.L. okay yeah cheesy - plus, are you ready to learn about life from Albert, Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible? THERE'S a trio.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.11.2001
HEY LOOK A "STEPH CAN'T ACT" SIGN - IT AIN'T JUST ME, FOLKS
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
My stopwatch is talking to me - it says "Stacy took five seconds to get in the ring - then only spent five seconds in the ring until she got out again." My stopwatch wants an episode of Heat written around it.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
And now it's time for a Contractually Obligated Apron Appearance by Stacy - shake that ass, show me whatchoo workin' with.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
Oh boy, "Iron Chef USA!" - it's not too late to kill yourself NOW
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
MOMENTS AGO! It was a veritable festival of run-ins
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
Have you heard? On Monday, it's a Special WWF Edition of "The Weakest Link!" Check your local listings and be SHOCKED to learn the show is STILL on NBC!
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
Austin, watching a monitor, reacts to this - HOLY CRAP SOMEBODY WATCHES THIS SHOW
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.11.2001
I saw my first Kings game as TBS showed the Raptors/Kings game - and as much as I used to be annoyed by John Thompson, Kevin Harlan has taken the crown away with his UNBELIEVABLE hardon for Vince Carter. "OHHHH MY WHAT AN INCREEEEDIBLE PLAAAAAAY BY MY BOYFRIEND VIIIIINCE CARRRRRTER!" Kevin - DUDE, the Raptors are still DOWN BY TWELVE POINTS despite that semi-incredible individual effort - now how 'bout sperading some love Sacto's way?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
POINTS TO SELF v. KANE in a nontitle match - I'm gonna go out on a limb and say van Dam pins him. Call me crazy, I know. To his credit, van Dam DOES cower away from the corner flames - as if he'd NEVER seen that before!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Commentators shill "Iron Chef USA: Showdown in Las Vegas" - I feel less alive now
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
From RAW, Kurt Angle drops the US title thanks to some SINISTER PYRO
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
This just in: the winners of the undisputed titles will keep their jobs no matter what happens in the Winner Take All - that could be interesting, but probably won't.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Jakks Pacific RealSounds Arena ad - wow, get me an Earl Hebner figure! Woot!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
MOMENTS AGO! Well, at least THIS time the replay actually shows a bit of the MATCH! But not much
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
WELL IT'S THE BIG DDP v. DR. TEETH - that's Big Show coming out to Page's music, wearing one of Kanyon's old wigs and a POSITIVELY PAGE plus size jacket - and some fake choppers. "It's me - it's me - it's DDP." Cole does a big fake laugh in case you weren't sure if this was funny or not.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Well sure enough, invoking the spirit of the XFL will *always* bring out BILLIONAIRE VINCE - Heyman falls to his knees and salaams away. NOW will it get good?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
I gotta tellya, I was kinda hoping that "shoot" meant "acknowledges that Shane and Stephanie don't really own WCW and ECW" but I guess that's what hearing about it ahead of time'll getcha. It doesn't take much to excite some people, I suppose. Me, I would have been happier with another Steve Blackman/Crash hardcore match. That MAY be why I'm sitting behind a computer writing ABOUT it.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Courtesy: Weakest Link Productions, Inc. and BBC - here's the entire hour distilled down to just over two minutes - I like to save the Triple H jokes for more desperate recappers
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Hey, I'm as surprised as YOU are that Torrie seemed to catch that subtlety!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Off the ropes, legdrop - 1, 2, no! Man I thought that move ALWAYS worked.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Torrie ducks the clothesline and hits the Crappiest Handspring Elbow in the World.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Regal grabs her hair...talks some trash...double underhook into a HOLY CRAP Torrie almost lost her head until remembering to tuck for the powerbomb.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Sadly, we get no more long, loving looks at Ivory's cleavage in this segment.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
You know, it just isn't a WWF special video look if it doesn't have that succession of five or ten clips of people making an "ahhhhh" face in a row.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
Credits are up and it's a good sign if we've made it this far without anybody saying "Montreal" - we'll see ya at the pay-per-view!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.11.2001
One W, four O's, one bang spells Woooo!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
TONIGHT: Gravy Bowl Invitational - oh boy - Stacy vs. Trish - not using last names implies objectification
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
But first....THE MAN makes a solo ascent into Kitchen Stadium
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Look! They're STILL throwing crap into the gravy bowl! Jerry Lawler says "breast. Yoohoo!"
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Aw, isn't that sweet? Undertaker is JEALOUS that KURT is Vince's bitch instead of HIM! "C'mon, Vince, don't you wanna fuck ME in the ass any more? Remember how GOOD it used to be for us?" and Vince is all "It's not you, baby, it's ME. Now go turn a trick for us, baby, give us a little SPENDIN' KASH MONEY"
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Wow, I think they succeeded in making BOTH men look bad. Bra-VO.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
A creme pie is added to the gravy bowl. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
KISS ASSMAN makes his way down to the ring. Crowd helpfully chants "Kiss my ass."
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Play Regal's MIDI file!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Quick camera cuts are unable to mask THE WORST CATAPULT EVER.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
AHHHHHHH OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO MY KID BROTHER SEES ME SMOKING WEED NOOOOOOOOOOO OHHHHHHHHH IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That ad - I tell ya.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Jeff EMOTES and throws down his ice pack! He just wants a young boy, DAMMIT!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Meanwhile, a smirking Chris Jericho exits from behind the door with the MR. McMAHON placard on it. OH NO HE PISSED IN HIS TEA SOMEBODY GET TO VINCE AND TELL HIM!!!!!!! Amazingly, three seconds pass before a commentator uses the word "ego" in connection with Jericho
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Did you know one of the continents on the IC title is *Antarctica*? I mean, has ANYBODY EVER wrestled THERE?!? I guess if you're gonna put all seven continents on there...well, wait, that's like the entire world, right? Makes the title seem...oh wait, they're starting.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
You can call him a no-good, cheatin' egomaniac, but don't forget to add that he's a WINNER!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.11.2001
Hey, there's no stage tonight - isn't that the international sign of "somebody drives something to the ring later in the show?"
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Lita pays Jeff Hardy a visit. She's busy doing that "I'm a woman so I WORRY" thing.
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
The usual suspects break it up - HOLY CRAP Charles Robinson in a WWF referee's shirt - BUT BUT HE WAS FIRED BUT I guess it'd be too much to ask somebody to...oh oh, here's that word....WRITE a storyline explaining how these fired WCW officials have suddenly gotten jobs with the WWF.......I mean, crap. HEY GUYS! OTHER wrestling companies used to treat their viewers like STUPID IDIOTS, and golly, I wonder - are THEY in business now? ARE THEY? HMMMMM Anyway, Angle promises Edge that there's more where that came from. Then he hits the punchline. "That's gonna leave a mark." Here, let me put this in big bold print for the people who might otherwise skim by it so you can see I think this is important:
THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK WHO WRITE THIS CRAP ARE SO BUSY LOOKING FOR THE FUNNY FUNNY THAT THEY ARE LEAVING GAPING PLOT HOLES FOR ME TO BITCH ABOUT AND THIS IS WHY I AM STARTING TO THINK THEY ARE LIKE SUCKING
(Hey, and I know a lot of you are like "only NOW you're STARTING?" but respect our differences, winky.)
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Q: Why does Stacy come out with Bubba Ray but not with D-Von? A: RACISM
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Got van Dam - whoa - LAST RIDE ONTO THE TRASHCAN. van Dam is dead. Hey, you know what? I bet Undertaker could cover him right now and van Dam would STILL kick out after 2.
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
How can you tell Undertaker's back to the dark side? He doesn't use his headlight.
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Replay confirms it - brass knux are an old school CLASSIC and I'm surprised it took somebody this long to think of including it in an angle - oh wait, I know why - there ARE no brass knuckles in soap operas!
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
But before Jackie comes out, "No Chance in Hell" plays and THE ASS walks out. Lawler wonders if he's here to induct her into the VMKMAC - maybe we'll get lucky and he'll just make her bark like a dog instead.
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Vince sneaks in a gulp - he CAN'T RESIST
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
Wow, seeing Charles Robinson out there in a WWF zebra shirt with NO EXPLANATION WHATSOVER just makes me furious. In fact, I'm not gonna recap this match - you and I both know what's gonna happen anyway.
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
1, 2, Taker PULLS HIM UP!! Damn, he's found a way to become even more awesome! I HEART UNDERTAKER!
WWF SMACKDOWN 29.11.2001
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