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The 7 - Recap Feedback - Year in Quotes 2001: February 2001 Smackdowns
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Andouille
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Since: 3.1.02
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#1 Posted on 1.2.02 1516.40
Reposted on: 1.2.09 1529.04
You know what...this is LAST week's show. I have the wrong tape in the VCR. Sorry...lemme fix that.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

Chyna shills Stacker 2 - it doesn't do much for your neck...unless your neck is all fat and it needs some burning
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

I hope you can properly imagine Stephanie's HIDEOUSLY melodramatic overacting here.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

That's either a new belt or Jericho has some KILLER belt shine.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

Richards is so angry he actually has to LOOSEN HIS TIE!
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

ahhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. 1, 2, 3. And they said the standard garden variety "WWF Wrestling Challenge" SQUASH was dead! (5:04)
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

THE FUN BROTHERS v. THE ISLANDERS 2001 in First Blood
...
Old school - don't know how it helps him bleed, but that might be why I'm not a wrestler.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

Kurt Angle is WALKING!
Meanwhile, the Helmsleys are WALKING!
Wonder what I'll say next?
Meanwhile, the Rock is WALKING!
I *knew* I'd say that.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

Austin heads up the ramp as Stephanie makes her one "mean" face. I bet she has a hand on her hip, too.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

Oh yeah....this show needed just one more thing: More Blackman.
WWF SMACKDOWN 1.2.2001

BILLIONAIRE VINCE wants to get a quick makeup for not having too much talkin' on LAST week's show, so out he comes.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Chyna inhales some Stacker 2 - and it goes straight to her chest
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

And now, Weider's Dynamic Gullibility Checker presents the WWF Slam of the Week!
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Aw, shit, the FUN BROTHERS are out to Kane's pyro and music to muck up this match. Aren't *I* the sucker for calling this match.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

We can only ponder the significance of the stuffed Frankenstein's monster that always seems to be riding in Raven's shopping cart o' plundah.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Ivory put in the corner...looks like it's time for the broncobuster - the really, really slow broncobuster.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Let's Take a Special Video Look at the XFL - or as I like to call it, FUHFUHWID
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

XFL hype - again - HE HATE ADS
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Rios slaps the money out of his hand and says some more Spanish - I hit the SAP button to see if he'd speak English on that channel, but no.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Rock comes back - right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT, Show still on his feet. Rock says "didn't you see me spit in my hand?" and does it again. Show STILL up - Rock's all "dammit, I SPIT IN MY FIST - GO DOWN ALREADY" - and the *third* spit punch *does* indeed put Show off his feet...and through the commentary table. But Rock is down as well - that took a lot (of saliva) out of him.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

I would give Earl Hebner a hundred dollars to get his ass back in the ring and count out both men....but that's just me.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

God only knows what Hebner was checking out at the time, but it definitely wasn't in the ring.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Cole: "No one has *ever* kicked out of the People's Elbow!" Has Cole ever considered writing a book about wrestling?
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

Only one problem...while Rock was going up, his leg clipped Hebner, thereby knocking him out for a million years.
WWF SMACKDOWN 8.2.2001

UPN celebrates Valentine's Week with "the Goddesses of Love." I think "goddess" must be a codeword for "fat chick."
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Do you suppose H ever thinks "this entrance is making me THIRSTY" while walking to ringside?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands outside awaiting Steve Austin's arrival. Would you say he's a goddess of love?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Any CD with Kriss Kross *and* Another Bad Creation should probably be burned...or made eligible for sainthood...lemme work on that dilemma
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Here's another look at Linda - no, this is not a still photo
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Terri is modeling a lovely St. Val's Day red number - Matt seems oblivious (what, doesn't he like girls?)
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

NOW THE SHIRT'S OFF SQUEEEEEEEAL (nobody squeals for Saturn 'cause he came out shirtless, see)
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Time once again for the Goddesses of Love...and Crash Holly (who has a last name in this clip). The bigger woman throws some cards to the ground so he has to bend over to pick them up so they can look at his ass. Normally, I'd go back and find a more aesthetically pleasing way to break up that previous sentence, but this sucks and I ain't spendin' ANY more time on it than is necessary.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Austin with a kick to the gut, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, Benoit kicks, Austin right, Benoit kicks, kick, positions reversed, chop, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, Austin reverses back, right, right, right, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. These two are technically excellently technical and excellent! I give it A MILLION STARS, Tom!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Benoit with the kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Chop, chop, right. Right. Kick, right, I hope I'm calling these moves correctly!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Austin with the death suplex - who had 2:05 in the "first wrestling manoeuvre" pool?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Benoit stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Years from now I may look back upon THIS match as "the finest I've ever called." This is the one for the time capsule, folks.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

This is subtle - watch Austin refuse to give us the cameraman ONE good shot of his beet red chest.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

XFL hype - no, John Avery is NOT a Lethal Weapon. STEVE BLACKMAN is a Lethal Weapon, friends.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

BILLIONAIRE VINCE is in the ring *again?* Who gave him the sweet "top of the hour" segment? Oh, wait, he runs the company - HE probably did. (That's pretty smarky of you to say, isn't it?) No, see, when *I* say it, it's "quality analysis." (You're half right - it's "anal.") Hey, I don't let *you* in here to make the jokes. (You're just talking to me because you don't wanna recap a second fifteen minutes of McMahon! Now suck it up and get those fingers moving!)
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

...look, I love you guys and I FEEL for those of you who don't get this show and have to rely on me to glean what happened, but this segment is crap, and for once I can't be bothered to transcribe Vince's speech. Go read some other SmackDown! report - I'm assuming somebody else does them somewhere.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Before anything more can be said, STEPHANIE CAN'T ACT bounds out to the ring (trying to knock down an imaginary door with her head, looks like)
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Golly, this whole segment was a heapin' helpin' o' SUCK.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

The Goddesses of Love pick a winner - I guess there was a contest to see who could best sing "Loving You" while embarrassing themselves the most. Why didn't *I* enter?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

"William...that's brilliant. Thank you! Trish versus Steph at No Way Out - YUHHHHHH" and his head kinda starts bobbing like one of those dolls. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN ANGLE
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Are X-Pac and Credible holding hands? Yikes.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" - how can it be "the Rock's solo recording debut" if Slick Rick is also on the track?
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

By the way, Jim Korderas needs to club whoever was responsible for his photo in the "WrestleMania X-Seven" special magazine - he's not only got five o'clock shadow, he's got NINE o'clock shadow.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Kevin Kelly stands outside the Rock's door, ready for his weekly bitchslapping. Just to reinforce his character for our benefit, he picks his nose in full sight of the camera.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

From RAW, Vince McMahon and William Regal do a pretty good job of burning Al Snow, dressed as Mankind. If I had been typing the RAW report tonight, I might have called it thusly: "Left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left." Fortunately for YOU, I didn't!
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

I'm telling ya, one day that Kevin Kelly is gonna SNAP - and I wanna be there when it happens.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

All right, FINE. Here is the transcript of McMahon's speech to Linda. Under duress, I am. It's entirely possible that it's important we get this down for posterity - some plot point could be cleverly hidden in here and I just MAY be sorry later if I don't do it now. Still, I think it's a pretty crappy segment but what kind of recap would it be without every possible Vince transcription? All right, your disclaimers are out of the way. APPRECIATE ME, DAMMIT. SOME GUY YOU NEVER HEARD OF SAID I HAD NO TALENT AND NOW MY FEELINGS ARE HURT oookay, sorry.
WWF SMACKDOWN 15.2.2001

Angle's song plays as lots of clips of Angle taking it to the Rock plays behind it. Surprisingly, there are *no* shots of Del Wilkes, the Patriot.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

BAN - ZAI - DRAWWWWWWWP. You can count to a hundred, but three will suffice.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

I'm not sure how you could forget during *this* ad break, but you're watching "WWF SmackDown!" on UPN - say, in this bumper...who's that guy next to X-Pac that looks just like the Road Dogg?
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

ahhhhhhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(some day - wow he's hold him up there forEVER)AAAAAAAAAM.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

X-Pac has a smile and a hearty wave for Jericho...he's in a chipper mood because he knows that, by not competing in a singles match tonight, I won't be harping on him about not jobbing.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

Play his music and chop your crotch!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

WWF WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP: ERNEST MILLER DOT COM v. IVORY - Well, maybe it'll be short.
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

Kat tackles her down, rams her head into the mat a few times, vertical suplex (!), field goal kick...monkey flips her out...hmm, she has more moves than the Rock!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

Hey! Team ECK is WALKING!
Meanwhile, the Fun Brothers are WALKING!
Meanwhile, the Rock is WALKING!
Meanwhile, the No Way Out ad is WALKING!
Meanwhile, the XFL cheerleaders shilling Stacker 2 are WALKING!
Meanwhile, Kurt Angle shills SmackDown! 2 while he's WALKING!
Moments Ago, somebody was WALKING! while Trish Stratus took it to Stephanie
OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP - WALKING! WALKING! WALKING! WALKING! WALKING!
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001

Anyway, the graphic don't lie - it's Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley at No Way Out. I like to call it the "making the frozen pizza" match
WWF SMACKDOWN 22.2.2001




HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes city, family STICKERED to death!
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