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The 7 - Guest Columns - Ten Things I Love About Goldust
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Parts Unknown
Lap cheong
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#1 Posted on 23.1.03 1522.15
Reposted on: 23.1.10 1523.08
Ten Things I Love About...(inhales)...Gooooolllldddusttt...(BITE!)

10. His intriguing entrance: Goldust has one of the most elaborate entrances, complete with falling black and gold ticker tape, a "widescreen" polished Titantron video and eerie, yet somehow contagious and exhilarating, music.

9. His costume: Of course, when talking about Goldie, one has to notice the absolute uniqueness of his ring garb. From the flowing robe to the gold wig to the weird vinyl suit, it's definitely the most readily-identifiable getup in the WWE. Nothing even compares.

8. Team player: Goldust doesn’t seem to mind when he is left in the background. Even though he has one of the best entrances in the Fed, he often enters the arena to the Booker T theme and just squats down while Booker does his bounce. Somehow it’s a fitting role for him and I like him as the underdog who gets little respect.

7. Versatility: It doesn’t matter if he’s in a tag match, singles competition or a backstage skit, Goldust is able to do it all. He is the epitome of “ring veteran” and is able to adapt to any style. I’ve never seen a boring Goldust match, only boring opponents for him.

6. His ring work: The next time he’s wrestling, notice how crisp Goldie is in the ring. He’s been doing a little rapid-fire power slam for the last few weeks that takes my breath way. I love the butt-butt and Shattered Dreams, and he always makes a great face-in-peril for Booker.

5. Interaction with Booker: These guys are the single reason to watch Raw these days (well, maybe Randy Orton, but that remains to be seen). I need not recap the fun things BookDust have done together in the last year, but they have certainly put a hundred smiles on our faces, which is more than we can say for the rest of the roster. Even when Goldust played Booker’s second fiddle and acted as the weak link in the team, he was making us mark-out. Their tag title win, though almost instantly negated by the ascension of a lesser team, was one of the most genuinely heart-felt moments in recent memory.

4. His ability to steal the show: Hired as a one-off returner for a cheap pop at last year's Royal Rumble, Goldust was so over with the crowd and in such good ring-shape, the WWE kept him around. It was obvious they hired him as a jobber, but through his comedic antics and good work, he has won a grassroots following with the crowd. The WWE tries and tries to give heat to guys like Batista, but the fans are smart enough to gravitate toward true charisma. Goldust is a heat-machine by himself, without any promotion or breaks from the company. You have to love that.

3. His character: There’s nothing weak about Goldust in this department. While many wrestlers seem so one-dimensional - such as Bill DeMott with his “GRRR! AHM A BULLY!” schtick - Goldust has a role more multi-layered than his wardrobe. What are his motivations? Why does he like movies? Why does he dress that way? We have no idea, and that’s the beauty of it. Ahhhh...a bit of ambiguity goes a long way.

2. His promos: What needs to be said here? Since “Booker and Goldust At the Movies,” the skits have made us roar with laughter...especially “The Goldust Hunter” skit, which I rank as one of the top three funniest bits of all time.

1. His determination: Scott Keith said it best - the more they kill Goldust's character, the harder he seems to work. His moves get crisper and his effort gets stronger with each week. In a period when most “superstars” seem to be running on empty and have little desire, Goldust is the one wrestler who stands above the rest as someone who is worthy of a video, complete with Creed music.

Thanks for your time. It’s been awhile since I wrote a Slash column, and it feels good!

Parts Unknown
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asteroidboy
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#2 Posted on 23.1.03 1656.07
Reposted on: 23.1.10 1659.01
Everytime I see Goldust, whether he's backstage in a group shot, or walking to the ring, I know that I'm watching a wrestling show. His garb and makeup are so garish and over-the-top that when you see it, you know that you're watching the carnival. People just don't dress like that and go to McDonalds. And that's a good thing.
TinMan
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#3 Posted on 23.1.03 1703.43
Reposted on: 23.1.10 1703.43

    Originally posted by asteroidboy
    Everytime I see Goldust, whether he's backstage in a group shot, or walking to the ring, I know that I'm watching a wrestling show. His garb and makeup are so garish and over-the-top that when you see it, you know that you're watching the carnival. People just don't dress like that and go to McDonalds. And that's a good thing.


Astroidboy, when's the last time you were down on Sixth St. in Austin on a Saturday night. I've seen a few dressed weirder that GD eating pizza on the street. LOL
asteroidboy
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#4 Posted on 23.1.03 2043.47
Reposted on: 23.1.10 2046.58

    Originally posted by TinMan

      Originally posted by asteroidboy
      Everytime I see Goldust, whether he's backstage in a group shot, or walking to the ring, I know that I'm watching a wrestling show. His garb and makeup are so garish and over-the-top that when you see it, you know that you're watching the carnival. People just don't dress like that and go to McDonalds. And that's a good thing.


    Astroidboy, when's the last time you were down on Sixth St. in Austin on a Saturday night. I've seen a few dressed weirder that GD eating pizza on the street. LOL



You know, right after I typed that, I realized that I'd forgotten about Halloween on Sixth St. Ah, the college days...
dMr
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#5 Posted on 27.1.03 1325.58
Reposted on: 27.1.10 1326.05
And lest we forget he offered the only amusing line relating to the necrophilia angle
AbortionCandyMachine
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#6 Posted on 28.1.03 0741.36
Reposted on: 28.1.10 0752.04

    Originally posted by dMr
    And lest we forget he offered the only amusing line relating to the necrophilia angle


Amen! I keep a tape archive of all the entertaining (IMHO) matches/segments on Raw and Smackdown since a couple of years back. The backstage segment where Goldust admits to dabbling in necrophilia ("What? I was young and stupid, ok?") remains the ONLY evidence in my collection the the Katie Vick angle ever happened.

(On a side note, the Al Wilson angle is similarly represented solely by the words "Funaki.. feel.. very.... dirty.")
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#7 Posted on 28.1.03 1326.32
Reposted on: 28.1.10 1329.04
Yep. The necrophilia line perfectly illustrates why Goldust is awesome.
socetew
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#8 Posted on 1.2.03 1447.30
Reposted on: 1.2.10 1448.46
It's funny, because I hated Goldust in his first run. I don't know why, but he really pissed me off. Then when I saw him in WCW as Dustin Rhodes, I thought he was cool. And I was totally excited to see him back after the rumble last year.

His character must have gone through some change. I feel like it became sillier and more entertaining.. less annoying. Plus he is a face now, so I'm supposed to like him, I guess.

Story-wise, wasn't it Goldust who somehow got Vader out of the WWF? If so, then how did that happen?

thanks in advance,
soce, the elemental wizard
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#9 Posted on 4.2.03 1332.25
Reposted on: 4.2.10 1333.37
The thing I like about Goldust is that even if you think it's nuts, you find yourself acting like him, like when I saw HHH's ass crack, all of a sudden, I went "Sssssss....HHOCCK!". So there you go.

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