The W
Views: 95765575
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Color chart | Log in for more!
23.4.07 1709
The 7 - Guest Columns - 2002 YEAR IN QUOTES - WWE - August
This thread has 1 referral leading to it
Register and log in to post!
(729 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
User
Post (1 total)
vsp
Andouille
Level: 87

Posts: 722/2042
EXP: 6185303
For next: 207496

Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2851 days
Last activity: 64 days
#1 Posted on 30.12.02 1221.36
Reposted on: 30.12.09 1222.22
Hmm, that's two weeks in a row they've cut back on the "several thousands of dollars" of show-opening pyrotechnics - we're approaching "trend" and moving straight past it to "pattern" (or is it the other way round?) not to say I don't think it's a pretty good idea - pyro's so *played* after all.
WWE SMACKDOWN 1.8.2002

They sure say "What?" a lot when he's out there. Is Austin on this show? I forget. (No, I don't forget, actually - I never forget - sigh.)
WWE SMACKDOWN 1.8.2002

Nidia, meanwhile, is putting her mouth all over everything of Cole's that's exposed - and that's probably more of a word picture than you need.
WWE SMACKDOWN 1.8.2002

BRILLIANT IDEAS: Three weeks ago, Eric Bischoff appeared on RAW and noted recapper CRZ took a hiatus. Ratings were 3.8.

Two weeks ago, faced with the prospect of no CRZ(tm) recap and knowing there was no other way to get decent results without him, viewers returned to watching RAW in droves and the ratings jumped to 4.3.

One week ago, with the hiatus over, fans calmly turned their televisions back, returning instead to reading the CRZ recap, taking a few of their friends with them. Ratings plummeted to 3.7.

I think it's clear - what needs to happen here is for the WWE to PAY me to *not* summarize their television!
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Man, wouldn't Jericho be screwed if Flair decided to jump to SmackDown!? Oh we're not supposed to think like that, are we. I mean, since *the writers obviously haven't* and all....
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Wow, they sure greased up Trish for this segment.
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Well it's the big whip back to the first corner and Dudley falls to the mat. Show walks over his back - that'll either hurt, or feel really good.
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Man, this is about three different kinds of bad idea.
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Hearing them talk about how hardcore matches are a "RAW exclusive" makes me wonder why Stephanie hasn't tried to hire away Tommy Dreamer yet. I shouldn't be thinking about that, of course...after all, *the writers haven't.*
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Man, I've seen almost as many "Blue Crush" ads tonight as I've seen "Blue Crush" sneak preview SPAMS in my email box. (God only knows why they think I'm a teenage girl!)
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

"I don't think they've ever been defeated in tag team competition!" says GOOD OL' JR. Actually, since they lost to the Hardy Boys on 20.5 and to the NWO 24.6 - they're actually .500 (2-2) on RAW. But you were close, Ross. REAL CLOSE.
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Bless her heart, Molly pretty much ignores all this - and even Ross tries in vain to call the match instead of deal with Lawler's over-the-top CRAP. Now that that's all out of the way, let's pretend I had a selective mute on and just call the match as if *somebody* had.
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

Flair applauds with a smile on his face - strut - wooooo! Is he passing the torch? NO, silly! He already did that with Sid Vicious!
WWE RAW 5.8.2002

SODA REVIEW: This week I share my opinion of "Dr Pepper's Red Fusion," which sounds like a bad overnight after hitting the Mexican restaurant but is actually their new "hip" entry into the crowded pop market - or pop mart, if you will. This review is already too long, so let me cut to the quick: this is a damn near perfect imitation of Safeway's "The Skipper," and if you've ever had that let me tell you that THAT is a pretty fair imitation itself...of Mr. Pibb. So, the question actually remains: why would Dr Pepper want to go to so much trouble to create an imitation of an imitation of the fake Dr Pepper? The answer, of course, is this: they think they can make money in the process.
WWE SMACKDOWN 8.8.2002

Commentators tell us that that's called the "West Coast Pop" (I think), and Tazz suddenly realises Mysterio was NOT the legal man. I'd say "I love Tazz" but the only time they mention stuff like this is if it's part of an angle...
WWE SMACKDOWN 8.8.2002

So she leaves...and Stacy hides them underneath the couch. OHHHH if ONLY someone WATCHED this show! They could WARN Stephanie! In fact....didn't Stephanie make a SUPER BIG DEAL about having SmackDown! people WATCHING SmackDown!? My head hurts again
WWE SMACKDOWN 8.8.2002

Bischoff takes the envelope and kisses it. Laughter all around. I guess it was too much to hope that it wasn't a note saying "you are being filmed right now."

Take a look at the Richmond Coliseum! Tazz actually mentions Bischoff is in Stephanie's office - damn, if ONLY someone was WATCHING THIS SHOW - THEY COULD TELL STEPHANIE - hey, wait...why isn't TAZZ telling Stephanie? Isn't having this gig *important* to him?

You have to hope this is some big angle and Stephanie's just setting a trap - otherwise these have got to be the STUPIDEST people....oh wait. What am I saying?
WWE SMACKDOWN 8.8.2002

MOMENTS AGO: KING BROCK LESNAR & IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL proudly displayed their ticket stubs on their way to the front row! OH BOY SMACKDOWN! TALENT ON RAW AND I'M GETTING ALL CAPS EXCITED
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Wow, H actually hits the ring without doing his "whale's blowhole" spot, but that may just be out of desire not to mess up his PRETTY shirt and slacks!
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Bischoff says he can't make a commitment like that, Rock threatens to wipe a monkey's ass or something, and Bischoff says he'll see what he can do.
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Minidust tries to follow but has some trouble climbing over the barrier. Too bad he didn't just pull his GUN...ohhhhhh
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

This just in - Lawler is still horny.
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Did Bubba REALLY just lose 31 pounds from his announced weight like that, or did Fink just make up a number to see if we were paying attention?
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Also, is this ANOTHER week that they just put Flair out there without any interview time? That'd be just like having a show about Ozzy Osbourne where he doesn't SING! (Hey wait.)
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Hardy has managed to douse himself with JUST enough water to make all his body paint run, in turn causing him to look as if he were trying out for the Blue Man Group.
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

T thinks about cueing the wall of flame but remembers at the last second he already used it tonight and stops himself. Hahaha, FLAMES cost MONEY folks.
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

Ross uncomfortably wedges in a mention that more teenage boys watch RAW than any other program on cable television - well, sure, you don't expect them to be watching "Rugrats," and Anna Nicole ain't exactly as pud-pullin'-worthy as she used to be (no offense meant to our more zaftig audience, naturally).
WWE RAW 12.8.2002

WHOA the refs have new UGLY "SmackDown! blue" shirts with black pinstripes tonight. I guess they double as softball jerseys?
WWE SMACKDOWN 15.8.2002

RIKISHIKICK on Lesnar! Keesh wedgies himself good - and gives Heyman the stinky face! Heyman doesn't really get his nose in there all that well, but as a non-athlete he just might not be that flexible.
WWE SMACKDOWN 15.8.2002

WHOA there sure is a gut on JIM ROSS, who hosts with JERRY LAWLER. Suck that in, man, there's no desk to hide behind in that shot!
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

Note to Robert Lamb: Hardy is now wearing *both* hankerchiefs in his back LEFT pocket. Is this dramatic shift from bottom to top merely coincidental with his brother jumping shows? WHO CAN SAY? (You!)
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

Then, introducing himself to her with a handshake, Rock's leg starts uncontrollably twitching - oh, see, that's not his leg, it's his MIGHTY DICK.
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

TRIPLE H RETURNS! Sunday, he takes on Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam. Later tonight, he takes on The Rock. Now, he takes on a pink polo shirt and ready to wear slacks.
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

Rock says for the 4,999,000th time he's gonna lay the smack down all ALLL over Nor-FUCK! Well, he must have said "Norfolk" else he'd'a been bleeped, right?
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

Hey, can I take a stroll into 1-style pretend insider mode? It's just...well, it's kinda *funny* the way Rock got two segments to make fun of Paul Heyman - segments that may have had input from a RAW writer who might (as we in the business say) "have heat" with Heyman, the lead writer for SmackDown! - perhaps under the gun, knowing that the popular opinion is shifting towards the show that they're NOT writing on, perhaps out of comic books to read and looking for ways to get some shots in knowing that Heyman can't strike back in similar fashion, as there isn't any equivalently exploitable writer slash character...hey, you see how rumours get started now? Just mull it over; maybe it's something we can watch for in coming weeks. You and I can have our own insider stuff! WOW! When will Heyman put MY number on his speed dial?! (wink!)
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

HEY RAW Zone credits are up and I guess we're outta here! Umm oh and stop the clock (N[itr]o contest? 10:25)
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

But boy howdy, how about that biggest main event ever ending in a No Contest, huh? We've never seen THAT one before, eh? Eh? DON'T MISS A MINUTE!
WWE RAW 19.8.2002

KING BROCK LESNAR & IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL kick things off - call it a CRAZY HUNCH but I believe Heyman will speak, while Lesnar hops up and down from foot to foot!
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Man, Heyman talks NICE and slow - a transcriber's DREAM. Thanks, Paul!
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Go away stupid racecar drivers meeting the Tough Enough 2 trainers for the MILLIONTH TIME what do they just FORGET what Kenny's DONE to them EEEEEVERY TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Here's a Special Video Look at the Brock Lesnar Workout - I'd really be into this if I were gay. But I'm not. My loss. YIKES he's sitting in an ICE BATH - that's COLD! No WONDER his nipples look like that - what, what are you looking it?
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Good Lord, I thought we were DONE with "Van Wilder" ads - now I gotta watch "Van Wilder" *DVD* ads?
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Jamie Noble & Nidia are WALKING! Stopping by an old fat guy, Noble has her show him her tits. Aww, that's nice.
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

GUYS GUYS HE ALREADY TRICKED YOU ONCE DON'T FALL FOR IT AGAIN - man, it's like Stacker 2 erases short-term memory!
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Here comes STEFFO, presumably to show off her blue top and giant breasts.
WWE SMACKDOWN 22.8.2002

Hey look guys, THE WIFESWAPPER *finally* made it to MSG.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Why yes, Bischoff *is* in EVERY segment tonight.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Tribute follows - this is the point where most recappers usually make a crack about covering up a murder or something like that, but by now I like to think of myself as above that kind of straining for that kind of credibility, wink wink. Instead, I'll go for MY cheap laugh by saying "footage of his Nitro cage match with Jeff Jarrett is NOT included." See how it works?
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Jericho is really good at masking his (really quiet) spot calling between (really loud) taunts.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Out come THE REVOLUTION - I MEAN, THE UN-AMERICANS.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Poor Dreamer - he finally got the hardcore title belt retooled from Texas to New York (license plate) and then they go and to give up on the entire division.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

van Dam spins into a legdrop and misses, Dreamer with an elbowdrop that misses, van Dam's kick caught, tries an enzuigiri and misses, Dreamer's kick caught, HIS enzuigiri misses, van Dam leaps over a nonexistent legsweep, clothesline misses, Dreamer's clothesline misses - they pause for the "indy respect" spot and the crowd pops like idiots. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CLAPPING? THEY JUST MISSED LIKE HALF A DOZEN MOVES THERE "ECW! ECW! ECW! ECW!"
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Tripleteam stripdown - Patrick fails to call for a disqualification, and Howard is relieved of everything but a red pair of underwear - strangely reminiscient of the underwear he wore back in 1995 (only much bigger!) and even THOSE are briefly pulled down before he rolls out of the ring. Was this trip really necessary? I mean, sure, the statute of limitations on angles is generally regarded as seven years, but that doesn't mean you have to rerun them RIGHT AWAY, does it?
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

She presents the mic to Garcia, but does not engage her in "hot lesbian action" (hey, my Google hits just went up again)
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

Courtesy "Good Morning America," footage of Criss Angel hitting the water torture chamber - he'll be there for 24 hours. "Write your own joke" of the week involves "torture" and "24 hours at The World"

Peeking inside The World - well, whaddaya know, he's still there! I'm not exactly sure where the "illusion" is...unless he's NOT there, really, but instead chilling out in a nearby dressing room with a hot meal
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

"Oh, and just one more thing, Eric...how do my...peaches...taste now?" Good God, I religiously recap this show and even *I* barely remember that line.
WWE RAW 26.8.2002

SAP transmitido en espanol - who needs pyro when you've got STEFFO? It's SMACKDOWN! You know, maybe they should say something like "she's taking the pyro money and using it to give bonuses to good workers" or HAAA sorry I smarked out for a minute there. But you know they COULD say "she gave the pyro budget money to Brock Lesnar!" but they never seem to take advantage of logical extensions like that. Do they?
WWE SMACKDOWN 29.8.2002

I hope you didn't pay for SummerSlam to see this match, folks, 'cause people who spend money on pay-per-views are SUCKERS. (Hey, I paid to see Shawn Michaels, dumbass.) Oh. MY BAD.
WWE SMACKDOWN 29.8.2002

This might be a good time to note the makeover given to the ring - the ropes are still blue, but they're attached to silver ringposts, and the aprons and steps are also silver. By burying this deep into the match description, I've ensured that NOBODY will read it - then six months from now, someone will ask "say, how come CRZ never said anything about the silver ringposts?" and I'll get very righteously indignant and stuff. Oh, the life I lead sometimes.
WWE SMACKDOWN 29.8.2002

Twist of Fate...is easily reversed into the F-5 - oh my. Count to a thousand - or if you like, stop after 1, 2, 3. "This match *sucked* because Lesnar didn't bust out his shooting star press WHEN'S HE GONNA BUST OUT HIS SHOOTING STAR PRESS" is what some idiot probably said. (3:41)
WWE SMACKDOWN 29.8.2002
Promote this thread!
ALL ORIGINAL POSTS IN THIS THREAD ARE NOW AVAILABLE
Thread ahead: 2002 YEAR IN QUOTES - WWE - June
Next thread: 2002 YEAR IN QUOTES - WWE - July
Previous thread: 2002 YEAR IN QUOTES - WWE - September
(729 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
The 7 - Guest Columns - 2002 YEAR IN QUOTES - WWE - AugustRegister and log in to post!

The W™ message board - 7 year recycle

ZimBoard
©2001-2014 Brothers Zim
This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.154 seconds.