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26.7.07 0014
The 7 - Recap Feedback - Year in Quotes 2001: JANUARY 2001 WOWs Register and log in to post!
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Andouille
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Posts: 34/2042
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Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2944 days
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#1 Posted on 18.1.02 1316.55
Reposted on: 18.1.09 1336.58
Hah, you FORGOT about the WOW recaps, didn't ya?

(also known as "a quick one to do before attempting a year's worth of Smackdowns")

------------------

David McLane's voiceover promises another look at "one of the greatest matches in the history women's wrestling" along with never-before-seen footage! If you're cynical, you'll ask "what's up with the rehashed content?" but fortunately for us, I'M not!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

"Hey Poison! You tried to blind me with green venom - meet your antidote!" And then she flexes her guns. I don't know...I think my biceps are SLIGHTLY bigger. ("Yeah, your breasts are probably bigger, too.") HEY! I think I'm offended! And furthermore, THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE! ("Keep dreamin', fatty.")
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

"Help me - help me - please, help me...help me to escape this cheesy entrance video!"
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

And there's another Rapidly Approaching the Best Dropkick in WOW and Hyde goes to the outside.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Mistakes made by the commentators in this match: McLane promotes Nurse Mercy to "Doctor," while Marshall intimates Beckie is from "a small town in Kansas." In case you're wondering, no, I *don't* have anything better to do but nitpick.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

We pause to take a replay of Beckie's ride through the ropes - apparently, there's a 2 count and a foot on the rope during this replay, but why would we want to see that?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Hyde picks her up - snapmares her over...put in position for...hey, I didn't know Hyde had a top-rope splash, too - well, she doesn't, because it missed.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Why does Summer look like her four words took an hour to memorize?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Look, if you can't tell them apart, I'll help you this ONE time: Summer is the one carrying the floaty with "Summer" on it.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Into the ropes, simply AWFUL, awful dropkick (more like a knee - and that's being charitable) - Mystery says "I ain't sellin' anything else from this chick" and tags in Misery.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

What the heck? AARP? Is THIS the demographic for this show?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Mystery tags in - strange right - strange chop - strange punch - "martial arts," I hear.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Marshall goes into a brief lecture about how the drop toehold may very well be Summer's signature move - ummm, she hasn't gotten a pin off it, so maybe she should pick another maneuver?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Hop up and down and do the "lookit my boobies" dance, Summer! Hooray!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Camel (toe) clutch is applied...
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Gold can't lose - THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Several angles of replays of the Perfect 10 - amazingly, the ring does *not* fill with children.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Day makes a "are we off yet?" face. Hey, Julie, given that Chris Jericho unicorn horn you're wearing, you got no right to be dissin' that girl no matter HOW blue and glittery her eye shadow is.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Log onto wowe.com NOW! Or later. They're pretty flexible about that.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Powers decides to shake her tail feathers in Delta's direction...that *can't* be a good idea, even if I *do* appreciate it.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Tag to Loca, who has managed to whip around her pigtails about 37 times to this point.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

Promotional consideration paid for by Invention Submission Corporation, Tootsie candies, and Invention Submission Corporation (2) - I don't understand it - do pro wrestling watchers strike you as being the type to regularly come up with brand new inventions?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

She tries to shoot off the halon again, but it's dead. God bless her for trying. She gives up and walks off.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #14 6.1.1

QUICK QUOTE: WOWI.OB 15/16 (- 1/8) - they announced a new CEO, but it wasn't Ric Flair or Linda McMahon, so who cares...
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

It's Jungle Goldbrrrg!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

What's that? You say your weiner isn't working? This is the ad for YOU, boyo!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Caliente and Boom Boom are teaming because Caliente's FIRST partner, Dynamite, apparently really pissed off somebody and never made it to a broadcast.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Caliente looks RIGHT AT ME as she makes her way ringside ("You mean you *actually* looked in the direction of her EYES?") Hey, leave me alone. She's STILL shimmying - I'm not sure that girl can actually walk since she's STILL in a mambo, even in the ring.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Tag to Caliente - ummm, today, Caliente...
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

("Aren't you gonna say 'Terri Gold is WALKING!' or something?") Well, that voiceover guy and this nagging cough are really taking me off my game this week... that graphic, too! "Cold Gold Title Match?" I mean...WHOA.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Is your kid STUPID? This ad is for you!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

"Ice Cold, baby!" drops the elbow, bad touch press gets 2.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Hey, who snuck the MULLET MANIA sign into the building?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #15 13.1.1

Wow, Riot and I have the same exact eye colour.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

As Patti cheers her on, Star goes for the white and blue locks. Master of psychology McLane explains that this is the most devastating thing one can do to a woman - well, I guess in the WOW world.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

A brief graphic for the pay-per-view, and it's time for the Benny Hill break - while that's happening, ponder this question: in this matchup....who exactly is the FACE?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Vroom vroom! I count three "vroom vrooms" before she leans back on the top turnbuckle and asks me to take her.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

What does a woman do with a broadsword, anyway? ("Wouldn't YOU like to know?") Geez, I didn't mean to feed you a straight line.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

"Who is Miss Cleo?" Why, *she's* the woman I'm always fast forwarding past!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

It's VIDEO PACKAGE time - featuring Creepy Voiceover Guy!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Dragging her to the corner, putting a foot on each rope and covering. The referee, who has seen all of this, goes ahead and counts anyway. No WONDER you don't have a name yet!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Hey, wait - TV-14-DLV? Man, if I were thirteen and my parents actually paid attention to ratings, I'd be PISSED.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Marshall: "Who in the world is that?" McLane: "I think it's her brother or her cousin..." and then he fails to add "maybe both" to amuse me, so I'm forced to do it myself. This is why recapping can be such hard work sometimes!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

While you ponder this, let's pause for a brief word about....impotence
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Gold now wears a "10" on her chest - and if you think I'm gonna make THAT joke before I get a chance to interview her, you're nuts.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Marshall wants to know if Danger's nuts - no, she *always* does this, Lee - where ya been?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #16 20.1.1

Wait a minute...McLane reads WOW Magazine? Oh man, he's a LOSER.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Hmm, wait, I wonder if he ever visits WrestleLine, "the official WOW Magazine online home." Har har har....anyway, here we go. Cue the quick cuts and creepy closeups!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Can you *hear* Summer twirling her hair?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

And into the ring where DAVID McLANE has magically transported!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Before she gets to cutting, ICE COLD is out - a TRENCHCOATTED FIGURE hands her a big mirror, which she proceeds to break over Star's head! Star goes down like a sack of bricks. Commentators seem to think it's a fan - I guess they let fans through *all the time* or something.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Poison spews the venom to take *her* down. The hat and coat are off - even the commentators know it's Poison now!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Wedgie wedgie wedgie
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

"Lotus and Jade are scrappers" is a kind way of saying "Lotus and Jade will NEVER, EVER win."
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

And now, a word from Benny Hill (who is still dead, as far as I know)
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

She's doing weird tongue stuff, she is. She's stealing the mic, she is.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

We'll be generous and call it a Falcon Arrow.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Elbowdrop to the....butt?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Riot tosses Blond over the top rope, does a little dance, and calls for the mic. "I just have ... a few things .... to say ... to everybody here." Well, we'll have to hear her breathe another week as WENDI WHEELS is out with a garbage can lid - WHACK!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

"Fans, Sunday - iNDEMAND - order this pay-per-view event - it's gonna be hardcore - Riot against Wendi Wheels!" Hey, *I'd* like to get hardcore with Wendi - I mean, that'll be an interesting match. Ahem.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Chyron says "If you leave WE'RE COMING AFTER YOU!" I don't believe that. I'd like to SEE them come after me, come to think of it. BRING IT ON! I DOUBLE DAREYA!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

If your child is stupid, let Alex Trebek sort 'em out
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

It's strange to go from the Phonics Game to the hot sex phone lines, isn't it?
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

"Charlie, there's no roadkill at the beach!" "Well, we're gonna turn them into ... crab... infested... corpses layin' dead in the sand!" I sense that Rider is much better on the mic than Davidson.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Summer's breasts are truly frightening - as is her vapid face - as is her unplacable accent and wooden delivery. She'll probably kill me now.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Another high ten and bump and they're *both* kinda creepin' me out now.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

Funny to see the USA BLONDE hot sex line in the middle of the Beach Patrol match, isn't it? I mean, what are the odds of...eh whatever.
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.1.1

This *must* be MY problem - I've never thought of exciting a woman by giving her the idea she may lose her hair. I'm gonna work on that - we'll see you NEXT week for HYPE CENTRAL!!
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #17 27.2.1





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